Friday, June 10, 2011

My sweet friend Crystal!

pretty toes :)

Here's a few pictures from yesterday at the zoo and my girls night out!

I can't even begin to describe the joy I have when I write in my blog and how comfortable and safe this place is for me.  Writing is my passion and I would never clump myself in with the great writers out there but I have been journaling since I was little and blogging since highschool, it sure is fun!  Thank you for listening to my heart and loving me!

Tonight I was doing my daily bible reading (Reading the Bible in a year) and oh my goodness was I at the edge of my seat. Now that must be how God meant reading his word to look like. :) I was in Genesis 28 and 29 reading about Jacob's family.  My sweet husband is across the room watching baseball and I blurt out 'How am I ever going to remember all of this!!' he just shook his head and I proceeded to trail on out loud about how Abraham is the father of Isaac, God asks him to sacrifice his son then says No stop!, Isaac marries Rebekah, they have two sons Esau and Jacob, Jacob tricks his blinding father into believing he is the firstborn-Esau, Now Esau wants to kill his brother, THEN there is now Jacob's family he goes away so his brother won't kill him and he falls in love with Rachel but has to wait 7 years while he works for her father...well he does and then the father tricks him and he marries/lays with the older daughter Leah!, Jacob is upset and has to work seven more years to earn a marriage with the one he loves, Rachel.  God opens Leah's womb and she has three sons which causes Rachel to be jealous so she offers her maidservant.  Leah at this point is done having children and tried gaining Jacob's love through children but it didn't work so she offers her maidservant.........

This story connects to the nation of Israel that I have yet to read about.  This book was meant to be read through in full.  I am thrilled to find out in my future readings how this all works together for God's glory..and it will.  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob have interesting stories and important roles in the gospel of Jesus.  I am excited to read more but boy is this a lot to remember and retain! I'm being consistent in asking God to help me remember.  Darren is being a great sport in hearing me out as I stretch this story out to find the deeper truths here. Exciting stuff, huh? I think by committing to God's word He is changing my heart and i'm falling hard for him.  He is incredible in the way he is in the details of everyday life.

These three men mentioned above are simple simple simple men! I LOVE that because that's me. I don't know what sort of talents they had but God is not once mentioning their accomplishments because what matters to him is that they are serving Him. You will be amazed at how life looks when you accept it's not about you...and it's all about Him.  I know that it's still a hard concept to understand for me since by nature i'm selfish.  My eyes have been glued to Him lately and it is effecting my marriage, and relationship with Garrett, and how I love friends.  I am happy..and I didn't do anything other than open my bible and pray.  He said he would change my heart and he is..he is opening my heart to new ideas and a love only he gives.

I have never hurt to see God but tonight I ache to hear his voice and see his eyes...I tell him that although he feels like an old friend seeing him for the first time will be the sweetest moment and I'l realize how little I knew. Can I tell you my secret??

I am a visual person.  I learn by seeing or hands on..maybe that's why I stink at math?! Anyways this goes back years ago.  I read a story about how our heart is like a home and there are different rooms. One room was described all warm and cozy and God was waiting there for us.  I guess it stuck with me..because when I pray my eyes are closed and I go to that room.  There's a fireplace and it's quiet, my Jesus is sitting on the couch and although I never see him in detail he is there and I sit down and let it out.  Sometimes our conversation starts as me saying, 'I'm sorry it's been awhile, i've missed you so much..'.  He just always loves me and that place where he is in my heart is wonderful..because he is there.
Right now he is making my ENTIRE heart his home too and It is beyond amazing.  He is cleaning house with me and we are getting to know each other more.  I am crying a lot these days because the tender place in my heart is full of love from Him.  Isn't that such a neat way to see God? 

Well today I had the chance to speak to my best friend a few times and as she mentored me I couldn't help but feel blessed by her.  She reminded me that sometimes God answers prayer with saying to wait. It's hard to sit back down and accept a time period of waiting but I think this will be an incredible place in my life as I grow and mature.
Well I should end here as my sweet baby is going to need to eat pretty soon. Goodnight friends!

Okay so what does prayer look like for you? I really do want feedback on this please :).

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I am loving on my little guy more than ever this week.  He is becoming more interesting as he learns new things and reveals his personality to us.  God blessed us with a happy baby and I couldn't get enough of those baby giggles! I often wonder if those cheeks of his are getting sore from all the kisses?!

Yesterday I finally did it! I dug out the old work out clothes, tied those tennis shoes, and set out for a run.  It felt great to be active again and do my part in losing the rest of those stubborn pounds! I wouldn't say running is a deep love of mine but It makes me happy to workout.
I cancelled out the workout last night with a cup of cappuccino punch though. It was AMAZING! If you want the recipe I'll send it your way :). I drank this at night and offered some to Darren and it dawned on me later that the coffee, sugar, whipping cream, and vanilla ice a perfect combination to make you crazy happy! haha seriously I was wired and decided it best to lock myself in my room so i'd save darren from the wrath of all the words building up inside.  I was feeling extra chatty and so it seemed better to bury myself in God's word and put that energy to good use.

This morning Garrett and I headed to the Zoo for his very first trip! We met up with a few friends on what seemed like the hottest day yet.  I was hesitant to go but figured if it was too bad we'd head home.  We saw a few animals and then the little guy was starting to get drenched in sweat so I made the smart mommy decision to head home after water on the face wasn't working.  As I loaded him in the hot car he gave me a super sad look as to say, 'really mom?'.  But then the air conditioning came on and I had to praise God for the gift of cool air on a day like today! Not everyone has that luxury and i'm very thankful we're blessed with it! Hopefully we can try to see more animals the next time it's not this warm out.


I have loved God since I was a child and with time that love has grown into something much more intimate than I'd dreamed of.  Last night as I laid my heart before God and shared the deep parts of myself with Him I was overwhelmed with the nearness of my Savior.  Tears began to flow as I shared with Him my fear of only knowing a small part of Him when in fact there is no way for me to ever grasp the fullness of the Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit).  Not until Heaven will I be capable of comprehending all of Him. It is the most intimidating thing to confess sin to a God who already knows, but the response from Him is gentle in how He extends forgiveness. I read through my Bible chapters last night and became even more in love with God's word.  In Matthew 8:18-34 Jesus is on a boat with his disciples and there comes a great storm.  Jesus is asleep and the disciples go into a panic and cry out to Him to save them from drowning! Jesus said to them, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?'  Then he gets up and calms the storm and these men are in awe that even the winds and the waves obey Him. 
This story is incredible because there's a deeper message here for each of us.  In whatever storm that is causing our heart to be troubled we're shown here to look to Christ because in Him there is peace and a calming of the waves in our life.  It's a beautiful picture of the result of trusting God. 

I wish that we could sit together over a cup of my wonderful cappuccino punch so that we could really get deeper into the things about God.  It's my goal to be more intentional in my relationships to be a better friend.  I treasure this blog and the platform to share my love for God and how I'm growing as a child of God, wife, and mother...but there's a lot to be said for a good face to face conversation! I'm learning to embrace relationships in my life right now because we were meant to walk this life with others. 
Well it's time to wrap this up for today. :) I love you for reading this and caring for me! Thank you for being my faithful reader and I hope that you're encouraged today.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

We're being welcomed home with high temperatures but plenty of sun! Our trip to Indiana was wonderful and came to an end way to quickly.  Don't you hate how fast time goes when you want it to drag on and yet when you want time to be quick it goes ever so slowly! Funny how that works out..

I am full of energy today which is wonderful.  Garrett and I headed out early this morning to run errands and at one point in the grocery store I was the mom with the crying baby...and then I saw a mom walking out with a little boy throwing an even bigger fit, kicking and screaming and he made my little guy seem like an angel..THEN I realized how that will probably be me one day :). All moms walk that road and it seems there is no getting through motherhood without the struggles of an upset child.  Today that was my boy though and I didn't like it one bit! He has hit a growth spurt again and i'm hoping these next few days pass with my hair still intact. Today I did learn how to push a cart with my hip, hold a baby trying to leap out of your arms, and pick up groceries. So anyways for now we are dealing with extra feedings and a fussy baby, but hey! we had 10 hours of sleep total last night and I'll take it! 

Darren and I had two 14 hour trips to/from Indiana and God blessed our marriage incredible in that time! I can't get enough of that guy.  He says things every now and then that blows me away.  I was confessing some things i'm struggling with and he challenged me in a graceful way.  He does that and it reminds me of the way Christ is towards me!  I've been running on empty for some reason and God filled me up during this trip home and also through my husband.  He 'gets' me and still love me for who I am!  We are different in many ways but I love how he compliments me in such a way that only God could have intended.  We were reminicing about how we met over the internet and after being reminded of the details I was amazed that God could write a love story so beautifully.  We are approaching our three year wedding anniversary and this last year was the best we agreed on! I'd say the first two years were rocky and certainly filled with troubles but I love the marriage we have today.  We're learning each other and growing more in love.  Marriage is not simple and it certainly takes a daily effort to be intentional with loving and showing respect.  Some days are easier than others! :) But for today i'm thanking God for blessing me with Darren.  He's wonderful!

A long time ago my father brought to my attention how I can care about people to a fault.  I will take a friends burden on myself and after awhile if i'm not leaving whatever issue they're having with God i'm feeling really down for them.  It's a joy stealer! I hope you don't think i'll stop caring for people but there's a healthier way!  God intends for me to love my friends and if they're struggling with something to listen and be available but then pray for that person and leave it in God's hands  It's not healthy to hold onto their issues and try to help too much.  Loving someone means sometimes to share truth but then let them make their choice even if that choice will hurt them.  I hate seeing hurt friends making choices that will lead to a path of more hurt..hope that makes sense! I'm seeing friends angry, bitter, getting divorces, distant with their spouse, struggling with life and It breaks my heart.  I'm always amazed the way we can justify sin and believe God is alright with that.  But God intends for me to trust Him in all matters. Thankful for realizing this over the last week so I can better love the people in my life!

This summer the woman at church are doing a monday night bible study.  I am looking forward to this time with these new friends to dig into God's word together and see new friendships bloom.  I hope God uses monday nights to teach me how to be a better woman, wife, and mother.

Well I don't even want to think about laundry but the pile is...well way too big! I'd much rather sit outside and read but that stink'n bees nest is there and we have to take care of that first.  I guess that means laundry
:( bummer! Have a wonderful day!