Thursday, May 10, 2012

{In a moment}

I have lived 23 wonderful years on this earth.
I was raised in a home with a father and mother who loved, encouraged, corrected, and forgave like Christ.
I have four siblings who are the greatest people I know.  Two sisters, Two brothers..they're my favorite. They loved me too, and God used them time after time to lead me out of valleys and to celebrate with when we reached the mountain tops.
I had this desire for a husband like no one I know.  With all my wild plans of becoming a pastors wife God led me to a sailor.
At the age of 19 I wore a white dress and married my man. I have a husband who is stubborn enough to have kept me for almost 4 years.  They have been years of coming to terms with who I am and doing all of my best growing right smack dab in front of this man...who still can look me in the eyes and tell me how he loves me after the heartbreak I caused Him.
My man hasn't had any health scares, is laid back, loyal, and thinks he is the funniest thing around town. He is both charming and handsome.
I thought we were going to part ways at month 3 but as things would work out we have had almost 4 years and we're in love.
When I was 21 my life consisted of rubbing a very large belly and dreaming about tiny socks and onesies.  As my husband was away defending our country I was praying Him through and writing to him often about how wonderful pregnancy was.  I had heartburn but it was no cause for complaints.  That baby in me was healthy!
I only had one scare when that red stained and my heart sunk.  I told God I still loved him no matter what the doctor would tell me.  And when I heard that heartbeat I cried and rejoiced in my God's sovereignty. The nurse told me she was amazed at the calm in me.  All I could do was smile.
My husband returned in time for the arrival our our handsome son Garrett.
He came out and we locked eyes and as I shivered the tears strolled down in that most beautiful moment of my entire life.
He is over 14 months old now and he has been a happy and healthy child.  We love on him all the time and spoil him like no ones business! Every single stinking day that boy gets a most welcoming greeting from His daddy and plenty of hugs and kisses.  He doesn't see his extended family much  but I have seen first hand how God has redeemed that lost time.

I have known Jesus as my Savior for almost 18 years. 
He has allowed each moment of my life to happen exactly this way.
He must have smiled when I told Him my plans for how this life would go even still as of last week.
He knows the plans for my life.

Jeremiah 29:11

New Living Translation (NLT)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.


He has given me
23 years
a singing voice
two eyes to see
hair to fix
two working legs and two working arms
a heart that has not failed
a soul that loves deep
a family
a faith
a plan for my salvation

But lately i've stayed up late thinking about how in mere minutes this whole life could look very different.
I could die
Garrett or Darren could be taken
We could lose everything we own
sin could shatter
I could face news of never being able to have another baby

I don't live in fear but God has been leading me to treasure what I have in this moment. 
Do you know how freeing it is to choose to live fully in the here and now and walk joyfully throughout your day giving thanks?
I kiss that little guy extra much lately and hug my man in a stretched out fashion.
I don't look at our military life as hard but as a calling and one to which we are answering with no complaint.
So love extra much today friends.  Savor the sweet moments throughout your day.
Know that in a moment life can change but that God is sovereign and will shower you with hope.

I have plans but so does God, and his are always to give me a future and a hope.
I love you all so much!
Laura

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

{Sacrifice}

2. a. Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.



{Selfless}
Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish



I was sitting outside tonight thinking about motherhood and how today was really hard.

 All I wanted to do was drop my teething toddler off at a family members house and drive away for a cup of coffee and time alone.
Unfortunately all of our family lives hundreds of miles away.

I don't have an easy job.
Sometimes I down play my role as a mother because its not the most glorified job.
But it's an honorable one and requires much sacrifice and a selfless heart.

All evening I wanted to grab a book and sit outside and soak up this beautiful day without a whiny baby grabbing on my leg throwing himself on the ground.
I wanted to be selfish.
In fact at one point I lost my cool and scolded Garrett harshly because I was angry that he was getting in the way of a beautiful evening outside.
Normally he is calm and happy but teething Garrett is a very different child.

Then the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart and I felt so bad for losing my cool.
I immediately crawled down to the floor where my boy was sitting and told him how sorry mommy was and asked him to forgive me for being frustrated.
Then I reached both arms out and squeezed him tight while planting a huge kiss on his forehead.
Then we loaded that little mouth of his with more orajel and I forgot about the book and sunshine and played on the ground with him all night.
It was good to lay down what I wanted for the sake of my child.
He needed me.
Having a responsibility of care taking 24/7 is exhausting and there are moments I want to crawl into a hole when i've messed up but I see how much love my child has for me even when I mess up.
He really wants to make his momma happy and when he disappoints it breaks his heart.
I'm learning and working through the selfish side of me.  I'm thankful that mothering comes natural though, that its normally easy to love and lay down my own wants out of concern for my child.
One day when he is leaving my home i'll be amazed at how time flew but for now I need to simply soak up these days, even the ones full of tears and sore mouths.
If you're a mom know that your role is special and requires much of you but it will be worth it.
The days are long but the years are shorter so treasure the moments.

I am praying for a full nights rest for my little man.
How are you praying for your own today?

Laura