Friday, September 3, 2010

Alright! This is the fall post i promised last time but first this is a picture update of me at technically 14 weeks and 5 days, close enough to 15 weeks! :) (I'm feeling great!)
Now, I have thought long and hard about how to best write this entry so here goes nothing!

My absolute favorite post to write since blogging has been about my head over heals in love with fall (post). It comes every year and around this time...but my problem is that i never seem to find the right words, or when i begin to describe fall in the way i see it, well it just doesn't do justice to actually how wonderful it is! It's a true dilemma my friends. SO, today i am going to attempt to persuade you to see fall through this girl's eyes, in hopes that you will fall as hard for it as I have :). Or that you'll at least feel cozy and warm inside.

Lets do this with pictures though, because well it's more fun that way.
Fall turns out to be the best time to take a walk. The air is crisp and cool and the view can be breathtaking. (I love the crunching of leaves under my feet) Although to appreciate it you have to have the right attitude to be able to take in these beautiful displays! If you're too busy with life, you're going to be distracted and miss out so i recommend slowing down and seeing what's going on around. It won't be disappointing, and it's always been a reminder of how God brings change and although change seems to stink, it can actually be a really beautiful turnout. So you can have a great lesson from God and be able to enjoy what He's created, I love it!
Okay PLEASE buy a candle that is something like warm vanilla, brown sugar, apple pie, pumpkin pie, anything that resembles warmness. It will seriously be a blessing to walk around a home filled with pretty soothing scents. WARNING: the food ones may make you a little hungry though, sorry! You've been warned though :) I love burning candles in the fall while reading a good book curling up under a blanket. It's perfect to me. I have not been blessed with a fireplace in the last few years so this is my substitute and it's proven faithful to making me smile.
Ah, the wonderful memories fall brings back to me! For 13+ years of my life i played every fall on a soccer field. I can still smell the freshly cut grass, and remember crystal clear how my ankles felt walking off the field on a cool evening. I lived for a good saturday morning soccer game in the fall. I promise to try not to push my kids too hard to follow in this dream of mine! But really, fall is a reminder of a sport that defined me in a way and made me smile. There were great relationships formed over those years and plenty of knowledge of the game i fell in love with.
I don't own this particular sweater, but it screams fall to me. :) it looks warm and cozy huh? I love being able to snuggle up in a warm sweater to my sweetheart. Sweaters have always made me feel cute and happy, and when do you wear them? In the fall. Oh and it makes drinking coffee look so much cuter as well. Yes, it's possible to look cute while drinking coffee, throw in a few curls and warm hat and it's quite the look! It's sure to make all girls feel pretty. :)
I didn't post a picture of jeans, but it's my other favorite fall accessorie. There is nothing like a good pair of jeans during the fall season. Talk about comfortable.
I love going to pick out pumpkins. It means carving one and eating pumpkin pie! Two very fun things that i enjoy. Do you know what i mean? It's always hard to find the best pumpkin but after looking for what seems to be forever (which is half the fun) you lay your eyes on the one. Or at least one that looks good because you're really tired and it's time to go. haha
Who does not love a good campfire? I love the many gatherings around a fire during fall. It's a great evening when you're able to sit with family or friends and roast marshmallows and talk about things and laugh. Where i live it's my favorite thing to look up at the stars on these nights. I used to pray under the stars all the time in highschool, it is another great memory!
Yes! It's that time of year, football! This is the first year i am actually really into it. As i mentioned in a previous post i have two fantasy teams that i'm going to have to keep track of. I'm really excited though. Football has always been another favorite of mine during fall though. Growing up my dad watched and i loved the background noise and wearing a packer jersey. Then when i met my husband it turned into Sunday afternoons on the couch taking a nap curled up to him. It was very special...but now it's different. Like last year when Darren was away at basic training i watched alone and it made me feel close to him, yet this year i'm watching purely because i want to and enjoy it. My how things can change! haha
I love warm apple cider, hot chocolate, coffee, and all the yummy comfort foods that turn up around fall. It warms my heart and there's nothing like a huge mug of apple cider :). I am smiling huge just thinking about it!
Seriously, isn't this breathtaking? It has my God's handiwork all over it. He knew we needed beauty in this world. He knew we needed reminders of Him, so He chose to bless us with a little hint of his beautiful work. I'm thankful for this season because it becomes obvious to me how much he loves me in the starry nights, the cool wind that pushes my hair back, the smell of an apple orchard that's unlike any scent i've smelled, the time gathering with family where much love is offered, and how it's simply stunning, like him. This season is my favorite though, and i know i've not even began to see what other breathtaking views are around this world, but i'm from the Midwest and haven't traveled much. This time of year is like some peoples tropical island vacation, cabin in the woods, Europe trip, etc. This season is my vacation and i have fallen hard for it.

It's my prayer that you enjoy fall this year and soak it up! Hope you enjoyed reading, this was once again just as wonderful to right about this year as the other years! Thank you for reading :).

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

It's been another quiet day. It doesn't seem to bother me though. :)
Today I woke up and made myself breakfast potatoes and then sat quietly thinking about God and who He is. I came up with nothing new, but admired the promises He has offered to me. Like His love no matter what.
The cat has been pestering me these past few days to let her outside so we went out and i sat in the grass next to her simply enjoying the sun and laughing at her rolling around chasing butterflies. She's a wonderful cat and has been keeping me company on these quiet days.

My life has been simplified these past two months. Although there are times I long for a home of my own and more activity and friendships, I see that this time of silence is needed. I see it as a period of time that i'm allowed to rest.
Soon the sound of silence will be longed for. As well as alone time will be few and far between. So i'm learning to accept where i'm at and treasure it, to see this situation as a very fortunate one for an expecting mother.

Tonight I made dinner, shake 'n bake chicken and mashed potatoes. I love being able to spend time cooking, however the clean up is always put aside! Know what i mean? My brother and I agreed to clean the kitchen tomorrow afternoon, not that it's terribly messy but dishes don't clean themselves. After dinner my brother and I went on a 2 mile walk and had a nice time. It's nice to be able to spend time with him. He has been talking about what he wants to do after highschool since this is his senior year. It's been neat to hear his ideas and encourage him.

I watched 'I love lucy' today for about an hour. That show never ceases to crack me up. It's my favorite TV show and i have started to collect the series on DVD. I only have 4 but am thinking about treating myself to the next season :).

This afternoon i was going through my closet (i need to organize it!) and found the slide show of Darren and I's wedding. I popped it in and watched it with tears filled eyes. It was sweet to see the journey of each of us as babies then our childhood and then into the teen years and then together. The pictures were wonderful to look through but left my heart aching for Darren. I miss him so much and although we have been able to email, it does not fill that longing inside for him. Times of separation allow you to remember why you love each other.
The thought crossed my mind, why me? I finally found this man of my dreams and He will be taken away at unexpected times for long periods of times. Why did this have to happen to us? Well first response is, we chose this. :) But it runs deeper than that. We were out of option, on our last straw and this was the light at the end of the tunnel. This is the door that God stood before inviting us through. On the Journey into the military it saved our marriage and God rekindled old flames that died because of bitterness and hurt in each of us. He used an unfortunate path to bring us to Him and ultimately together walking along this life the way He intended us to be doing.
He loved us each and from ashes worked them to make the starting of a beautiful friendship and marriage. Darren and I do not have a story of two perfect people who never wronged each other. We have a story of God's grace for two sinners. Our marriage is still not perfect but i'm learning to drop false expectations and instead learn to love Darren the way God intended me to. The more time i spend with God and love him, it changes who I am and the wife i am to Darren. The wife that honors, respects, loves, helps Him.

This evening I filled out a few more pages of my pregnancy journal. It was all about the first trimester and honestly it was a happy time of realized my pregnancy has been very nice! It's been a great experience. (minus the heartburn that i'm suffering from right now :)) Today i was wearing a pair of shorts that seem to be getting tighter and tighter by the day. I am passed being sad about my body changing and now rejoicing in having to undo the top button. Although i'm in a funny stage, i feel like i ate too much and am not ready for maternity clothes yet because i don't pull of 'pregnant woman' quite yet. haha See how this is a weird stage? I bet in a month from now that will all be different! I can fit into my jeans because they were too big anyways and i had to wear a belt but it's still been way too warm to wear jeans. It's suppose to cool off however and i'm looking forward to that!
Well i should wrap this up, i'm looking forward to writing about Fall and my absolute adoration for it in my next blog :) Have a great night!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Good morning!
Ready for another week?

14 Weeks pregnant and i'm starting to notice a 'bump' :)

I wanted to share some pictures my brother took a few days back.

It has been crazy lately. It was nice to get home from Kansas, the trip was really nice and i loved seeing Ej and the girls. They're always fun to spend time with.
My sister melissa had her son Logan on Friday! She was only 2 weeks early but there were some complications and her doctor wanted to push this pregnancy along to make sure they had control over the situation. I'm thankful that everything went well and prayers were answered! My mom and I drove to Wisconsin Friday morning early and we made it in time to spend time with melissa. I won't lie i'm a little traumatized by the fact that in 6 months that will be me laying in a hospital bed being told to relax and breathe. I didn't watch the actual birth but i was in the room talking with melissa right before and watching her go through contractions seemed to make me flinch and dread being in her shoes! But when we came back in after logan was born it was awesome to see both melissa and pete completely in love with that little man. I kept wondering how Darren would react when He was holding our baby. I'm actually even more excited now after watching them and holding logan. He is adorable!

I'm hanging up my running shoes for the rest of this pregnancy. I've decided after much thought, why risk it? Doctors differ on this and it's a little bit of a debate among pregnant woman but as much as i love to run, i see the warnings far outweigh the positives. Pregnancy is not the time to train for a marathon. I enjoy walking the same as running and the important thing is to stay healthy. :)

This morning i woke up early and then made a delicious breakfast and had some decaf coffee which i learned still has caffeine in it...? I try to make wise choices when it comes to what i'm filling my mouth with because i want to be healthy and not gain more weight then what is normal during pregnancy. The problem i'm facing is that everything looks good and i'm hungry all the time now! I started my second trimester yesterday and what a difference this one has been compared to the first trimester. I have not thrown up and have had a fairly easy pregnancy this far, but i wasn't hungry in the beginning and I could hardly finish up a meal. Now it's the opposite! haha Guess it's time to be self-controlled. Wish me luck!

Church yesterday morning was really great. We talked about the church being the people and not a building and the importance of everyone realizing the authority and power we have in Christ. There was a lot more detail and good messages throughout the sermon but i found a jewel! For awhile now there's been something missing that i wasn't grasping about the christian walk. It was beginning to really bother me but Pastor A. nailed it. He explained how we are reflectors of Christ.
I am sure many of you are thinking, you didn't know that? Well i've always heard that but it didn't really sink into my heart until yesterday and i'm still today chewing up that piece of information that is so important to understand. It is almost key to realize this because it points to our purpose for being here and how to live among a decaying world. That's what Christ is asking of me daily, to reflect Him. It's a simple request but not always the easiest one to carry out because of the many distractions and even my own desires. It's my prayer today that i would focus on becoming more like Christ through the Holy Spirit who teaches and guides me.

This week my schedule is completely empty besides walking with a friend tomorrow. I realized this morning it was monday and as everyone dreads mondays, i don't have a problem with it anymore. This picture sort of shocked me! I need to find something to do with this free time! I have a hard time making commitments right now knowing i may only be around for 4 months. This is the dilemma many military wives face, even when it comes to going to church or getting a job, or volunteering. It's hard to decide if it's worth it when you'll be leaving right when you finally settled into your new home. But i believe doing something is better than nothing. I've been visiting family a lot which has been great but as this month shows no promise of anything to do, i may need to look into offering my time to a better cause than reading, walking, and eating. :)

Ready for some more fun news? I am now a fantasy football manager. Darren is unable to access his fantasy teams and asked if i wouldn't mind doing a draft. Well i knew about 5 football players and only pay attention to the Packers and Colts. Honestly, most sundays as Darren watched football i took my sunday nap cuddled up to him. Paying attention to the game? Not so much...:p
But i figured this could be something fun to do and give me an incentive to watch the games closer. I have looked forward to football this year and that's foreign to me. Maybe it's because it means it's fall? (I'm not sure) Anyhow my dad said he would help me and on the 3 hour trip back from Wisconsin he gave me a run down of fantasy football, the teams in each division, and the players worth picking. As he talked, I took a few pages of notes. I read through a few fantasy football magazines and did research on teams and players. It was actually a lot of fun! Who would have thought? It's great to have the perspective my husband does and why he enjoys watching the games and why he has too many teams. haha Anyways, yesterday evening i had my first draft and am very confident in the team i ended up having. It was fun to use my notes and refer back to one of the magazines when players I wanted were picked up. My dad was a huge help, thanks! Then the second draft i did for Darren didn't go as well but my dad again helped me out. I'm looking forward to the season starting to see how well these two teams do. I picked a few colts and packers for the pure enjoyment of cheering them on! ..AND because they're good :) My husband thinks i'm cool now haha Who would have thought i'd ever be interested in football this much?

I love my husband more and more each day. I am learning a lot about being respectful to him. To me, it's important to still talk and laugh with each other during a deployment. There is no reason you can't be great friends by the time you come back together. It comes down to how much will you will give and restrain from complaining? At least for me that's how i see it. When i restrain from saying what i want at times that will do nothing to build our relationship, it helps! Complaining about the situation has never changed the circumstances a military wife is in. You're husband is still far away and you probably feel more awful. It's a choice you have to make everyday. How am i going to choose to respond to this deployment today? It's not easy, that's not what i'm implying. But it can be done, and it will bless your husband. Honoring Darren means supporting him by my attitude towards his job and what he is doing. We both have talked about how hard this is, and it's understood. At times we will confess to having a hard day and really missing the other. But that's as far as it goes. Choosing to look at the benefits coming from this deployment is where my heart needs to be. There are many! It's a choice though, and no one can make it for you.

Maybe with all my free time this week i will be able to write more often :) Have a wonderful day! I am heading out for a walk.