Saturday, February 12, 2011

It's late..well actually we could say it's early? Either way I am awake and unable to fall asleep.  I've tossed and turned been kicked from the inside all evening and although I am very tired, I can't sleep?  I am almost 38 weeks pregnant so I suppose this is to be expected but now is the time that i should be soaking in these full nights of sleep with no interruptions. Right?
Here I am at 1:30 in the morning drinking hot chocolate and blogging. How nice is that? :) 

I have all sorts of things on my mind ranging from cleaning the bathrooms to how nice it is to freely be able to talk to God anytime of day. 
It has taken serious self restraint to not put my yellow gloves on and get to scrubbing toilets.  Today as I vacuumed each room I began to think about how it could be the last time I clean before I'm a mom.  There was no distractions or demands I was able to vacuum in peace. BUT I started thinking about how life is going to change drastically.  In a few days or a few weeks i'm going to experience my first contraction and my life is going to forever be changed.  There are some days I can't wait, and other days i'm thinking 'whoa! what did I get myself into?'.  There is no manual for how to be a mom and that's why i'm clinging to Christ to lead me through.  I love that he's willing to listen to my every fear and still see how crazy I am about this baby already.  Being a mom is a selfless job and i'm a selfish person.  I'm becoming quite aware of how God will be correcting some wrong in me through the gift of a baby boy.  Know what I mean? 
For weeks now his tiny bed has been sitting in our room, awaiting his arrival.  It's been a reminder that he'll be here soon.  "What will life look like" I keep wondering.  I know what the books say and have heard what people tell me but I don't think you can fathom it.  I love to hear from new moms and in their stories there is a mixture of head over heals love and pure exhaustion. 
My mom is coming this Sunday! I love being able to have her here for this time.  She knows me and is someone I want around as I deliver my baby and then bring him home.  I love my husband and of course want him here but there is comfort in having your mom there who has had 5 babies and can encourage darren how to coach me through.  (She told me that she wants to be in the room but that she wants Darren to be there coaching me.)
I'm nervous to go into labor.  I'm sure at that point i'll be thinking 'I don't want to do this anymore!' :) Pain isn't fun as we all can agree on but in the back of my mind i've made a note to remind myself that with this kind of pain it's going to end and what it's bringing is a tiny bundle of joy! I hope that through the contractions i'm able to remember that! 

Well it's time to pop another tums and try this sleep thing again. :) I hope you're having a good weekend!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Well I tried to post a picture but for some reason am having technical issues so it apparently it's not meant to be! It's okay though, the picture was of a lap full of crackers, a juice and milk cup. :) Which leads me directly into sharing with you all that's been going on in the past few days!

I feel that we're close friends and want to keep you faithful readers up to date with this pregnancy.  On Tuesday I had a wonderful birthday but had to go to a doctor's app.  Apparently my blood pressure was too high for the doctor's comfort and she was concerned about preeclampsia. (I won't elaborate on what it entails but it's not fun stuff)  I prayed and prayed that the results of my tests would come back and i'd be fine.  Then last night I was feeling dizzy with a headache and figured maybe I could sleep it off but in the morning I felt the same.  I had to return my jug of urine anyways (oh yes that was a fun test! :)) So I headed up to the clinic to ask about my results for the blood work done and then also had a chance to ask about feeling lousy.  She said although my results came back fine with the blood work she wanted me to go over to labor/delivery to be checked out.  I went down the hall and started thinking, "I hope everything is okay". Waiting in the room among a few other very pregnant woman had me feeling anxious.  (It's hard to believe that i'll be there soon!) Anyways I was praying for a close friend of mine who is due anytime and was asking God would provide for each of them as her husband is gone on a deployment.  I was called back and as I turned the corner there she was! Please pray for her because she was doing the whole walk around to get things going further but she looked exhausted.
I went back into the room and the nurse was incredibly sweet and took very good care of me.  She hooked me up to monitors and it was fun to see my braxton hicks contractions on the monitor.  I felt like I had proof finally! lol anyways everything did come back great and the headache/dizzy feeling faded this afternoon.  They did check me and I am 2 cm dilated and 40% effaced so things are moving along.  My pregnant friend didn't want me to be alone so her friend and birth coach sat back with me for the entire time I was there.  We had a great time talking and she even explained some things about birth to me which i was grateful for.  Now friends, isn't it neat how God provides?!?? Seriously..I sat back in that room feeling sad that I was all alone and being hooked up to machines not knowing how the results would come back and God took care of me by letting me know He cares.  I can't begin to explain how awesome moments like that are to me.  I was praying one minute that God would bring comfort and peace of mind and the next minute my friend was asking if her friend could sit with me.
I went home and made a handful of phone calls and am now resting.  :) I'm praising God that there was no complications because I was told they would have induced me today and I'd have been without my husband or mother.  We're praying that Garrett waits another week!  I will be laying in bed and doing minimal activity because I don't want to stir things up at all.  After Darren comes home i'll be free to walk, walk, and walk some more! Isn't that funny? Most woman at this point start doing all kinds of things to get labor going and i'm begging God that it doesn't happen yet.

Phew! that was a lot to get out. I hope it all made sense. :) Garrett has been moving all around since I came home and it feels like i'm on a roller coaster, you know the way your stomach feels with all those dips on rides? That's what it feels like..well plus a few kicks and squirms too. But you get the point :).  I've been having braxton hicks contractions a lot and they're pretty uncomfortable with a little pain.  It's sort of neat how your body prepares for labor.  I realize that an actual contraction will be in more of a patterns and much more painful but as I breathe through these smaller contractions It's neat to see how my body is preparing for labor/delivery.   I am keeping a close watch on what's going on but at this point i'm doing good.
I can't wait to share with you after this is over! It's weird to be this close to having Garrett, because for so long it's just been talk but soon he'll really be here. 

My mom will be here very soon and i'm looking forward to her coming.  It will be wonderful to spend time with her and have the peace of mind knowing she's around in case Darren can't get back in time.
Alright well that about covers everything going on. Hopefully i'll be able to blog a couple more times. I've been reading Daniel still and would love to share a little bit soon about what i'm learning. 
I was writing in my journal tonight and this was the verse on the page;
"I have called you by name, you are Mine." Isaiah 43:1

I love that God is taking care of me in the small ways and the big ways. He truly does walk us through all sorts of situations.  I love that the same God that led Daniel is leading me today.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Hey! How has your Monday been so far?
This morning I was thinking back to the times I dreaded Monday mornings because of school or work and I have to admit I don't miss that feeling! It's nice to wake up Monday with a smile. This morning I cleaned the kitchen, sweeped, took out the trash, picked up the mail, and enjoyed some quiet time paging through the bible while eating yogurt. 

I'm looking forward to being a mom and having my son here.  They grow up quickly and it will be nice to spend time with him.  There is so much i'm grateful for but to be able to be given the gift of a child is amazing.  Children are a blessing from God and although they can be a handful, I've come to learn from other mothers that they are worth it!
As i'm nearing the end of my pregnancy i've realized the energy tank is running on empty.  It's not that I don't get enough sleep either.  I think my body is just exhausted and a little uncomfortable.  I will miss it though and that's why I try not to complain, because even though I can hardly get up from the couch or out of bed, I love feeling Garrett move around.  I love having him close to me right now and being able to carry him around with me.  It's nice to rest and not have any demands on me except growing a baby.  I love admiring his tiny clothes, nursery, toys and books, and picturing him with all of his things.  I will miss this feeling of anticipation, but I know God will replace that feeling with new, even better joys.  I don't know what it will be like when I hold him for the first time, or when I change his first diaper, sing to him his first lullaby, etc..but I know that i'm going to be one happy mother.  I will keep in mind that there will be hard nights and moments I feel tired and not capable of fixing whatever is wrong, but I know that God is faithful in providing for us.  I've been blessed with an incredible husband who is walking this new journey right alongside of me.  I have family and friends that are willing to offer encouragement, help, words of advice, and prayer.  All those will be what this young mother needs!

God is providing in huge ways for me right now.  Darren and I started attending a church that we both love.  It's more of the people that draw us in though.  Having a church family that is wonderful has been a blessing.  I enjoy this time of meeting new friends and coming under a safe place.  I was driving to church yesterday morning when I realized that it's important for me to give here because God created in me gifts that he wants to use in this church body.  It can be hard to go to a new church and find yourself in the mindset of 'what can this church do for me'.  It was good to have an attitude adjustment because Christ wants us to give as well...and we're blessed so much more by that attitude anyways. 
Last night the Sunday school class i'm in had a Superbowl party and I had such a great time! The packers won so that definitely helped. :) It was great to meet more people and develop new friendships with other mothers.  It will be nice to have Darren back again because I love it when he is around too. to give you an example of just how great my God is...

Tomorrow is my Birthday! I was sort of expecting to spend the day alone because I don't really have a lot of connections here yet, but a friend from church invited me over for dinner.  Then it turned into a group of girls going out to olive garden tomorrow night instead! When I first found out i'd spend my birthday away from Darren and family I was sad but figured it would be okay because i'd take myself out to lunch and there was always the phone calls from all my family.  (That's one of the best parts! hearing from them all in one day :))  But God blessed me with a great group of friends who care about me and want to make my day special.  God provides in the smallest ways but it means the most to me when He does that.

Thank you lord for 22 years of life. It is a privilege to call you my God, and to walk with you daily.