Saturday, November 19, 2011

He will have to leave again.  I'm well aware that our chance at this 'normal life' will come to a close all too soon. Eventually we'll be adjusting to a different normal like we've done before.
But I confess that I enjoy hearing those loud boots climbing up the stairs at the end of the day.  Being able to be irritated by him without the fear that he will have to leave in a week.  Seeing him everyday for the past year has been a gift and one I may take for granted some days but deep inside I am thankful

Being a navy wife is really special.  I've had to grow leaps and bounds in a matter of weeks at a time.  I've messed up really bad a few times but learning those hard lessons has made me the girl I am today. My relationships are much more meaningful these days, especially with family.  I soak up the time we have together when we're able to visit.  I can't even begin to tell you how many amazing people i've met along the way. We have toured around the east coast learning about our country's history (I love history!).  We have a steady paycheck and health insurance for the last two years.  I get to shop at the commissary with my green bags. (Thanks ej!) There's so much more..

 I heard a JAG officer once tell a crowd that as a wife you need to take care of your sailor and watch out for him. I didn't realize at the time how his words would become so meaningful.  He's right I have an incredible role being able to make life at home safe, fun, and enjoyable for darren.  I like being the one to walk this journey with him. 
I'm sad when he has to leave and every so often i'll cry because i miss him so much but God provides every step of the way for both of us and i'm grateful for that.   

Staying faithful is not hard to do when he is away.  Eagerly i'll wait for a letter and when one finally comes I hold onto it and read it at least five times.  Getting emails and phone calls show that i'm cared for.  He thinks about me and he reminds me how special I am during those long months.  Deployments don't have to be 6-7 months of torture. It's all in how you choose to see it i've learned.
I've met some who have a pity party day after day and then i've met some strong woman who go on living life with an honest smile.
When someone asks how I manage during deployments i'll say, I like to think that the first and last two weeks are the hardest but the in between time you find a groove and accept a new normal for the time being.
I don't hold any bitterness in my heart towards the navy today.  We have a love/hate relationship to be completely honest.  One minute you are doing one thing and then you get a phone call that changes life as you know it and you quickly adjust to a new idea of life only to receive another phone call. :) It's okay though, i think change is good for us.

Garrett will also have to learn to experience life without his father there every day and although it causes some pain for each of us we know we'll be okay.  God's will is for us to be in the Navy that i'm sure. 
 It's the hardest part of what he does but knowing the cause for which he leaves makes me proud.  I stand behind him 100% and often encourage him to go further in his career. He is one of the most loyal and honest men i've met and I treats people kindly.  He's a quiet leader but the kind of man you'd want leading a group of people because he is worthy of people's respect.  That's my bias opinion of course. :) I believe in what he is doing and that's why I don't grumble to him when we find out news that he'll have to be gone or the idea of having to be a navy wife for many more years to come. 
I support him and that is a job I don't mind having.

So for this next year we're going to call this our home.  Who knows where we'll be after our year here but for now i'm living all here.

(i'll post more pictures later! The homeowner fixed up the front porch recently and it looks great. This is an older picture so i'll have to post a new one eventually)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I'm afraid we are stuck with this 'ginormous' picture. I can't figure out how to shrink it, my apologies! 

We have started our marathon of Christmas movies for this holiday season.  I like to start now because there are too many favorites and not enough time!
The year with out a Santa clause, The Grinch, The Santa clause (all three of them), The Muppet Christmas,
Family vacation, Elf, The shop around the corner, it's a wonderful life, a Christmas carol, Home alone, White Christmas, A Christmas story, charlie brown Christmas, and so many more! 
So you understand why we start early?

Growing up we would have a few nights my mom would make a lot of food and we'd watch a few of those movies. When you do that year after year it begins to stick and to not do it feels awfully wrong.  Although it's only me watching most of these, it's still a very fun tradition I'm enjoying this year.

Have you had a negative friend in your life? Have you been the negative person in someone's life?  Either way it's bad i've come to find out! There are times i'm negative and I can hear the things I say and can't stop talking! These are the times i've asked God to put his hand over my mouth and arm around my shoulder.  It's always easier to look at the downside in a situation or a person.  Recently trying to choose to look at life through a different lense has been a huge blessing! It's certainly not easy though. 
I hate hearing where I've fallen short but sometimes we need to! I don't think I was a very fun person to hang out with.  I intended good but nothing about what was coming out of my mouth was encouraging.  It's hard to see some woman in my life who take to facebook to vent.  That website has become a place of negativity lately.  I have so many friends that are constantly griping about one thing after another.  There are moments it takes everything in me to close my computer and walk away not saying a word.  For one i'm glad my parents are on facebook holding me accountable for what I say. And second it reflects these people that i care for in the worst way.  I was praying about this and that's when it hit me that's what I sound like to darren and others.  It stopped me dead in my tracks to be face to face with such an ugly side of me. 
A negative heart reflects a heart that isn't full of joy or love or content.  
What a good lesson to be learning! 

Alright well I should get to bed. :) 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

*It's that time of year*

When I pull out those boxes full of beautiful decorations.  
When the music plays endlessly serenading me back down memory lane.
When I feel happy and eager for the *white* blankets outside my window.
Searching for the perfect Christmas Tree, Trimming that tree,
BAKING! delicious food, Family, traditions, cozy nights by a fake fire on our t.v. 
Relearning the story of Christ's birth and celebrating with others. 
For the first time Garrett will experience all of these things and not really remember but as I prayed the other evening I realized how I wanted him to look back on his younger years and remember special traditions and time with family that he will come to treasure when he's older.  I'm not stressed or anxious to get through this holiday season with my check list.  I'm relaxed and full of joy for this time of year and spending it with my family and getting to make it special for Garrett's first Christmas.  
I love being the one to teach him about Jesus. 
He is loving the Christmas music we're playing and tonight Darren let me pick up the new Michael Buble Christmas CD! 
We're Moving!
Into a charming Cape Cod rental home.  December we'll be packing up and moving across town and settling into our beautiful home.  We were prayerful about this decision and knowing that God led us was a blessing.
I'm surprisingly very patient and not anxious about this upcoming change.  It will be for the better in so many ways but for now i'm living life here in our apartment for the next couple weeks, happily.
I know this won't be a forever home but it's gorgeous in my opinion and I can't wait to call it our home.
Goodbye third floor apartment living! :) You've treated us well and gave me stronger legs.

"I have no sense of fashion. oh well!" I don't know how many times these words have rolled off my tongue with ease but inside I hate that I don't have a sense of style.  Last night that all changed! I realized that like other things this is can be learned so after I put my son to bed I read a free ebook about how to dress my body type.  It was long but I couldn't stop reading as i was learning how I've been dressing in all the 'don'ts' she listed.  How come no one has told me!? ;) Well anyways, i'm going to have to use it as a guide.  She was very practical and encouraging about how to view yourself.  I really appreciated her words and advice.  I don't want to have the tired mom look.  I want to look my best and take pride in how I dress.  Anyways thought i'd pass along the website where I found the free ebook.  I hope that it might help you too.

I am loving my memory verse this week
Gen. 16:13
"You are the God who sees me"

It's such a great reminder that although i'm longing to see his face, he sees mine.  For now that is the comfort I've prayed for.

I've been enjoying writing for fun lately.  Just random short stories and jotting down ideas, and journaling.  Writing has always been my kind of adventure so i want to share with you while i'm in this learning season.  I really do hope God will bless me one day when I actually begin writing a book.  Thank you to everyone who has encouraged/nudged me in that direction! I can't wait to share with you when I begin to do that. I know i'll need help and your words then. :)
I've been reading a lot right now though and loving it.  It helps gather inspiration and is also a way to teach me how to write better. I'm all for learning from others. And I still get to enjoy a good book!
I know that there are tons of other writers out there that are incredible with ideas that blow me away. I'm glad that there are so many different styles and books. There isn't a mold and you have the freedom to be creative.

I dug up a journal from when I was a little girl and had a lot of laughs while decoding my chicken scratch! I loved writing then just as much as I do now at 22.  I look back on my blogs from year and years ago and know that God could use these words to lead others to him.
I will never be 'there' with all the knowledge to write a book but with time, practice, reviewing, good help along the way, I hope to start putting something together soon.
Pray for me as God is preparing my heart!