Saturday, November 20, 2010

I have finished packing up my little boy's clothes, toys, and the rest of his gifts. It will be fun to share with Darren what we were given and set up the nursery with him.
I am very very excited to see Darren put together the crib. I think it's one of those sweet moments I have pictured and look forward to giggling in the doorway and watching him piece together the instructions and whip out his 'tool box' which is actually the wimpy-est tool kit I have ever seen. Someone please get the man some 'manly tools'! haha I will take a picture of our hammer and post it for us to laugh about. We are not a DIY kind of couple and we're perfectly okay with that! We will venture into new projects when we have a place of our own but between apartment living and moving we haven't had a chance to fix up a home.
I have completed all of our Christmas shopping this year and it's still November! I wanted to buy and send out gifts before moving so that I'd have time to think about gifts and not let it be a stressful process but something fun while picking up gifts here and there.
Today I was sitting on my bed with my feet propped up looking at the gooseberry patch cookbooks online and writing down my Christmas list. I picked up my pen right off the top of my belly! Did you catch that? I am such a pregnant girl now! I'm using my belly as a table :). I did laugh and then began scheming other things I can balance on my stomach. I might as well take advantage of my new 'table'. Drinks, books, candy bars? Oh yes!
The navy and I were not on good terms this week. We have what you'd call a love/hate relationship. Some days I can remember that there is a positive to every negative, while other days I am fuming because they took my husband away and aren't always fair. I am pregnant and there should be special treatment for my family, right? It's only fair that they accommodate to my needs...after letting them take my husband away. :)
We signed up for this. I was reminded that straight from God and I wasn't happy to be told that.
He may or may not be around when our son comes and that thought just scares me and makes me want to cry but it's normal to feel scared for your first pregnancy anyways. Throw in the unfortunate circumstance that Darren will be gone...and you get the picture, but that is life.
I'm going to be given a choice daily over the next few months. Will you choose an attitude that reflects Christ or sit with your arms folded and refuse to let God be glorified?
I'm learning! I have always known God to provide in all types of circumstances and it may not be how I expected but it turns out to be really incredible when He has something to do with our lives.
I've been preparing today a list of the blessings in my life and throughout this pregnancy that I can remind myself of daily (if need be). So if i'm sitting in a delivery room without Darren or family I'm going to be okay. There will be a doctor and nurse that can deliver this baby and take care of me, God will remain in that delivery room and the holy spirit will walk me through. I took the worst case scenerio and filled it with truth that comforts me to the core. He will provide.
We need to remember the ways we're blessed when our circumstances seem's how we're going to walk through life honoring God.
I am willing to give an honest effort to have a good attitude because I may only have one chance to be pregnant and want remember this time of my life and be filled with sweet memories.
Please pray for Darren as it's probably incredibly difficult for him to not be sure what's going to happen. I can't imagine what He's going through and the anxiousness he'll feel while being on the ship during that time wondering if things are okay and just wanting to be home with his pregnant wife.
I tell my son all the time that he needs to wait until the actual due date or later..can we start bribing early on? Is that wrong? haha I will be doing the reverse of everything pregnant woman try to do in order to have the baby.
*Smiley* That's how i've always been. Since I was a wee little one, I have been called little miss sunshine. I was always smiling and still do! I love that God placed a gift of joy inside my heart when I was little and how it has evolved throughout the years into a deep joy in Him.

Life was sweet when I was a child. I had a great childhood and loved my two brothers and two sisters. We had so much fun together and as we each have different personalities we come together and make a pretty entertaining bunch. Our parents loved us and always did what was best for us. We went to a great church where 'God' sang as the choir director. (at least I thought Mr. Douglass was God, I'm still given a hard time about that!) When we moved and went to a new church I had a great time there too! I played soccer for 13 years and LOVED it. I wasn't the best on the field but enjoyed practices and the games and friends. I loved going to awana and saying my bible verses and getting candy! I played..oh did we ever use our imaginations! From cutting out 'paper dolls' people, furniture, etc from magazines, running around outside climbing trees, Polly pockets, barbies, throwing the ball around, our swing set, sledding, riding bikes, playing waitress with Melissa, having tea parties...I had fun. I was a blessed little girl. We didn't have a lot of money but we were well provided for. It hasn't ever taken a lot to make me happy.

So when I met my husband as a senior in high school, It didn't take much to make me love him. He loved God, sports, and was really happy. I knew right away that he was the guy that I wanted to spend my entire life with. He was the guy that I prayed for under the stars, and wrote all those letters to. That was what I knew then but it's incredible the way I see him now.
He still makes me incredible happy, and it doesn't take a lot on his part. If he smiles at me from across the room, sits and talks to me while I'm cooking dinner, grabs my hand as we're walking, kisses my forehead. But what makes me the happiest is when we're able to talk about God because I know that He is giving me something special. He isn't a man of many words and it takes effort, but when he shares his heart, He is trusting me and letting me see the Darren that only God has seen. That is one of the things i've experience in life that has made me feel special.
We're getting ready to be parents together. Can you even prepare yourselves for this adventure? I don't think so! No matter what books you're reading, or people you're talking to. It's something you learn as you go trusting God and each other...but the important part is being together. I've seen that in my parents and pull that out as one of the many things they did right as parents. They stood alongside of each other and honored the other one.

I thank God for my fun to love Husband. God made us for one another....and I'm so happy that he did!


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Hi! I hope you are having a wonderful day. I wanted to thank you all for the continued support in reading this blog and for those that have come back to me with encouraging words after reading. This blog has been a personal drawing board and It's been fun to do what i love, write! Thank you for not correcting my grammar and punctuation, i also love not being concerned about that. :)

Happy 25 weeks baby boy! (I love this shirt! It has been quite accurate, unfortunately!)

These pictures were taken by a friend on Sunday and I'm crazy about them. It was such a cute idea! I haven't posted bare belly photos because well I'm reserved but these are too sweet not to.

Do you know what I'm doing right now? I have lighted a Cinnamon roll candle, turned on pretty music, am wearing comfy pajamas, and kicking back for the evening! 30 minutes ago I was a mad lady taking care of this or that and all the little things in between. I am handling it well though and not stressing because there is too much in my life that makes me so stinking happy! Okay actually it's more about being thankful which leads to being joyful. I'll take God's gift of joy over happiness any day! This week I have not stopped thinking about how good my God is. I was reading in 1 peter last night and again today and came across a sweet verse:
1 peter 5:6-7
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

I did ask God where these words were last week! (ha) I love this verse though. Do you know how hard it is to humble yourself before God and admit you need help? Especially in this world that we're pressured to succeed all on our own? Well i've thrown my hands up in defeat and am recognizing that is not at all how God intended life to be lived. He wants to help us through trials or discouraging situations because he cares for us. What a comforting passage of scripture right there!
I have about wrapped up all of the details of our move and am at peace knowing how this time, although not fun was good for me! I learned a lot and had to be responsible, that's not a bad thing! I was walking around today with a smile singing 'God is good, all the time God is good' Is that even a song? haha well it was the song my heart has been singing lately.
This past Sunday a group of friends from church came over for a baby shower. We had such a good time together. There was a lot of laughing which is always nice! I've known some of these woman since I was a freshman in high school but most are woman that I came to know since having moved back. I had to praise God for providing such a godly group of woman that are a blast to be around and have supported me through this deployment and pregnancy. I am blessed to be surrounded by them and am going to miss spending time with them. I have been given plenty of examples of Christ in these friends.
We dug into delicious food and desserts, had fun playing games, I heard a great devotional from Mrs. Vite that I'm honestly taking to heart!, and had fellowship with one another. God was very much a part of this baby shower and I love that.
The devotional was an encouragement to treasure the phases with my son and remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. There's going to be rough nights ahead and I'll at times lack energy but it's my prayer that I don't lose sight of the gift God has given me. I don't want to wish this time away with my baby boy because from what I hear, it goes fast.
On sunday we reached 25 weeks! I am blessed to be at this milestone in my pregnancy and still have a healthy baby boy. In almost 100 days he'll be here and i'll be so stinking happy! We have been thinking about names and I have a few picked but am waiting to share for a face to face conversation because I need to really work my charm on my sweet sweet husband. Think that's a good idea?! haha I'll let you know how that works out.
Currently my room is overflowing with adorable baby clothes and all the other gifts that i've been showered with! I love being in here and can hardly wait to see him wearing all of this.
Alright i'm going to go off on a different direction now. Today I was thinking about having this baby and being the deep thinker I am all sorts of 'what if's' popped into my mind. What if Darren can't be there, what if this baby doesn't make it, what if he dies weeks after having him, what if he has a development problem? and on and on did the what if's come! I was starting to get nervous for a minute and then prayed about it because I realized that no matter what happens my God is still good and still cares for me. I have a perfect life sketched out for God to follow but sometimes His plan is not mine and it's actually better even when there is suffering involved. I was taken back to the book of 1 peter and reminded that if I go through suffering to not be surprised and to recognize that since I entrusted my soul to God, His spirit will lay heavy on me and no matter what I go through He will still provide everything that I need to walk through the day. He really loves me and has proven himself a faithful creator. I need to be at peace in that area because to live my life in constant fear would not honor Him at all.
It is important to continue to surrender our will to God and let Him have his way in our hearts. There really are some weeks that it has to be a daily choice I make to surrender.
I am really thankful to the close friends and family that have helped me carry some of the weight placed on me because especially the other day I was feeling really bad and to have them come alongside of me and say, 'let me help' was incredible!
well im going to go but have a wonderful night!