Saturday, November 27, 2010

Sometimes life is overwhelming! But we have the ability to choose how we're going to handle whatever is on our plate. I'm thankful for being given a choice to either dwell in a pit or dwell on God. This is a picture from the beginning of the year. We had an awful snow storm and were stuck in the house with no where to go. I came across this tonight and thought of how the amount of snow was insane! but i'm smiling away! This is where i'm at in life..things have piled up but I have never known such joy or peace in all my life.

Here I am almost 7 months pregnant, about to move and unpack a home, my husband is out to sea, and as the responsibility piles on...I haven't shut down. It's because God has not forgotten me. I am blessed to serve a God that cares about the details and who hasn't said, 'well good luck laura! see ya on the other side!'. No, He has taken me through every new situation and allowed me to walk through in a way that surprises me. His patience and grace towards me is unreal! I have a friend in God and it's a blast to spend each day with him. OKAY's not always a blast because he is stretching, molding, breaking, and building me and that's not always fun but He cares for me.
I have been reading the gospels john and mark. It is always interesting to go through the life of Jesus and learn more about him. I don't know when but as soon as I'm finished digging apart these books I know that i'll have a few great things to share with you! I'm in the stage of complete confusion about a few things that i've read and it's a great place to be actually. As crazy as it sounds, I love being confused about something I read because for one God encouraged me to dig deeper and go to other sources, i'm about to learn something new about Jesus and his character that in the end will draw me closer to Him and be more in love with Him. Does that make sense?

In a short amount of time I'll be packing up the car and saying goodbye to my family. This tears me apart beyond any words can portrait. I don't want to leave especially because of my mom. She is my best friend and I love her so much. I have learned a lot from her since moving back home and have come to appreciate who she is. We have fun together and i'm going to miss seeing her everyday. I am choked up even thinking about hugging her goodbye! I learned about my mom over the last 5+ months and am grateful for the mother she is. I cherish our conversations and the way she has been honest with me. We've gone to stores, had our weekly trip to the grocery store, worked on projects together, shared in many conversations, taken a few trips together, and enjoyed each other. It's wonderful to love my mother so much that leaving is this hard! I'm thankful for that.

I was searching for a quick verse filled with comfort during this transition time so i could say it over and over when i'm sad. There are many to choose from but I read this one and knew it would be perfect.

Psalm 139:1-6 (NIV)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

The sweetest thing about this verse is the reminder that God knows me. How he will provide in ways He knows I need. God always knows what the best for me is. So when the 'what if's' seem dark (what if Darren can't be here for our son's birth, what if Darren has to be gone again, what if I don't find a church, what if I don't make friends?) I remember they aren't from God. I know satan wants a foothold, but he doesn't have control over me, and as quickly as the what ifs come...I can seek God and lay all worries at His feet. He is going to provide because He loves me. And no matter what happens, it will be for the best if i'm trusting God. Maybe not the way I'd like things to turn out, but I trust God.
I haven't figured everything out and realize that as situations arise it will be difficult to face them but I am comforted by God's word and His presence.

I have been daydreaming about Darren's arrival and seeing him for the first time. I can't tell you how excited I am (even thinking about it makes me so happy!) to hug him and give him a kiss. To be in his arms and feel him close to me..
We are rewarded for time apart with these wonderful reunions!

I think it will be fun to hug him and have a bump in the way! But you know what I know will happen?? We're going to smile A LOT at each other because it will be unreal to be in the same room, the same car, etc! I can't wait. :) I'm totally going to be a creeper and stare at him that first night because i know i'll not be able to sleep. It will be like a little kid the night before christmas. Haha okay i will not do that but I'm telling you, it's going to be awesome to see him!
I love who my husband is and how God created him in a way that fits me perfectly.

Well it's getting late and I should be going to bed! I hope that everyone is having a great weekend, thanks again for reading and sharing in this journey with me! It is always fun to sit down and write what God's doing in my life.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!
I am pleased to say that i'm not stuffed! We had a wonderful Thanksgiving lunch just the four of us. (Dad, Mom, Timmy, and I) It was fun to laugh to the point of tears and enjoy a good conversation. I'm looking forward to eating mashed potatoes for dinner tonight. :) It's the best part of thanksgiving! Okay well one of the best traditions for me at least.
Could you not see this post coming? The 'what i'm thankful for' post! Well here it is :)
My wonderful family! Two brothers and two sisters, some additions and little ones too, and my parents. They're all amazing and bring a lot of joy into my life. I'm thankful that God blessed me with a family that loves Him and makes my life fun.

Darren's family! I love my second family and enjoy all the time spent with them. We're spread out across the country but it's nice that we're able to stay close through phone calls, email, and short visits.

I miss him so much today! But i'm really thankful for this amazing man. He's my best friend and life is more full because of him. I can't wait to see him everyday again and soak up the time we'll have until the next time he has to go away. He's handsome, smart, athletic, charming, hilarious, and so much more. I love talking to him and snuggling up next to him after a long day. It's fun to have dreams and hopes with Darren. I am thankful that God blessed me with a husband that couldn't be more perfect for me.

My baby boy! Oh my goodness do I adore this little guy already. We are bonding more and more and i'm daydreaming about what life will be like when he arrives. I have a feeling life will never be the same. I can't even believe that he's going to be here soon! I'm thankful to be almost 7 months pregnant and feel this great!

Last but certainly not least, I'm thankful for Jesus! I don't think saying thankful says enough. All year long you've heard me talk about what he's doing in my heart, or how he's blessing me. You know how crazy I am about God. I love Him and am thankful for the gift of eternal life that i'm going to spend with Him. To save you from reading a novel i'll post a song that says a lot about the cross and how I feel about following Christ.
Enjoy thanksgiving and the time spent with loved ones!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I haven't even started writing and i'm tearing up! I saw this verse last week and thought how nice it was and that i'm really going to need to remember it. Well i didn't know how badly i'd need those words today. This verse is acting as a form of life support. I think it's a great place to be in, needing God's word to help you function. I'm not a drama queen, nope just a young woman that's trying to make sense of what's going on in my life.

Last night I poured my heart out to God and asked why. I don't tend to do that often because it seems all wrong to be asking God why this or that has to happen. I did though, and today I remembered this verse, how God does care for me and wants me to go before Him with an honest heart...even when that heart is confused or sad. He is strong enough to handle my 'whys' and wrap his arms around me, keeping me safe.

I have been dreading goodbyes with my church family. I have come to know so many wonderful people through this time at home and i'm sad to go. God is in the hearts of these people and as I've faced this time apart from Darren, he has made it less lonely because of them. He provided a few ministries (woman's bible study, Awana, and the young adults group) that blessed me incredibly! This morning I cried thinking about how much i'm going to miss these people. I love how God is moving at Calvary and I don't want to leave. You know what I heard this morning though? It came from an almost complete stranger in sunday school. This person told me to draw near to God and He will draw near to me...and during this move and time of uncertainty God will replace my loneliness with Himself as I spend time in the Bible and seek Him. Thank you!
Sitting in church the thought came that God is going to meet me in Virginia. He will provide a church family that as I become involved and grow new relationship will walk with me through this new time in my life as a young mother. He will place people in my life that desperatly need His love and i'm excited to reach out and share the love God shares with me. God is definitely doing wonderful things at Calvary but that same God is working in lives of others and He seems to want Darren and I to be in Virginia for this time in our life.

To my church family that is reading this, I'm really going to miss you.

Two more weeks to soak up time with my mother, father, brother, and close friends. To cherish the bond between our cat shadow and enjoy the nights she curls up by my feet. I have enjoyed this deployment, akk! I just said EJOYED AND DEPLOYMENT in the same sentence!! See how cool my God is and the ways he can change hearts? ;)
He blessed me with a lot and i'm really able to look back on this time with a smile and say God is sovereign. I will finish my apron, start/finish my cross-stitch, go for a few walks, read my Bible, and enjoy a few more quiet days.

I want to become more acquainted with God's word, that is my desire and I pray that as I go deeper in the word that you too would be blessed with what is revealed! (i'll be most likely writing about it)

I'm becoming more and more excited for my little baby boy to be here. It's funny how some days I almost forget that one day he's going to be here and no longer inside of me. I have been thinking about whether he'll look more like Darren or I, and if he will be a happy baby, or what kind of personality he'll have. I'm crazy about him though...and I'm excited for that moment at birth when he is laid in my arms. My body will never be the same, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to gain much more than stretch marks, extra skin, and new hips :). I'm gaining a new life that will change my world in wonderful ways. **I may feel different about these stretch marks when he is 18..we'll talk again then!
As much as he is mine, he is more God's. What a beautiful child....(I'm biased because he's my son of course) And this little ultra sound is a reminder that he's in there if the kicks aren't enough of a reminder. Have a wonderful night!