Sunday, November 21, 2010

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I haven't even started writing and i'm tearing up! I saw this verse last week and thought how nice it was and that i'm really going to need to remember it. Well i didn't know how badly i'd need those words today. This verse is acting as a form of life support. I think it's a great place to be in, needing God's word to help you function. I'm not a drama queen, nope just a young woman that's trying to make sense of what's going on in my life.

Last night I poured my heart out to God and asked why. I don't tend to do that often because it seems all wrong to be asking God why this or that has to happen. I did though, and today I remembered this verse, how God does care for me and wants me to go before Him with an honest heart...even when that heart is confused or sad. He is strong enough to handle my 'whys' and wrap his arms around me, keeping me safe.

I have been dreading goodbyes with my church family. I have come to know so many wonderful people through this time at home and i'm sad to go. God is in the hearts of these people and as I've faced this time apart from Darren, he has made it less lonely because of them. He provided a few ministries (woman's bible study, Awana, and the young adults group) that blessed me incredibly! This morning I cried thinking about how much i'm going to miss these people. I love how God is moving at Calvary and I don't want to leave. You know what I heard this morning though? It came from an almost complete stranger in sunday school. This person told me to draw near to God and He will draw near to me...and during this move and time of uncertainty God will replace my loneliness with Himself as I spend time in the Bible and seek Him. Thank you!
Sitting in church the thought came that God is going to meet me in Virginia. He will provide a church family that as I become involved and grow new relationship will walk with me through this new time in my life as a young mother. He will place people in my life that desperatly need His love and i'm excited to reach out and share the love God shares with me. God is definitely doing wonderful things at Calvary but that same God is working in lives of others and He seems to want Darren and I to be in Virginia for this time in our life.

To my church family that is reading this, I'm really going to miss you.

Two more weeks to soak up time with my mother, father, brother, and close friends. To cherish the bond between our cat shadow and enjoy the nights she curls up by my feet. I have enjoyed this deployment, akk! I just said EJOYED AND DEPLOYMENT in the same sentence!! See how cool my God is and the ways he can change hearts? ;)
He blessed me with a lot and i'm really able to look back on this time with a smile and say God is sovereign. I will finish my apron, start/finish my cross-stitch, go for a few walks, read my Bible, and enjoy a few more quiet days.

I want to become more acquainted with God's word, that is my desire and I pray that as I go deeper in the word that you too would be blessed with what is revealed! (i'll be most likely writing about it)

I'm becoming more and more excited for my little baby boy to be here. It's funny how some days I almost forget that one day he's going to be here and no longer inside of me. I have been thinking about whether he'll look more like Darren or I, and if he will be a happy baby, or what kind of personality he'll have. I'm crazy about him though...and I'm excited for that moment at birth when he is laid in my arms. My body will never be the same, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to gain much more than stretch marks, extra skin, and new hips :). I'm gaining a new life that will change my world in wonderful ways. **I may feel different about these stretch marks when he is 18..we'll talk again then!
As much as he is mine, he is more God's. What a beautiful child....(I'm biased because he's my son of course) And this little ultra sound is a reminder that he's in there if the kicks aren't enough of a reminder. Have a wonderful night!


No comments: