Saturday, November 27, 2010

Sometimes life is overwhelming! But we have the ability to choose how we're going to handle whatever is on our plate. I'm thankful for being given a choice to either dwell in a pit or dwell on God. This is a picture from the beginning of the year. We had an awful snow storm and were stuck in the house with no where to go. I came across this tonight and thought of how the amount of snow was insane! but i'm smiling away! This is where i'm at in life..things have piled up but I have never known such joy or peace in all my life.

Here I am almost 7 months pregnant, about to move and unpack a home, my husband is out to sea, and as the responsibility piles on...I haven't shut down. It's because God has not forgotten me. I am blessed to serve a God that cares about the details and who hasn't said, 'well good luck laura! see ya on the other side!'. No, He has taken me through every new situation and allowed me to walk through in a way that surprises me. His patience and grace towards me is unreal! I have a friend in God and it's a blast to spend each day with him. OKAY's not always a blast because he is stretching, molding, breaking, and building me and that's not always fun but He cares for me.
I have been reading the gospels john and mark. It is always interesting to go through the life of Jesus and learn more about him. I don't know when but as soon as I'm finished digging apart these books I know that i'll have a few great things to share with you! I'm in the stage of complete confusion about a few things that i've read and it's a great place to be actually. As crazy as it sounds, I love being confused about something I read because for one God encouraged me to dig deeper and go to other sources, i'm about to learn something new about Jesus and his character that in the end will draw me closer to Him and be more in love with Him. Does that make sense?

In a short amount of time I'll be packing up the car and saying goodbye to my family. This tears me apart beyond any words can portrait. I don't want to leave especially because of my mom. She is my best friend and I love her so much. I have learned a lot from her since moving back home and have come to appreciate who she is. We have fun together and i'm going to miss seeing her everyday. I am choked up even thinking about hugging her goodbye! I learned about my mom over the last 5+ months and am grateful for the mother she is. I cherish our conversations and the way she has been honest with me. We've gone to stores, had our weekly trip to the grocery store, worked on projects together, shared in many conversations, taken a few trips together, and enjoyed each other. It's wonderful to love my mother so much that leaving is this hard! I'm thankful for that.

I was searching for a quick verse filled with comfort during this transition time so i could say it over and over when i'm sad. There are many to choose from but I read this one and knew it would be perfect.

Psalm 139:1-6 (NIV)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

The sweetest thing about this verse is the reminder that God knows me. How he will provide in ways He knows I need. God always knows what the best for me is. So when the 'what if's' seem dark (what if Darren can't be here for our son's birth, what if Darren has to be gone again, what if I don't find a church, what if I don't make friends?) I remember they aren't from God. I know satan wants a foothold, but he doesn't have control over me, and as quickly as the what ifs come...I can seek God and lay all worries at His feet. He is going to provide because He loves me. And no matter what happens, it will be for the best if i'm trusting God. Maybe not the way I'd like things to turn out, but I trust God.
I haven't figured everything out and realize that as situations arise it will be difficult to face them but I am comforted by God's word and His presence.

I have been daydreaming about Darren's arrival and seeing him for the first time. I can't tell you how excited I am (even thinking about it makes me so happy!) to hug him and give him a kiss. To be in his arms and feel him close to me..
We are rewarded for time apart with these wonderful reunions!

I think it will be fun to hug him and have a bump in the way! But you know what I know will happen?? We're going to smile A LOT at each other because it will be unreal to be in the same room, the same car, etc! I can't wait. :) I'm totally going to be a creeper and stare at him that first night because i know i'll not be able to sleep. It will be like a little kid the night before christmas. Haha okay i will not do that but I'm telling you, it's going to be awesome to see him!
I love who my husband is and how God created him in a way that fits me perfectly.

Well it's getting late and I should be going to bed! I hope that everyone is having a great weekend, thanks again for reading and sharing in this journey with me! It is always fun to sit down and write what God's doing in my life.

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