Well it's been a crazy week. Darren has his orders to Norfolk, VA and he'll be on a ship that'll be deployed for 6 months. He will have a short amount of time after graduation, June 16 and then have to report to the ship.
I have been preparing myself for this exact situation since we moved here, but I can't explain how i feel right now. I thought i'd be able to hold it together a little better yet inside i feel all sorts of emotions. Stretching from honor, for being a Sailor's wife to complete devastation, for losing the man i have loved for the past 3 years. As Darren said last night, 'I have one life and it's short, i don't want to spend half of the year away from my wife'. Perfectly said!
I've been forcing myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. He's serving America, you and I. What an honor to be the wife of a man who has made the decision to risk his life for his country! I'm scared for a lot of things, but i'm comforted by so many right now it's incredible! I'm trying to find balance right now among all of this mad rush to get things ready for the move as well as kiss my man goodbye! I hope you will go along with me on this journey and see how God works in my heart. I remember how God worked in my heart while darren was at basic training, it was amazing!
I'm moving home to Indiana! This is the biggest joy during a deployment. I was going to stay in Norfolk alone and get planted among the community but a leader of darren suggested to Darren to have me move home. The more we thought about it, i was excited! I will have my family surrounding me, see my sister's baby born! Visit extended family, be around friends, go back to my favorite church where i adore the church family there, and also be able to get involved in church. Then financially we'll be able to save a lot of money, Darren will know i'm being taken care of and not all alone. It's good for my mental health i believe! Not that every deployment will be this way, but you know God opens doors like these for a reason.
I continue to tear up and random times since finding out about Darren leaving. There are moments i'm overwhelmed by thoughts of what will be missed like his birthday and our anniversary. Yesterday afternoon i went to the park to get some fresh air and i knew if i was in the public eye i wouldn't start bawling! I sat on the bench and called my father in law to talk to him about moving to Indiana, i realized God is surrounding me with so much love during this first deployment! He provides even when i'm not deserving.
If things change i will let you know! Please pray for my husband as he prepares for his first leave, this is all very shocking to him and overwhelming. He will not have the support of family around him, and he'll not be able to finish fantasy baseball which is devastating! lol Please laugh at that! He is great. Pray for us that our last weeks together would be filled with sweet moments to hold onto for the long months ahead of being apart. Can't wait to share with you as God works in our marriage and my life.
I love you Darren! Very proud of you