Monday, November 7, 2011

"This is confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask-we know that we have what we asked of him."
~1 John 5:14-15

Today I was silent towards God but yet he heard my thoughts and guided me through a whirlwind of events.  We have taken a little friend in for the night who is under one years old and Garrett's very closest buddy.  Having two boys that young was quite an adventure but tonight as they're sleeping i'm really thankful for the joy that filled this home today.  I'm glad to have been able to help another mom/friend and be available for her.  It's nice that God understood my silence and provided for each moment of the day, in fact blessing it when I didn't even ask.  He is wonderful in that way. 

I came down with an awful bug of some sort the other day.  Garrett and I pass germs back and forth all day and when I saw that runny nose it was only a matter of time it would come knocking at my door.  It was disappointing to miss church and small group with those sweet teenage girls but this girl needed the perfect combination of NyQuil and sleep. 

Wandering is something I love to do.  Going into a store I naturally wander down my favorite candy isle and browse.  There's a tempting thought always to buy all of my favorites but lately i've been showing self-control and missing the isle all together.  It's better that way.  Apparently this is such a good visual to the way I wander into sin and i've been realizing how God guides me with his hand to scoot on by those tempting roads that lead to nothing but destruction.  I love that he cares and is here to push me right along.  It's hard though because sometimes that road that leads to sin appears promising of better things.  Tonight I'm praising God for his commitment to lead me out of temptation and closer to himself when I ask.  

Darren and I have enjoyed this latest season in our marriage as not only husband and wife but as friends.  I am really confident that as we work through the hard stuff in our marriage it will lead us to a place we never imagined in our relationship.  Protecting our home is not always an easy thing to do but I feel like we just caught a break and are enjoying one another more then we have in so long. 
It hurt.  (Deep inside)  
"That fat won't go away no matter how hard I try."  The tears fell down my cheeks as I whispered into the dark.  He reached his hand over and said, 'don't cry, laura'.  It had been so long since I was weak in front of him.  But I've come to trust him.  
I continue.
"I am not pretty anymore.  I gained weight and only lost some and it's not coming off fast enough.  People can see."  
He assures me in a brave way and then rubs my back. 
Sometimes we need words.
More tears...because I'm loved. 
He reminds me of our son.  He tells me i'm doing a great job. 

It's as though my God is reminding me that i'm good enough, that i'm loved and to trust both of them.  
It's a journey to become healthy and it doesn't happen in a week.  
I ask God to help me.  And he has been in ways I never expected.  It's his will that I take care of this body, and he's willing to lead me.
I'm so blessed.