Saturday, February 19, 2011

(I've been writing letters to Garrett in a journal for awhile and thought it'd be fun to share one! It's a mushy gushy sort of mom thing to do so feel free to pass on this post if you're not into that  :) I will not be offended!)

Dear Garrett,
Today Daddy and I went to a childbirth class that lasted 6 hours!  As the instructor explained pushing you out would be the hardest thing I'd ever do I turned to Dad and said, 'I changed my mind, I can't do this!'. :) haha Don't you worry sweet baby of mine, I'm going to be fine! I am still very nervous but i'm trusting God will bring provide the best nurses and doctor for us.  Grandma and Daddy will be there awaiting your arrival and i'm so thankful for each of them helping me deliver you into this world.   
Tonight we finished packing the hospital bags and they're ready at the door.  :)  I can't believe that you'll be here and how close we are.  Do you remember when you were a tiny peanut? I do! Now you are fully grown and just developing those strong lungs.  We can't wait to take care of you and shower you with love.  God blessed us so much with you already and we are excited to raise you in a family that loves Him.  It's not always going to be easy and i'm probably going to make mistakes but don't ever doubt how much I love you! 
Dad is nervous but mostly excited for you to come! He did a wonderful job today learning how to coach me during the labor hours and delivery.  My favorite thing that we did was having dad lightly rub my belly.  I haven't been that relaxed in awhile! He whispered funny things into my ear that made me laugh, he's so wonderful...lets see if I still find that humorous during a labor contraction. :) He loves us both very much! I should warn you...he can't wait to watch sports with you and teach you how to play a few xbox games..don't say I didn't warn you!  I know you'll be relieved to hear his voice and we will do everything we can to make you feel safe in this new world. 
I am anxious for your arrival but treasuring all of our last moments while you're still tucked safely inside. You treated me great during my first pregnancy and I'm thankful for that!  
Your birth state is going to be Virginia but don't get to comfortable because in a few years we may be moving on! Dad is in the United States Navy and our life is going to be full of adventures and along the way we'll be meeting the greatest people.  It will be hard sometimes when he has to leave but we'll shower him with fun boxes and letters and we're going to be blessed as our attitudes stay positive. Remember that because of what Daddy does mommy can stay home and take care of you, and you'll be able to see family that lives far away during long deployments.  Dad will make every effort he can to be a part of your life, trust me!  He's soo excited for you to be here.  
Right now your Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and our friends are waiting for the news that you've arrived! I want you to know how loved you are already and how excited we all are for your life.  God has already placed people in your life that are incredible and you're one blessed baby! Don't ever forget how loved you are by God and your family.
I have been feeling harder contractions since last night and today but nothing too regular that causes me to think you'll be here in the next day.  However, if you would like to come that'd be fine with me!  I Can't wait to meet you Garrett and we love you so much!  

Friday, February 18, 2011

Getting back on the roller coaster....

Darren is home! ..and it's so wonderful to have him here again. 
Today was full..and I mean that in a bittersweet way.  As I look at the title of my blog, 'the life of a young navy wife' I feel both pride and sadness.  Throughout this journey as a navy wife there will be times I hear 'bad news' that cripples my spirits.  Today was one of those 'bad news' days....

Darren came home and I was plain old happy as can be! He was sitting on the bed and had that 'look' that something wasn't good and I knew something was coming.  He let me know that he was chosen for a c-school that would start in may and last 3 months.  It felt like someone punched me right in the gut as the tears welled up in my eyes.  Friends, I feel stretched by God this past year.  I hated having to watch my man leave for a deployment and then have another 3 week period of time away after that.  It was wonderful to imagine having him home for a 1+ year! That was like gold to this young heart.
I cried and let myself be sad because my heart ached.  (That's perfectly acceptable) If I didn't feel bad there would be something wrong with that picture. :) I love my husband very much and it's hard to be split apart for any amount of time.

We talked and figured out during the weekends he will most likely be able to come home and be with Garret and I.  It's a great thing that he was chosen to go to this school and i'm proud of him for that.  I prayed a lot today and finally came to grips with God's will and letting go of Laura's will.   I know that as God stretches me some more it's for a reason and I'm trusting Him right now.  Soo..we are getting strapped back into the roller coaster because we're headed back out for another ride.  I think it's safe to keep the harness on from here on out!
God has provided this past year in many ways and I don't doubt for one second that he'll stop.  I had to pull out my list of blessings today and be reminded of all the wonderful things the navy offers us.  This is the life of a navy wife and all around me there are wives that are hearing the 'bad news', and whatever that is we have to learn to accept it eventually and be a support for our husbands.  It's hard to get over the hump of feeling crushed but God puts people in your life who lift you up and hold you through difficult situations.  
I often have people ask me, 'laura, how do you do it? I could never be a military wife'.  I can only answer by saying I can do this because of the hope God gives me.  That he allows me to see in a perspective of a certain situation in a positive way.  I read this verse today and it brought comfort to my achy soul;

 "You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You" (Isa 26:3, NKJV).

I actually have this posted on my computer and haven't read it for awhile but after I had come to terms with what was going on and was back to smiles I came across this verse.  How awesome is that! God will bring you peace and provide strength to walk through anything when you trust Him.  I have had the sweetest day of prayer and i'm thankful for that.  I needed my Savior's comfort and the direction only He provides.  I hope that as we walk through this next chapter that God will continue to mold me and I will be able to share with you how great our God is.  It's going to be hard but I'm going to treasure the few months we have together and then the moments Darren will be home during those three months.  Garrett and I will be surrounded with friends during that time and I know we'll be blessed even more so! 
If you could pray that i'd continue to trust God that would be wonderful! Thank you friends for walking with me as I don't always know what i'm doing but i'm striving to honor God today and support Darren.

I love this picture :)  Life isn't always going to be easy but God will not abandon me..

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Savor the now!

If there was one thing that I know God is saying to my heart right now it's to savor the now.  To enjoy where I am at in life's journey right now. 
So often I am ready for the next step and eager to welcome the next chapter in, but miss out on being thankful for the small joys in the moment.  I'm sure that we all can admit to falling into this pit once or twice? I'm glad that God has revealed this to me because I have a short amount of time left in the end of my first pregnancy.  I can now soak it up and not miss out on the last kicks or the little rump that pushes my upper right abdominal to the sky! I can enjoy the last few times my baby has the hiccups and laugh as they seem to never end.  God wants us to not miss out on the small joys in life.  It's all in how we see life.  

Every now and then God forces me to step back and look at life through a new perspective. I L O V E when that happens because it changes my heart and actually brings me back to the 'Laura' that reflects Christ the most.  I have run ahead of God many times when things are easy and will forget to keep Him at the center of my heart.  There needs to be discipline while following God and i'm having a hard time with that!
I have been saved for many years but am re-learning how to pray.  Isn't that crazy? It's weird because that is the funniest thing to re-learn I told God and you'd think i've had mastered this important connection with God but no...I haven't arrived yet! When God reveals certain things to my heart where i'm wrong it can be a bittersweet thing. 
I want to recognize who I'm talking to, and trust that when I am lifting others to God that He is big enough to take care of things.  I have been keeping a prayer journal since I was young and it is always special when I run into an old one and read through and realize how God answered a prayer.  Or how He worked a miracle out in my life or a friends.  I don't ever want to lose sight of how God is faithful in responding. 

Darren comes home tomorrow and i'm beyond happy.  I told him that it feels like he's going to be gone for months and months and it's weird to think he'll be home again.  I've been able to settle into a great church family that blesses me daily.  There is a group of woman that i've come to know and I appreciate the friendly chatter throughout the day.  The days before Darren left I was having a hard time with him having to leave.  I didn't know if he'd make it back in time for our son's birth and I was thinking what am I going to do for 3 weeks, I don't even know anyone! But God heard my prayers for friends and the ones praying for me that i'd find a church family and be covered.  He also blessed my friday nights with a group of navy wives that had friday night dinners.  All of our husbands were away and we were able to get together and talk about God, our men, the navy, and other fun things.  Then God sealed the deal with sending my mom here for a couple weeks.  She's been busy helping me get meals prepared and a few last minute running around.  It's also been fun to spend time hanging out!
If I've learned something this past year it's been that God will provide.  I can't even begin to write out the many ways He has blessed me in the times I least deserved it.  I've learned that God will humble us by showing us what we are without Him.  It's hard when sin enters our heart and we choose that over God..and he lets us.  These times in my life are hard when I realize i'm wrong and God is not the center of my heart.  I hate when i'm living for me me feels awful.  In my weakest moments God shines through the strongest and i'm amazed.  It doesn't take long for me to step aside and remember where I was before I knew God. 

Well I can't wait for tomorrow! :) My sweet husband will be home and I can't wait to give him a huge hug and kiss and welcome him back home.  I miss his smile, voice, friendly compliments, and presence in our apartment.  Life is more sweet when he's in it! He's my best friend and as nice as emails can be it doesn't compare with face to face conversation. Can't wait to have my hello/goodbye kisses not be separated by weeks/months. :)
I'm very much in love with Darren and am thankful for how he encourages my daily walk with God and loves me for me. Goodnight friends!

And to leave you with a picture that makes me smile! :) 
I decided to cave in one more time and savor these last moments that I don't seem to care about my diet!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Is this belly done growing now?
38 weeks!

Before and After collage :)....

Dear belly,
you will never look the same after this but it was worth it, HE is worth it.  

My mom has arrived! It's been wonderful having her here.  Right now we're enjoying a cup of delicious cappuccino (with gingerbread marshmallows!) while relaxing.  I love the way God has worked things out this far with Garrett waiting until family will be around.  So we're waiting...for Darren to get home and then my baby boy can come anytime! I continue to tell Garrett it's warmer inside mommy than outside but I kept it a secret that today temperatures hit into the 70's!! Shhh... :)
I am tired, beyond tired as sleep isn't coming easily this past week.  It really stinks and i'm not sure if it's that I can't get comfortable, miss Darren, or have too much on my mind? Not really sure but I'm going to be kicking myself for not taking advantage of all the hours I could have been sleeping in! (I will have a hard time saying goodbye to sleeping in until 9)

Tomorrow we're going to the grocery store to stock up! I'm probably not going to have much energy to make meals after Garrett gets here but we're thinking we can make a few things ahead of time.  Did I tell you how wonderful it is having my mom here!? :) We took my dad to the airport early this morning, 4:30 and came home watched a few HGTV shows and then agreed to sleep for a little longer.  That was nice to catch up on sleep and feel rested when I woke up.  However, I can't believe how fast the energy drained out.  My mom told me carrying 20 extra pounds around with you will do that!

Darren comes home soon! I miss him when he has to be away but am also blown away with the way God provides.  I am thankful for our new church family and love the new friendships that are forming.  It's nice to walk through life alongside of others to be there for each other when life is hard or when it's blissful.  I have a group of woman that surround me now who love the Lord and are an encouragement to my daily walk with God.  I can't stress enough how much they bless me.  After life settles in with a newborn baby it will be great to start getting involved in one of the many ministries at church. It's killing me right now to not be able to jump in and start serving but for now it's not time.  Also I have been receiving tons of phone calls and texts from family and friends far away, and those connections bring a smile to my face.  To know that people are praying for me and standing by ready to hear the good news is comforting.  I love that throughout the Bible God has written in promises to us and as he provides i'm reminded that he is faithful in keeping them.  I hope that made sense!? 

Garrett decided that he didn't want to be a valentines day baby! ..and i'm okay with that but wouldn't that have been fun?  I can't wait to hold this sweet baby of mine.  I'm getting more and more excited now.  To be completely honest with you I am surprised he isn't here with all the braxton hicks contractions I have had this past week and that subtle feeling Darren won't make it.  I'm 38 weeks so I do have 2 more weeks technically and as I've been told by many that the first child is normally late.  I was prepared for him to be early and so it will take some adjusting if he decides to come late.  Please remind me that I had prayed that he would wait for Darren to be there! ...and I was not specific in my prayers ;).  God has a sense of humor i've learned! 
Alright well that's the latest at the Moore home, can't wait to share that he's arrived! 

P.S. IT WAS 70 DEGREES TODAY! wow :) Beautiful day!