Saturday, May 21, 2011

To my sweet nine that will forever have my heart...
I have loved each of you since the moment we met.

Braeden you are the last of the first four that I was aunt 'woorra' to and I cherish our close bond.  You are my sweet tooth little man that loves Jesus dearly! You remind me of the simple truth that God wants me to know always. Thank you for making me want a little boy someday! I miss you more than words can say. I will always cherish throwing you around and hearing your giggles.

Zach you are the most adventurous little man around! I have watched you grow over the years and loved being your aunt.  You are sweet to me always and always shared your toys with me.  I love listening to your stories or seeing the excitement in your eyes when I walk through the door. Thank you for loving me! I love being one of your biggest fans.  Do you remember when we had a movie night? I miss you

 My precious were the first.  I was only 10 but boy did I L O V E you! My heart melted when we were together.  You were the first I sang to and rocked to sleep.  Your heart is gold sweet girl! You are a light in the darkness, don't stop flashing that beautiful smile! I can't believe you're big enough to write letters to me now! Love you :)

You are my partner in crime dear Faith.  I have loved you for so long.  Thank you for crawling in my lap always and snuggling up to me.  I remember when you were sick for so long and I would cry because we didn't know what was wrong.  Then we almost lost you and my heart was broken with fear but I prayed and prayed for you. You always wanted to be near me and I felt the weight of how wonderful being an aunt is.  You wouldn't eat and for awhile it seemed all the conversations were centered around you eating and i'm sorry that you were actually sick.  We are grateful that with time you have been getting healthier!
Thank you for wanting to hang out with me and watch 'I love lucy' or simply sit and chat.  I have endless pictures of us being completely goofy! Thank you for the memories and I can't wait for the ones ahead. You blessed me sweet girl.

 Oh my wonderful hilarious Rory! Thank you for giving me a fair dose of belly laughs to last me a lifetime. You are a gift if i've ever known one.  Your heart is tender and it amazes me how you are learning to love those around you with such patience.  I loved living with you for one whole month and learning you.  I miss playing games or reading books.  I miss the smell of your hair while you snuggled in my lap to listen to a story.  You took me in right away as your aunt laura and it made me too happy!

Little Evie you are growing and growing each day but you're just always going to be my little Evie.  Don't lose that spunk girl because it makes you set apart from the rest in a beautiful way.  I miss playing dress up and being served 3 course meals or having tea parties. Do you remember when we painted your toenails and when we went to the park to play? I miss you little one and laying on the bed watching Cinderella over and over again.  We're miles and miles apart but I still love you deeply.
 To my grady who I love are missed by aunt L! Your smiles and giggles are engraved in my heart and bless me on the days i'm feeling down.  You are growing quickly but I will always cherish that first smile when you came to me and let me hold you. I can't wait to see where you go in this world and how you grow over the years. We may be apart but I am thinking of you often and praying that you'd know how loved you are by me!

Maeli you aren't like any other child and I love that.  You're creative and have the sweetest songs to share.  I am so thankful for being able to be your roommate for that week we visited.  I learned so much about you and we had great conversation about all sorts of things. I could have listened to you talking all night! Thank you for talking to me on the phone every now and then because it fills the gap of distance and makes me feel near again.  I wish that I could spend more Saturdays sitting in the grass watching you play soccer or seeing you learn new things.  I wish that i could steal you for a weekend. I may be states away but sweet girl you have my heart.

Logan my newest nephew! I didn't know it could be possible to love so many but you have a special place in my heart.  I will always savor the times I snuggled you and soaked in your new baby smell.  I thank God that I could be there for your birth and see my big sister become a mommy!  I have seen your grow through pictures but I haven't missed a beat dear one.  I can't wait to see you again and love on you! It won't be long now :). 

God blessed me first with 9 sweet children that make me happier than I could ever write down in words.  I hope that i'm that aunt to them that God calls me to be. I have started to pray for each of these little ones.  I miss each of them dearly but it allows me to cherish our relationships all the more!
aunt laura
 I'm here! It's around 11pm but I have an overflowing heart to share and my baby boy is fast asleep so here it goes..

We spend a lot of time together and i've come to realize how my heart simply aches with love for Garrett.

He is constantly revealing this gummy grin that cracks me up! He is happy 75% of the time but lets be real..he has fussy moments that make me want to pull my hair out! So I've come to really treasure the quiet moments in the day.  My house has been a disaster and I can't seem to catch up with the laundry! Does it ever end? Do you ever feel buried in it too? But sometimes I stop and remember this time with my son won't last forever and so I get down on his level and play for now while the dishes pile up and laundry overflows the hampers.  I eventually get around to taking care of the mess but i'm enjoying Garrett during these days that are flying by.
Darren and I have been enjoying each other so much lately.  We've been laughing a lot together and that in itself is a wonderful thing for a relationship! He has been incredible in listening to my late night thoughts or questions about things i'm reading.  He came home the other night with an incredible gift! It was a collage of a bunch of maternity pictures and then a nice picture of Garrett on the end.  It was really thoughtful and brought a huge smile to my face.  

This is hanging on my fridge...  

Seeing this each and every morning has been a blessing.  I'm reminded that i'm already accepted by God and have a purpose. I have such a fear of rejection and it at times makes me miserable. I decided to write this verse down and fight the temptation to believe the constant lies that i'm not good enough.  I recently began reading my bible (a plan to read it in one year) every day and have been amazed with how much God is revealing to me.  I am his student each day as I open His word and there are days I want to hug Him and tell Him how thankful I am for loving me when I don't deserve it at all. I came to this point where I was really hungry for God and wanting so much more of him in my life.  Well when I was reading in Matthew the other day I came across this;
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled"  Matthew 5:6

I have been richly blessed through God's word and the lives of those i've read about in the Bible so far.  I am tired of trying to prove that God exists, to myself. I think that I would have been like peter in denying I knew Christ the day he was crucified for me.  I can hardly stand to admit that but I am no different than peter was.  I am so afraid to step out in faith and be totally committed to a life of serving God because I'm afraid of being rejected.  But God says you can't have both worlds.  I guess that i'm glad he's revealing the ugly parts of me so that they can be replaced with something beautiful.  He calls me to have faith in him and although it is hard He will provide strength.  So right now we agreed I would read the Bible everyday with an open heart. I have set aside all the footnotes and am just reading God's word. 

Last night I realized July 6, 2011 will mark 17 years of being saved.  I remember to this day when I was 5 years old and asking Jesus into my heart. Then I remember sitting on my mom's bed and her asking me a few questions to see if I really had.  I don't remember much from my 5th year of life but that moment stands out to me.
Maybe motherhood makes me more serious about knowing God as I am Garrett's teacher. (proverbs 1:8) I'm thankful for my quiet time right now and even though a stay at home mom isn't the most flattering to a world that compares success with how much money you are making but I know i'm exactly where God wants me to be, and that right now my job is to teach Garrett about Jesus.  I can't wait to see Garrett grow over the years but mostly I can't wait to see God reveal himself through the years and see the man He becomes in Christ. 

I have been feeling a little more daring lately so I decided to try my hand with a few projects.  This first one I didn't get a before picture but it was a silver dish that I picked up awhile back for a few dollars and I decided to spray paint it! It turned out great :).  I'm not sure what to do with it but for now it's holding some of my jewelry.


I will post better pictures but I painted our bedroom! Oh how I love it :).  I have since picked up picture frames to really tie the loose ends of the room. It is finally the romantic harbor I've been craving.

Alright well that's all for tonight! Have a wonderful night :)