Friday, May 21, 2010

"In the morning when i rise..Give me Jesus..."
This song is close to my heart tonight.

Ever have those days that you feel everything? I call them my overly sensitive days! Let's be truthful, some of us in this world are just sensitive souls, nothing wrong with that but we need people who are, oh what's the word, more straight to it and tell it how it is. Like an amazing mother who says 'stop, breathe and listen'.

I went for a run tonight on the same trail I hiked through this past week. It was beautiful, and exhausting because through my frustrations i was running it off and my speed continued to pick up, faster and faster. Ha next thing i know i'm panting and can't breathe and realize i need to slow down! I have always found that in times i'm upset when i'm able to take a walk or sit outside it calms me down because i see God's beauty everywhere. When i was in highschool i used to sit under the stars and talk to God. I spent hours pouring out my heart to Him under the most incredible scenery. When things become unbareable and i'm all worked up it's then that God pulls me to a spot of absolute serenity and quietness in some display of His creation and immediately I'm stilled.
It's Jesus that loves me. Jennifer Knapp wrote a beautiful song that will always stick with me no matter what her lifestyle. She is talking about Jesus, and says, 'you remain'. I LOVE these words and hold them close to me, especially this past week. He remains close to me, no matter what.
I read the Bible this week without notes or reading the footnotes or cracking open a commentary, dictionary, or looking up online studies on that particular book. Nope i set that all aside and opened the book of Philippians and read what paul has to say to this particular church. In his letter which is broken into four chapters He said, "But whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ." (philippians 3:7-8)
THIS is the words i have not been able to find, but as i read them i started to cry. I am not well when i am being disobedient to Christ. I have known Christ as my savior for a long long time and there is nothing as sweet to my soul then Him. Even at his name i am smiling at the thoughts of him. I have never found a deeper joy in anything as much as i do in knowing Christ. I'm thankful for the simplicity in reading the scriptures without always studying. It's not suppose to always be such a deep thoughtful process. Sometimes it is what it is. Paul's sincerety to this church is wonderful to see as you read his words and hear him expressing how joyful he is, even though he is in chains. I wanted to share one more thing that i read about Jesus Christ that i read over and over and wanted every word to peirce my heart so i would never forget;
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord" Philippians 2:5-10

He came to save us, and in a beautiful way. It's hard to believe a God would step down from his throne for us, but He did. It's your choice to believe Jesus is the son of God, and it's a faith based belief. But when you taste the goodness of knowing Jesus, and seeing his love for you revealed daily, oh dear...there are no words. Bitterness has hardened some people's hearts, and anger has turned others away. Selfishness has stood in the way of seeking God for others, and there are many other reasons for people refusing to believe, but wether you think so or not, this is the truth, that Jesus is the only way to heaven. Atheists will call me crazy and say my beliefs are foolish and how christians are hypocrits. I have one thing to say...I serve God as a sinner saved by grace, along other's who too are sinners but God saved us offering the same to you. We are equal...just because some people follow a lot of rules doesn't make them better then you, because we all fall short. There is none that is good in the sight of God. It is ONLY because of Jesus that we can stand before God as though we never sinned at all. None of us did anything extroadanary to be given this title as 'Christian' We said a prayer and asked Christ to come into our hearts admitting we are a sinner and need a savior. Jesus did everything, we just believe and i ask you see that please. I'm sorry if you've been offended, really i am...but we that follow God are not perfect. We too need grace, and the one you need to seek out and study is Jesus, and the life he led. I am here for a reason and that reason is to share with you the greatest thing to ever happen to me. That is knowing Jesus. I don't 'sell' him by making a list of facts on reasons why you can and should believe him. Those won't win your heart over. I just ask that you at least seek him, he hears those that call out his name and open their hearts to him. I pray for you that God is able to show you the same love he shows me.
I'm a wretched sinner. There are days i break down because i am aware of the sin in my past that haunts me, but there is a soft whisper that says all has been forgiven, Jesus has paid the price and i have been washed white as snow. I can't tell you that it's a cake walk, because it's not. Every day there is a choice to be made, do i follow him or follow me today? I don't know everyone that reads my blog, mostly family and close friends but maybe there is someone that's never heard Christ loves them. Well i'd like to at least share with you that he does. Life is very short and i don't want you to miss out on the joy of knowing the Lord.


Monday, May 17, 2010

A cozy monday


Yes i fell victim to this cozy bowl chair that i wanted to get rid of. Thank you to my husband for saving it. I love it :)

I am trying new things! This ring is from target and i thought it was darling. (Target is my favorite store:))

What do you think of this fashion statement? My sister did this one time and i thought it was very cute.

My sewing machine. I decorated it a little with a cute bow.

I'm working on so many different things lately and i'm ready for a little mental break! So tonight i'm going to curl up in bed and read my Beverly Lewis book. My brain feels like mush from taking on the task of threading my sewing machine. I cut out two squares for the pillows and pinned them together, that was the fun part and things were going well until i realized i needed to get the machine set up. Lets stop and took me over an hour to thread this machine and it's not even done! :pI was doing it all wrong but am starting to figure it out little by little. I was working through the booklet and not understanding most of it and feeling very overwhelmed. Calling my momma was a good idea. She told me to relax and take a breath! It's not easy to teach sewing over the phone but she did offer some instructions that made a lot of sense. Thanks for coming through mom!
This new hobby is intimidating and already a few times i've wondered whose great idea it was to pick this up. Yet, i know the more i learn that the results of what i sew will be worth every 'oops', 'ouch', and 'oh no!'. Wanting to see the results immediately is normal, but learning is all about patience and practice.
If this new hobby isn't enough in itself, i've picked up a few books on learning how to play the guitar and piano. I was working through the guitar book tonight and already have a billion questions. Okay not that many but i'm really confused. These are a few things that will be wonderful to enjoy when i learn them but it's the process of learning that can be tedious and not so fun. Who likes to sit there with a confused look? However, when you do come to those moments the light bulb goes on it's amazing, and worth it!

This afternoon i ran to home goods after the library and found an adorable blanket for $20! (it is shabby chic cottage totally!) I love it and it's very comfy. That store is really great because there's a lot of cute things for your home that are reasonably priced. I also bought a blank lantern from pier 1 that will go perfect in our beach theme bathroom. It was only 10 dollars and hard to pass up! I'm trying to get ideas together on what to paint the little table we bought. A friend suggested white and then make it look weathered. (I'm liking that idea) Today i went to goodwill to do a little more treasure hunting and on my way to the book area i saw this adorable three quarters pink blazer that was only five dollars. It was in perfect condition! I tried it on and thankfully it fit, it's really adorable. When you find deals like that it's the best feeling.

Currently the Moore home is on high *spider* alert after a freak out in the kitchen and a spider cricket in the neighbor's home. The kitchen scene was quite funny actually and Darren was stunned by my performance. I was drinking my vanilla coke in front of the stove just enjoying the day when something dropped in front of my face and then onto the stove hood. I thought it was a moth and went to swat at it and then realized it was a spider. I jumped up and screamed and then darted into the living room where Darren was and was speechless...The spider lived, and Darren jokingly told me it probably died from my screech. Those little buggers are so scary because its a surprise every time they decide to grace me with their presence!

We find out this week where we'll be going in a month. It's hard to believe our time is almost over in the beautiful state of Maryland. I was thinking how weird it will be when we'll be going to a new state. I'm looking forward to this next chapter in the Navy career for darren and then again i'm not. No longer is it a guarantee that he'll be home every night or that i'll have him for 7 months straight. This is the beginning of deployments and hard goodbyes! Although as Darren and I talked last night i realized God is going to use the time apart to build our marriage and our individual relationship with Him. Growth is needed for all of us and thus far in my experience that time of growing has never been easy or enjoyable. It is needed though! While those periods take place I remind myself to trust God's hand and have confidence that He will see me through.
I wrote a few songs over the last two nights. It was such a fun process! I've never done that before but the words flowed straight from my heart and it was an intimate time with God. I'm living life in the best way i know how right now. For a long time i was hurting and not really knowing who I was and it was a scary time. The one thing that remained constant was Christ, even though at times i was hurting him through disobedience, he remained. There were a lot of lonely days and nights that i spent very unsure of myself. I wanted to do what was right but continued to stumble as i made bad choices. Writing a song about that time in my life and the understanding of why Christ came to die for my sin because he loved me was somewhat of the closure that i needed. We all fall short and have made choices in the past that we're ashamed of but God's grace meets us right where we fall. It's really a beautiful display of love. I wish more people knew how deeply God loves them.

Tomorrow is the final exam for English. It's going to be a final where we write a paper in class. I'm not sure that i've ever had to do that before and i'm a little nervous about not having spell checker! Lord knows i'm a terrible speller but we'll pray that i do well still. Isn't it surreal how fast life goes? Seems as if only yesterday i was walking into the education office finding out about taking classes. I think the realization of how fast life is has me treasuring these days! My life is sweeter lately and i'm happy, genuinely happy to be here and spend time with God all day. No it's not roses and butterflies everyday, because certain circumstances are bad, but i'm finding out what joy means in Christ and how to choose the right attitude.
Well i'm going to go snuggle up in bed with my book for the rest of the night. Have a wonderful night!