Wednesday, April 28, 2010

To start i'd like to say THANK YOU to those that read this! The comments on this page are open to anyone to drop a message. I love hearing back from you, it encourages me to keep writing!
Frankly, i am not a morning person. I will be a sweet woman and i wouldn't dare be rude with you but i am a mess in the morning! In my head i'm still scheming ways to manage five more minutes of sleep! This morning i happen to be waking up at 4 to drop Darren off, i had enough energy to make hot pockets though! (when food is involved that's a whole new story haha) I went back to sleep and dragged myself out of bed at 9:30 which is nothing compared to most of you but i happen to be a night owl and stay up way too late! My two friends Denise and Julie and i were going to workout again this morning. I had a ton of energy for some reason! I was on the treadmill feeling like i could run for miles and miles. Us girls had a great time and for the first time in my life i can honestly say i look forward to working out! I don't mind it, but there is something special about having two friends go with you, have conversation, laugh about goofy things, and the friendly company. What's not to love about working out!! I am thanking God for all the energy and i blame my two wonderful friends who let me be my goofy self.

Our next activity was to Bob Evans to cancel out our morning workout but fill our starving bellies! We justified it in at least three ways! haha i had a delicious turkey wrap with french fries. We enjoyed more conversation and i have to say i am loving Denise's son. (He is adorable) After lunch we headed to Target/Starbucks. We walked around for awhile in our favorite store! I knew they were good friends when they accepted me only because my love for target/Starbucks. :P I bought a couple very cute shirts and a pair of new adorable SHOES! I am not a shoe lover, i absolutely love having bare feet. (a true country girl)

I had a great time with my friends and am treasuring all the time we'll be able to spend together before the military moves us away!

Right now it is pretty late and my husband has been asleep since he came home! I have enjoyed being in his company tonight and glancing over at him occasionally. He is way too handsome! I was thinking about when i first met him and he played baseball at bethel. If he could do anything in the world it would be a professional baseball player. As for now, he lives out the dream by managing a billion fantasy baseball teams. :)


I was able to talk to my sister on the phone today and she was telling me about how my two nieces and two nephews received their letters from me and were so excited. I miss them all so much, and can't wait to be able to plan a trip to see everyone. I loved writing those letters and am anxious to hear back from them! She said they're almost done writing back. I love seeing them grow over the years but want to be closer! I think it's important to make the most out of your situation and right now i'm far away but that doesn't mean i can't be a part of their lives.

I am happy. I've been smiling a lot and feeling light on my feet. I feel like Laura :) That is a refreshing statement! Lately God and I are having serious 'attitude' talks in the beginning of the day. I can't control the circumstances but i can choose how to respond. No matter what is going on or the people around are acting, it's important to be obedient to God. I've learned that obedience yields joy! I started reading Daniel and last night i finally inched into chapter one. It takes a little bit of studying before you even open the book to get a good picture of what's going on, why this book is important, basically i want to know as much of the history as possible. (I love Studying the Bible.) Anyways, Daniel and his three friends entered the scene and after being taken away from their homeland through capture by king Nebuchadnezzar they are facing tough choices. They have moved into a culture that does not honor God. There are a few choices that they need to make as Christians that set them apart. I love how Daniel and the other three are holding onto their faith in Christ and in return God is walking with them and blessing them. He's not removing them from the circumstances, but these men are living out their faith in front of a culture that believes their foolish. I am encouraged by this chapter and i still have many more to go!

Onto other news....Darren and I have been talking about adding a new addition to our little family. That addition being a little furry friend! We are thinking a little kitten. I looked at a dozen baby kittens and wrote a few emails requesting information. Tonight i was answered and they are VERY hesitant in letting military families adopt their animals. They said because of the frequent moves and the chance an animal could not go with. I'm sad about this but am going to be understanding! People in the military have animals all the time so there must be a way around this. I'd just adore a kitten/cat and take the best care of it. I'm praying that there's a way to be able to have one!

I love Maryland, and all of the sunshine! This picture was taken a month ago at fort mchenry where the national anthem was written. Spring has been beautiful here and I've tried hard to enjoy every week of it!
Well i need to get to bed. I have a cough/sore throat/on and off fever since last night and i'm praying it clears up for this weekend because i'm having a ladies weekend! Saturday we're pampering ourselves by getting a pedicure, cooking dinner, and playing games. Then we're going to the christian bookstore to find a bible study to start weekly. I Can't wait!

Monday, April 26, 2010

A rainy monday

Good evening! it's almost Tuesday but i'm finding myself with time to write and a full heart ready to spill over.

Darren works across the base and it's too far to walk/ride a bike so we decided with our one car I'd drop him off. Three mornings of the week we wake up at 4:00 to drop him off for p.t. Thankfully i can go back to sleep ;) Well this morning i was driving back to the house (half asleep) when a radio broadcast about one of my favorite music groups, Selah came on. Todd smith and his wife Angie went through their story of their fourth little girl dying a few hours after she was born. They were told ahead of time of the complications but didn't believe in terminating their daughter. As they told their story and the couple hours their family had to spend with their little girl i started shaking my head because i knew the tears were on the way and i just didn't want to hear another one of these devastating stories that break my heart. I was about to turn the station but then the mother said something incredible. She had explained that when she found out she forced herself to say over and over that God is still the same as he was that morning. I soaked up every word of that truth! He is the same God no matter what conditions we go through in life.

Then i spent some time with a couple really great girls working out at the gym! I ran and did some strength training. I'm Looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow as well. My weight has been fluctuating since i've been married and it's driving me crazy. I love food so much and i'm not picky which is part of the problem! I was at a good weight two months ago and now i've gained some weight back and here i go again with the mindset to lose 10 pounds! :) it can be frustrating but i have to remember that although it's good to be healthy, i can't believe that if i'm a perfect weight then i'm acceptable. I'm happy to work out though, i don't mind it. It's the part where i have to watch how much i'm eating that i'm not fond with! I envy the twigs out there that can eat as much as they'd like and not gain any weight. Please have a pile of french fries for me as i cut back :)

I listened to a sermon from the church i attended throughout my high school years. The sermon was in reference to not being unequally yoked. I LOVED the way pastor A. explained the true meaning of this passage. It's talking about being yoked to God, not this world. That does not mean you shun the people in this world but that you are available and there for the friends and people God puts in your life. I've always heard those verses talking about marriage and not marrying a non-believer which makes sense, but it was good to see this passage in a new light. I was encouraged by the fact that it's to God i need to be yoked with. He's going to walk with me and remain my source of strength and joy when i choose to invite him into my heart.
I'm a sinner that's not something new, but there are certain sins that i've dealt with that as of recently i really see God pulling out of me bit by bit. Old familiar lies i believed about myself he is forcing me to hand over and allow the junk in my mind/heart to be removed. It's a painful yet cleansing process. I know this process is for His glory and that is the truth that makes it a little easier.

I sometimes wonder what my marriage will look like in ten years from now. Will I be a little more mature? Will the little things still bug me? Will i still have my days i am too hard on Darren? Since i first met Darren it has been interesting to say the least. My husband is the most interesting guy i know. He has me on my toes constantly. Right when i start thinking i've figured him out he throws me a curve ball! This past month i'd say we were going through a bit of a drought. You're going to have this when you take God out of the picture. I was so excited about the things going on and darren was not as enthusiastic about the changes as i was. I must have tried three separate conversations and all i received was a simple nod and 'uh huh'. I went to a good friend and complained and whined thinking it would make me feel better and after several conversations with her i realized, 'wow laura you are gossiping about your husband and badmouthing him over and over because he's not reacting in a way you think he should.' I believe God brought this to my attention through the words of my mother. She would always tell me to not talk bad about darren. I felt really ashamed of myself because gossiping about darren isn't going to fix the insecurities I am having.
The marriage God intended for me was built upon Himself. When i am faithfully seeking and being obedient to God my marriage is blissful and there is a true joy found between darren and I. Inside of darren are gifts that are smothered when i am trying to make him into an image of the perfect guy. This is satan's work i'm carrying out when i smother him with put downs or 'you' statements. Thankfully i have a husband who is as patient as they come. I had to apologize to him and admit i was wrong for being so hard on him. I am going to have 'top of the mountain' experiences with God and he'll listen and be excited but he may not tell me how he feels about that for three more days! This is okay :) God is teaching me all of this and more. I don't want to change my man. I see God working in his heart and he occasionally tells me very profound statements that blow me away. He loves God and i am crazy about him because of that. But i love how he loves me. Darren has given a lot for me that i forgot about. He truly does take care of me for better or worse. Trust me when i tell you he has seen the worst of me and still chose to stay. I have been praying lately that i'd be refreshing to him. A safe haven from the daily grind. If it was up to me we'd engage in soul to soul conversations all the time, but since it's not up to me...i'm learning that in reality you need time for quietness, for laughter, for small chatter, light hearted conversations, back massages, playing games side by side, being apart, and more. Marriage is complex and this relationship with Darren is a work in progress but i want you to know i am falling more in love with my husband. I am not perfect and have sinned against him but i can honestly tell you he is my best friend, the one my heart leaps for joy over. I want to run away from him sometimes because the worst thing is when he sees me fail. This is the fuel that motivates me to become a wife after God's heart so that i can love Darren the way God intended me to.
I have fallen many times into the beliefs of this world that it's all about me, and listened/believed all my statements about putting my husband down for this or that. I encourage you now, do not start bad mouthing your husband/wife because that is exactly where satan wants you to go. You take your eyes off Christ and start focusing on yourself and you will quickly find yourself in a pit. There is nothing freeing about gossiping about your marriage. It is important to pray pray pray because God knows your heart, and maybe the problem is not your husband but you. I have found this true for me. I was being selfish and expecting unfair things from him. I was wanting him to make me happy all the time by doing exactly what i wanted him to do. I think you get the point. When there's a time of frustration in your marriage it's time to go to God humbly in prayer and confess all the feelings and thoughts you are having. We need to ask God to search our hearts. It's not easy, and i will be the first to admit that but work through conflict the right way.

Darren admires me at times and shares a compliment with me when i least expect it. It happens to be perfect how that works out. He can be very unpredictable, but i love the familiar little things he does. I can't tell you how devastated i will be when he goes away for long periods of time. I am not the type of girl that sucks it up and pretends life is okay. However, I will be real and say it hurts, that i miss him. There is nothing normal about your husband leaving for six months. It's going to be okay to have days i dont want to get out of bed because i miss him that much! I married a handsome, funny, good man and every inch of me want to see him every day. I will trust in God that he'll use time of separation to build each of us up and strengthen our marriage. I will pray for strength to be a light for Christ and be there for others as a good friend. Life as a navy wife is full of unpredictable events and without God's steady hand in my life i'd be completely lost.
1 John 3
1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!
And that is what we are!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hey! I hope you had a great weekend!

I had a hard week as a navy wife. After months and months of suppressing my sadness for missing family, friends, church, Indiana, etc well this happen to be the week that i couldn't hold it in anymore. I think my husband is wonderful for listening to me vent about missing everything. I'm very homesick and feel like i've been on a vacation and need to go home now! :) It doesn't work this way! I'm very thankful for having people and places to miss though. Mostly i miss my mother though. She is the best because she tells me how it is but she always knows when i need to just be hugged so i can cry like a little girl! My mother is wonderful and i have to say i HATE phone calls with her because it makes it hurt even more. I told a friend that i've been avoiding calling my mom lately because i know i'll start to cry. My mom knows me the good and bad, and yet accepts me. I'm sure i've practically driven her crazy at times but i've never once doubted how much she loves me. I love her, she loves God and is an incredible wife and mother. No she's not perfect and she'll be the first to tell you this, but I love how authentic she is. I've seen Christ in her and he has used her MANY times in my own life. I remember my teen years there was a true struggle between us. I was a stubborn brat at times and very rude. I'm very thankful that she loved me through those years, i was hard to live with. Having a mother like her is a blessing from God. I can't wait to see her again.
My parents are two of my heroes. Their both an example of remembering to lighten up and smile! My Dad is the happiest guy i've ever known, and my mom is all of the above and more! They have a marriage that shows love and respect on both sides. I am thankful that they never walked away when life became hard, they learned each other and chose to love even knowing the other's flaws. My parents are friends! They actually like each other and you can see that.

I wanted to start off by talking about them because they gave me something that happens to be the BEST gift. Introducing me to Jesus as my savior. God chose them to be my parents and they were obedient to him. All because their parents were the same way. I have a deep adoration for my parents and grandparents. Since i was born i've been surrounded with people that are serious about God. I was given the opportunity to see Christ in people from a young age. This is a blessing if i've ever known one!
I love studying my bible and if it was up to me, i'd start bible college asap! I've been looking into liberty college for a religion degree. Oh i can't even explain how excited i was when i looked into the types of classes i'd be taking. It was like Christmas morning! The more Darren and i talk about this university we realize it may not be in our budget yet. Bummer! I am the sort of girl that listens to sermons for fun, and Sunday mornings when the message is over i am disappointed. I could listen to a good message for hours and hours and not be bored. My struggle right now is having a hunger to study the Bible but feeling as though i dont have all the tools!
Okay i will have to wrap this up seeing that it's late! How'd that happen? I'll write in the next few days because there is still so much i'd love to be able to share! Thanks for reading and spending your time catching up with my life!

P.S. I LOVE spell checker!