Thursday, October 28, 2010

Psalm 73:25-28 (New International Version)

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

My life went from soaking up the Arizona weather to being buried in paperwork and responsibility. I would like to go back a few months ago when life was sweet and simple. Just remembering it makes me envy my old self, if that even makes any sense! ha

Where do i even begin? My dad and I went to Virginia for a day to find a place for Darren and about stressful! When we had seen all the places, I was discouraged and confused to why all my months of research were leaving me with nothing. After finding out our plane had been delayed and we'd have to leave in the morning I was able to talk to my dad about the last apartments we had put a deposit on that i wasn't comfortable with. We decided to go back online or if need be to make another trip out. My dad is WONDERFUL! He was helpful through this process but did something for me that i didn't like but will thank him for later. He backed off and let me make decisions and learn. It was a great learning experience.

Here are a few things I learned:
1. If you aren't comfortable with a place, don't take it! There is a reason for the instincts, listen to them.
2. A home may look absolutely perfect on paper but that may not be the case!
3. If a spider greets you in the kitchen during a walk-through...walk away!!
4. When things don't turn out how you think they should, keep trusting God because He has a plan.
5. If I let fears and stress settle into my heart, there is no room for the joy God has to offer.
6. To find a home, renters insurance, set up our furniture to be moved, a new doctor, etc is all very overwhelming! But this experience has been filled with life lessons and soon I will become a professional and the next move will be a breeze! (I hope!)

It seems as though when I cross one thing off my list three other items are added. How does that happen? I call about renters insurance today and am told I should have car insurance in Virginia when we move here...I wanted to say no no no, please give me renters insurance and that's it. Now i need to figure out if in fact we do need to change our car insurance over. It's little things like this that have been happening in the last few weeks that make me surprised my hair is all still there because i haven't pulled all of it out yet!
I have come to appreciate military spouses that hold down the fort at home and handle business while their spouse is away. But I would like to know how you make it look so easy?

In the midst of all the phone calls and paperwork God has blessed me with good family and friends. I've been able to have a handful of good conversations with friends and have a home filled with endless support and love.
Our woman's bible study has been an encouragement and it's good for me to spend time in God's word studying it and sharing with other woman. I will miss this group of friends.
Also there is awana that is seriously a break in the week filled with laughter. There are four little girls that are at times bouncing off the walls and acting as crazy as little boys but they are the funniest. Last night we learned about praying and memorized the verse, 'lord teach us to pray'. Why do i not remember these simple verses day to day? They are treasures for our soul to dig into and I'm missing out! I think helping in awana has blessed me more than i thought it would.

My baby boy is packing quite a punch these days but I love it. Normally at night when i'm crawling into bed and about the time i'm ready to fall asleep He gets going. I love knowing he's in there and getting bigger and soon will be in my arms.
All things baby have been put on hold for the last two weeks as I've been taking care of business with our move but in the back of my mind I am thinking about him. What his name will be, how he will look, if he will be an easy going baby, all his new clothes that are piled next to my bed, and if he will see God's love in his mom? I don't care if he is not the most athletic, or the most artistic...I just want him to accept Christ as His savior and love him. A life without God is a life that's lost and for my son, I don't want that. I know the joy in Christ and I want him to know that as well. I am learning about parenting already and it's hit me the importance of how I live everyday in front of Him. How i respond, talk to others, treat Darren, etc. It won't always be easy and I'm not putting extremely high expectations on myself, no one is perfect and I'm going to be the best mom that I can.
I thought the other day about how when i sing He can hear me now and then I wondered what songs I'd rock him to sleep with. I can't wait to shower him with love and have him in my life! He is a blessing already.

The picture at the top is from this last week when Darren and I were able to skype! It was wonderful to talk with him and see his face. I miss him more and more but have come to really appreciate him. Although I've been taking care of most of our move, he has tried to be available as much as he can. I get the feeling it bothers him that he can't be here helping take care of all this with me. It won't be much longer now that we'll be together! I can't wait. :)
Did i mention that I did find a place for us to live! It is all settled now and I'm thankful we were able to do everything through email, phone, and mail. I'm looking forward to living in this place and calling it home.

Well I had better get going! I need to take care of a couple more things today but will write again soon. This Saturday is my first baby shower! I will have to post pictures and share with you after i get home. :) have a wonderful day!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Grady and Aunt Laura
Home sweet Home. :) My trip to Arizona was great! I loved spending time with family and getting a chance to see my niece Maeli and nephew Grady. My sister in law and I were also able to catch up quite a bit and I enjoyed getting to know her. Thanks you Dan and Sharon for inviting me to go with!
Melissa passed on a lot of baby boy clothes, a car seat, carrier, and other baby things! It was fun to sort through clothes and think about my baby wearing them.
Right after arriving back home my mom and I went for a 5 mile walk! It was awesome to share about my trip and hear about her week. When the time comes for me to move, it is going to be extremely hard. I love my family very much and knowing they won't be around to see my baby boy is heartbreaking.
Can i share with you one of my favorite things about being pregnant? Feeling this little guy moving around! He seems to be more awake when i'm ready to go to bed but I don't mind. I have never felt my stomach this much but i catch myself nudging, pushing, tapping to try and stir him. I still can't believe this is all happening and that in four month he will be here. I love him so much already. It's hard to explain but he is just really special to me. He is a reminder of his dad for me, that we're a family and how God is blessing us. I look at the ultra-sound pictures and can't believe how big he is now from when i first saw him as a peanut!
I feel like as we're nearing the end of this deployment i'm out of breath! I'm ready to cross the finish line and be in my husbands arms with tears pouring down my cheeks. I'm ready for that moment he walks off the ship and is home. It takes a lot of strength to walk this deployment in a way that honors God. There have been moments that i have not acted holy, but there are also moments that God has been able to shine His light through my life. It's been my prayer that he would not stop teaching or guiding me during these last few months. I remember kissing him goodbye at the airport and not truly understanding what was going on. But as we said our goodbye's a gentleman came up and thanked him and that's when i realized the larger picture, that sometimes you make sacrifices for other people...just as Christ did. That was when i was given a choice to either walk in God's light or to have pity on myself. I chose to seek God and he poured love into my heart and covered me. It won't be long now until He is home and we are setting up a crib, laughing with one another, watching movies, and driving each other crazy haha. But i'm confident that as Christ remains in our hearts he will bring so much joy into our marriage as He has been doing.
Have a wonderful Sunday night!