Tuesday, August 31, 2010

It's been another quiet day. It doesn't seem to bother me though. :)
Today I woke up and made myself breakfast potatoes and then sat quietly thinking about God and who He is. I came up with nothing new, but admired the promises He has offered to me. Like His love no matter what.
The cat has been pestering me these past few days to let her outside so we went out and i sat in the grass next to her simply enjoying the sun and laughing at her rolling around chasing butterflies. She's a wonderful cat and has been keeping me company on these quiet days.

My life has been simplified these past two months. Although there are times I long for a home of my own and more activity and friendships, I see that this time of silence is needed. I see it as a period of time that i'm allowed to rest.
Soon the sound of silence will be longed for. As well as alone time will be few and far between. So i'm learning to accept where i'm at and treasure it, to see this situation as a very fortunate one for an expecting mother.

Tonight I made dinner, shake 'n bake chicken and mashed potatoes. I love being able to spend time cooking, however the clean up is always put aside! Know what i mean? My brother and I agreed to clean the kitchen tomorrow afternoon, not that it's terribly messy but dishes don't clean themselves. After dinner my brother and I went on a 2 mile walk and had a nice time. It's nice to be able to spend time with him. He has been talking about what he wants to do after highschool since this is his senior year. It's been neat to hear his ideas and encourage him.

I watched 'I love lucy' today for about an hour. That show never ceases to crack me up. It's my favorite TV show and i have started to collect the series on DVD. I only have 4 but am thinking about treating myself to the next season :).

This afternoon i was going through my closet (i need to organize it!) and found the slide show of Darren and I's wedding. I popped it in and watched it with tears filled eyes. It was sweet to see the journey of each of us as babies then our childhood and then into the teen years and then together. The pictures were wonderful to look through but left my heart aching for Darren. I miss him so much and although we have been able to email, it does not fill that longing inside for him. Times of separation allow you to remember why you love each other.
The thought crossed my mind, why me? I finally found this man of my dreams and He will be taken away at unexpected times for long periods of times. Why did this have to happen to us? Well first response is, we chose this. :) But it runs deeper than that. We were out of option, on our last straw and this was the light at the end of the tunnel. This is the door that God stood before inviting us through. On the Journey into the military it saved our marriage and God rekindled old flames that died because of bitterness and hurt in each of us. He used an unfortunate path to bring us to Him and ultimately together walking along this life the way He intended us to be doing.
He loved us each and from ashes worked them to make the starting of a beautiful friendship and marriage. Darren and I do not have a story of two perfect people who never wronged each other. We have a story of God's grace for two sinners. Our marriage is still not perfect but i'm learning to drop false expectations and instead learn to love Darren the way God intended me to. The more time i spend with God and love him, it changes who I am and the wife i am to Darren. The wife that honors, respects, loves, helps Him.

This evening I filled out a few more pages of my pregnancy journal. It was all about the first trimester and honestly it was a happy time of realized my pregnancy has been very nice! It's been a great experience. (minus the heartburn that i'm suffering from right now :)) Today i was wearing a pair of shorts that seem to be getting tighter and tighter by the day. I am passed being sad about my body changing and now rejoicing in having to undo the top button. Although i'm in a funny stage, i feel like i ate too much and am not ready for maternity clothes yet because i don't pull of 'pregnant woman' quite yet. haha See how this is a weird stage? I bet in a month from now that will all be different! I can fit into my jeans because they were too big anyways and i had to wear a belt but it's still been way too warm to wear jeans. It's suppose to cool off however and i'm looking forward to that!
Well i should wrap this up, i'm looking forward to writing about Fall and my absolute adoration for it in my next blog :) Have a great night!

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