2. a. Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.
Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish
I was sitting outside tonight thinking about motherhood and how today was really hard.
All I wanted to do was drop my teething toddler off at a family members house and drive away for a cup of coffee and time alone.
Unfortunately all of our family lives hundreds of miles away.
I don't have an easy job.
Sometimes I down play my role as a mother because its not the most glorified job.
But it's an honorable one and requires much sacrifice and a selfless heart.
All evening I wanted to grab a book and sit outside and soak up this beautiful day without a whiny baby grabbing on my leg throwing himself on the ground.
I wanted to be selfish.
In fact at one point I lost my cool and scolded Garrett harshly because I was angry that he was getting in the way of a beautiful evening outside.
Normally he is calm and happy but teething Garrett is a very different child.
Then the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart and I felt so bad for losing my cool.
I immediately crawled down to the floor where my boy was sitting and told him how sorry mommy was and asked him to forgive me for being frustrated.
Then I reached both arms out and squeezed him tight while planting a huge kiss on his forehead.
Then we loaded that little mouth of his with more orajel and I forgot about the book and sunshine and played on the ground with him all night.
It was good to lay down what I wanted for the sake of my child.
He needed me.
Having a responsibility of care taking 24/7 is exhausting and there are moments I want to crawl into a hole when i've messed up but I see how much love my child has for me even when I mess up.
He really wants to make his momma happy and when he disappoints it breaks his heart.
I'm learning and working through the selfish side of me. I'm thankful that mothering comes natural though, that its normally easy to love and lay down my own wants out of concern for my child.
One day when he is leaving my home i'll be amazed at how time flew but for now I need to simply soak up these days, even the ones full of tears and sore mouths.
If you're a mom know that your role is special and requires much of you but it will be worth it.
The days are long but the years are shorter so treasure the moments.
I am praying for a full nights rest for my little man.
How are you praying for your own today?