Thursday, December 22, 2011

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." — Helen Keller

Sometimes I have to wonder why God allows me to walk through what seems like unnecessary junk.  Conflict, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and more.  Why can't he use that mighty hand and direct me around  those trials so I can go on my merry way?

But it is necessary.  

I wish that I had everything figured out.  I wish that I was a picture of perfection but I'm not. I'm really a messy individual but can I tell you in the midst of all my faults God's grace has never felt so wonderful. 
Am I the only one afraid of going unnoticed. of not being heard or validated?
Because sometimes God's still small voice doesn't cut it and I want more.  
I want to belong. 
to a family
a group of friends
a church
a hobby
a job

I want purpose and to be validated for the work I do.  
Feeling small hurts.
But here is what I've learned.
God needs to take me through this time of feeling small because he's going to use each experience, each hurt, and lesson to draw me closer to Him and ultimately to bring himself glory.


"A thousand times i've failed still your mercy remains'

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Earlier today, I was silently grousing about my family. How I never hear from any of my sisters except on holidays. Then, I was rewarded with the realization that our relationship is somewhat superficial, for as much as we shared bedrooms until we left home. That realization came moments after I realized that I raised my own two children to have passion, opinions, feelings, to know each other, to love or hate each other according to the moment ("hate" meaning when they still happens...sigh...). And, more importantly, I realized that "family" as I grew up to know it, was full, but not really. MY children know "full." They know it because they live it daily. We feel, we laugh, we share, we give, we love, we cry, we yell, we cook together, eat together (whenever able) and we do what we can to support each other in our endeavors, however small.

Small. I felt small for a few minutes, then I realized, the same as you did, being small isn't really such a small thing, when it's a small family that is an honest to God "FAMILY."

Hallelujah for "small!"