Wednesday, March 9, 2011

It's amazing how quickly your life can change.  How you can go from laying on the couch watching T.V., hugging your tummy and dreaming of what's to come, and then it comes..and life is never the same again.
I am sitting here and the aroma of fresh spit up covers my shirt, my hair is in the messiest ponytail i've ever seen, but i'm at peace because I look across the room and there they are, my two boys.  The two guys that have stolen my heart and are God's gift to me.  I don't take either one for granted and realize how special these days are with them.  Our tiny family is made whole because of Christ.  I honestly couldn't have made it to this day without the guidance of my savior.
Today I was given three wonderful long hours to have 'me time'.  I was able to read my bible, clean up our home, and even make my bed! Who knew i'd feel so good being able to make my bed! ha seriously it is wonderful having a neat home. 
Then I sat down and watched t.v. and went into a state of relaxation while watching Cinderella (the one with Brandy).  God allows times of rest for a reason.  I needed a break so that I could take a step back and remember how wonderful my son is and that it's important to cherish this time with him and not get too worked up about feedings or schedules.  Life is simply unpredictable right now and i'm going to have to accept that.  The sooner the better!
Our church has been bringing us meals and it is a HUGE blessing! What a nice gesture to a family with a newborn baby. I can't even explain how wonderful it is to hear a knock at the door and see a friendly face with a handful of food.  I love the short conversation with the few woman who have stopped by and being encouraged in that short period of time.  Thank you!
I have learned to eat VERY fast.  If I remember to eat at all.  For example today it was 3:00 before I realized that I hadn't eaten.  It's not that i'm not hungry but did you know it's possible to forget about lunch? In my mind there are a thousand things (maybe an exaggeration!?) running through and then I forget about eating!  So tonight I had dinner except I hardly remember tasting it because I shoveled it down. Mainly because I was hungry but also because I never know how much time i'll be given to eat.  ..and who really wants a cold meal?

My husband is amazing.  Let me tell you how much I love that man! In the mornings he saves me coffee, he fills up my water jug and leaves it on the nightstand for when I get up.  He changed Garrett's diaper before he left for work!  He tells me that i'm beautiful/sexy..oh yes men THIS is important to do after your wife gives birth!  He still holds me during the night and is doing an incredible job of taking care of Garrett and I.  It's nice to be able to say, 'hey Darren, i'm feeling really sad tonight and i'm not sure why' and for him to hug me or say it's going to be okay.  I'm thankful that he helps me take care of Garrett's physical needs too. 
This weekend Darren's parents are coming! I'm very excited right now to have them come to meet Garrett and have their help.  I almost cried from reading a note my mother in law sent about coming to help.  It was a God send for sure! To hear, 'don't worry about anything, I change diapers, we're coming to help' ah..that is music to my ears! So we can't wait for them to come and have time with their grandson.

I love how simple life is in the midst of how crazy it is.  I love the moments that Garrett is snuggling up to me, fast asleep.  I love this child and it has given me a new perspective or glimpse of how God loves His children. It's deep..deeper than how I love my son and that is deep.  Loving Garrett is a natural thing to me...from the first moment I learned that we were expecting I couldn't wait and wanted to protect this baby and shower him with kisses.  Then for 9 months I carried him around inside of me dreaming big about motherhood and loving him some more.  But then I saw him for the first time and I cried tears of joy because he was perfect and beautiful.  It was just as I'd hoped it would be when we first saw each other.  And now he is almost 2 weeks old and my love has only deepened.  There has been long nights and days, i'm sleep deprived and exhausted but I love him more than ever.  At 2 in the morning it is hard to get up to your crying child who is demanding food but he is worth fighting tiredness and I'm definitely thankful for my new life as a mother.  It gets better I keep hearing....


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yaaaaaaaaaay for family! :-)

That's all... just, "Yay for family."