Friday, February 18, 2011

Getting back on the roller coaster....

Darren is home! ..and it's so wonderful to have him here again. 
Today was full..and I mean that in a bittersweet way.  As I look at the title of my blog, 'the life of a young navy wife' I feel both pride and sadness.  Throughout this journey as a navy wife there will be times I hear 'bad news' that cripples my spirits.  Today was one of those 'bad news' days....

Darren came home and I was plain old happy as can be! He was sitting on the bed and had that 'look' that something wasn't good and I knew something was coming.  He let me know that he was chosen for a c-school that would start in may and last 3 months.  It felt like someone punched me right in the gut as the tears welled up in my eyes.  Friends, I feel stretched by God this past year.  I hated having to watch my man leave for a deployment and then have another 3 week period of time away after that.  It was wonderful to imagine having him home for a 1+ year! That was like gold to this young heart.
I cried and let myself be sad because my heart ached.  (That's perfectly acceptable) If I didn't feel bad there would be something wrong with that picture. :) I love my husband very much and it's hard to be split apart for any amount of time.

We talked and figured out during the weekends he will most likely be able to come home and be with Garret and I.  It's a great thing that he was chosen to go to this school and i'm proud of him for that.  I prayed a lot today and finally came to grips with God's will and letting go of Laura's will.   I know that as God stretches me some more it's for a reason and I'm trusting Him right now.  Soo..we are getting strapped back into the roller coaster because we're headed back out for another ride.  I think it's safe to keep the harness on from here on out!
God has provided this past year in many ways and I don't doubt for one second that he'll stop.  I had to pull out my list of blessings today and be reminded of all the wonderful things the navy offers us.  This is the life of a navy wife and all around me there are wives that are hearing the 'bad news', and whatever that is we have to learn to accept it eventually and be a support for our husbands.  It's hard to get over the hump of feeling crushed but God puts people in your life who lift you up and hold you through difficult situations.  
I often have people ask me, 'laura, how do you do it? I could never be a military wife'.  I can only answer by saying I can do this because of the hope God gives me.  That he allows me to see in a perspective of a certain situation in a positive way.  I read this verse today and it brought comfort to my achy soul;

 "You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You" (Isa 26:3, NKJV).

I actually have this posted on my computer and haven't read it for awhile but after I had come to terms with what was going on and was back to smiles I came across this verse.  How awesome is that! God will bring you peace and provide strength to walk through anything when you trust Him.  I have had the sweetest day of prayer and i'm thankful for that.  I needed my Savior's comfort and the direction only He provides.  I hope that as we walk through this next chapter that God will continue to mold me and I will be able to share with you how great our God is.  It's going to be hard but I'm going to treasure the few months we have together and then the moments Darren will be home during those three months.  Garrett and I will be surrounded with friends during that time and I know we'll be blessed even more so! 
If you could pray that i'd continue to trust God that would be wonderful! Thank you friends for walking with me as I don't always know what i'm doing but i'm striving to honor God today and support Darren.

I love this picture :)  Life isn't always going to be easy but God will not abandon me..


Anonymous said...

God has certainly been present with you throughout the entire time, hasn't He? As a woman who was married for almost 11 years, with a husband who came home every night, and as a woman who is no longer married to that man, I can tell you honestly, that you are in a far better marriage than I could have hoped for. My ex-husband would be home, but never "present." I had God in my life, but we definitely did not remember to invite Him into our marriage. It wasn't until only a few years ago that my ex decided to invite Christ into his heart! While we were married, we had two kids, but we were not partners.

Make no mistake: you are not at all whining!!! You are being a loving, very pregnant mommy and wife who had hopes that your husband would be home during this next phase of your married lives - as parents. As the recipients of one of God's own, young Garrett, to care for him and nurture him into his toddler years. I would have been a mess and a half had I been in your shoes at your age - and heard that news. (Seriously...I was THE poster child for "Whiney Woman" when I was much younger! LOL!)

You and Darren are blessed to be in a community of military people - friends, worshipers and Navy wives - who are going to encourage you when you need it, and they will become your closest advisers when Garrett goes through what infants go through. Those week days will fly by. So, of course, will those weekends. BUT - as you already know, God will bless you, and keep you both in His care until you are able to be together again. You, dear Laura, are uncommonly strong for a younger woman. I admire your continuing insistence on keeping to the word of God. Not many people of your generation stay as close to His Word as you have done. As I said before, Garrett is one lucky little man to have you and Darren to look up to. :-)

Sometimes with the disappointments come greater blessings.

Sometimes, with the stretching God presses upon us, come growth that really feels good.

And most of all, absence makes the heart grow not just fonder, but stronger as well.

Hugs to you both! Enjoy the homecoming!!


Kara Amstutz said...

I love you, Laura! You are a constant encouragement to me! I rest easy knowing you are trusting God every step of the way!