Friday, March 9, 2012

[Afternoon Tea]

The rain has been steady this morning making it impossible to get outside for a run with the little guy.
He's down for a nap and i'm at the table enjoying pomegranate green tea.

Do you ever have a conversation that sticks with you?  It's hard to shake the contents of what was a simple sentence. 
"This budget is showing oneness in your marriage"
"I never thought we would ever be at this point.  For years..but God.."
{Tears fall}

For the beginning of my marriage it was a very empty place.  I saw it as what can this marriage do for me?  God's authority was not welcome in our home.  We did not attend church, spend time in His word, and hardly a prayer was whispered in the walls of our home.
We were as different as night and day. 
I showed little to no respect for my husband.

We are now in a season rich with love for the other.
I am blown away by how God has blessed us.

I pour myself out to God and tell him no more of me, but to fill my heart with more of Him.  He didn't give me a list of things to do.
No, he scooted me ever so closely and asked if I'd join him daily and listen to him, spend time with him.
I did and day after day as I emptied, the holy spirit was no longer quenched in me.
I desired to be a blessing to Darren.
When he came home from work I wanted this home to be a safe haven. 
I didn't look back but chose to learn and move forward.

He goes to work so that I can stay at home with our son.
That right there is enough for me to love him to pieces!
I clean with a smile, I make his dinner with thanks, because this is where God intended me to home raising our son.
I get to see all of the firsts.  I am blessed to not be a working mother that leaves early in the morning comes home to make dinner, help with homework, put the kids to bed only to have seen them for a few hours.  You have to understand that the sacrifices we make are worth it.  I don't want a big home, fancy clothes, if that means I can't see my Garrett.
(Note that some circumstances make this impossible, i totally get this!)
So right there..Darren has given me enough.  He has shown me love by allowing me to be a stay at home mother.

Darren and I don't work without God. 
We are as different as they come.  My marriage working is a testimony that God is good and does perform miracles still today. 
If i'm not walking with the Lord then everything is off.
I'm short tempered, not kind, self-seeking, and a mess.

Where are you today in your own marriage? Are you just barely getting through? Can you honestly not stand the person that lays beside you at night? 
When was the last time you reached out and put Him before you?
No marriage is perfect but God intended our christian marriages to be a place full of joy and a testimony of His love for the church.
I don't tell you this from a place of perfection in my marriage.  We have a long road ahead of us but I know what it's like to be on the brink of divorce.  I know that lie that satan tells that it will bring freedom.
It doesn't.
Inviting God to come close and change your heart so that you can love your spouse..
Well now THAT brings freedom. 
I stood before God and a room full of people vowing to Darren i'd love him no matter what.
I want to be true to my promises and do whatever it takes.
The biggest gift Darren and I can give to our son is to love each other well i'm learning.

I'm thinking about you today and praying for your homes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sweet Laura, you are such a gifted blogger. I so enjoy getting a chance to peek at your blog when I have a moment! Tonight as I was reading, Audrey came out to make sure she would get to listen to the song you have playing when she was done eating her dinner :) So I guess that makes two of us that enjoy your blog! Thank you for sharing your heart with us! ~Koelle