Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I didn't know what being a mom was fully going to entail.  Knowing that I loved him with all my heart was a good start.  I didn't know the type of responsibility being a mother was but thankfully God knew.  He also knew I was ready and with a little encouragement and love from Him through the people around me I would thrive. 
Each day Garrett hears a story from his new story bible.  We learned about Noah this morning and how he obeyed God and how we should obey God too. Sharing God with him in these stories has been really special.  He doesn't understand yet but I cherish being the one to teach him about the one that loves him more than I ever could. One day we will find his first bible and may the pages be well worn and read over. 
A godly parent requires more than opening up a children's story bible and saying a short prayer with your child.  It is living a life that shines Christ and reflects the very attitude of The King.  Which means taking time yourself to dig into God's word and having a daily relationship with him that includes talking with Him.  It's not easy to follow God because as I've learned it takes discipline and I happen to be lazy and self-centered. Thankfully, He is patient, loving, and always forgiving. 

During this pregnancy I was overjoyed to become a mom and meet my son.  Somewhere along the way I lost that God given joy as it was replaced with endless worries.  Our culture has an opinion about everything of course and they don't shy away from throwing in advice about how you parent.  There is two sides to every issue and each side has a pretty good argument.  It almost reminds me of is incredible how a person can become so heated over whether or not you should put your child on a schedule, if they should use a pacifier, and many more small issues on the right way to take care of your child.  It's not my desire to mess up because I want the best for Garrett.  But i'm ..slowly..learning
here is a few things
1.Garrett is going to cry because he is a baby.  It's okay if he cries! It doesn't mean I'm a bad mom, sometimes it means he has gas and in time he'll feel better.  Sometimes he is too tired and needs to be bundled up and 'shushed'. 
2.Garrett isn't going to die if I stretch his feedings out to 2-3 hours.  He was eating for 5-10 min every hour and that is no way to live. I will never want to leave the house with a situation like that.  So we stretched him and you know what..he ate longer and slept longer.  Which meant I SLEPT! :) meaning this is one happy mommy!
3.Sometimes I'm going to have to do what my gut instinct says because God created me as a woman..and he created woman to be moms with an instinct to know their child.  Each day I learn him more and more and it's incredible to start to just know what is up with him. 
4. I don't get a schedule at the beginning of the day stating when he will sleep or eat or how long each will be.  I have accepted that finally and am more at peace now and am able to be a better mom. 
5.It's going to be hard sometimes.  But God is going to provide family and friends with direction, encouragement, and reassurance.
6.I have one incredible teammate in my husband.  Who changes diapers, helps me give G a bath, comes home and wants to hold his son, talks about how cute he is, and who is caring deeply for me too. I know my body changed but the guy has made me feel more beautiful now than before.  I confessed feeling awful about my body and he said he doesn't see the stretch marks, he only sees Garrett.  He loves me and it's not shallow becuase he isn't like that.  I was blessed with a good man who has a great heart. 
Being a mom is the most incredible thing and I'm in love with my baby.  He makes me happy with his sweet toothless grins and desire to snuggle right now.  Who knows if I'm using the right products or techniques, but thank God that we don't have to learn to love our child! I won't ever pick up my phone and type in anything related to 'how do you love your child'.  but my days for googling all other baby things has only just begun.  God is showing loads of grace during this time and patiently waiting for me to see that worrying isn't helping.  Thank you lord for knowing me and letting me have sweet wake up calls! I'm blessed to have Garrett and Darren.

Exhale**That was said in one breath pretty much :) I wonder if my grammar and punctuation errors are worse than normal these days because there's no time to go back and review!  Maybe one day if I put together a book you'll be pleasantly surprised to read my perfect sentences. :)
Thank you for reading my ramblings on motherhood today, I still owe you the birth story! Maybe tomorrow?


Anonymous said...

PLEASE don't edit your posts! They are endearing, sweet and awesomely perfect in their own completely honest way. If you change anything, ESPECIALLY your "writing in one breath," I don't think we'll feel the authenticity of your words as deeply, ya know? Little boo-boos and all, it feels right, just the way it is!

That being said, I always look forward to your blog postings because I see you growing as a parent each time you write. Remember just about 5-6 weeks ago, you knew you loved Garrett, but were a little anxious about what to do once he arrived? Guess what! God provided and look at you now, Mom! Your posts show how much you've grown...we who read "feel" how much you and Darren have grown into parenthood - imperfections and all. :-)

I especially love the fact that you are reading bible stories to him already. I wish I'd been a much stronger Christian when my children were born, I would have done the same. However, I will attest to the fact that keeping your child(ren) close to God will bring them up to being much better, stronger, healthier adults, regardless of their relationship with Christ as adults. We didn't become a "churched family" until after the divorce and we moved back home to New Carlisle. Turns out, it was definitely not too late. :-)

You keep to your many good and healthy observations on motherhood/ parenthood. Don't let ANYONE try to convince you that you might be doing something wrong. You know your son better than anyone except God, and you have a mother's instinct firmly in place. Trust it.

Enjoy your evening, Mom!


Anonymous said...

Laura you amaze me as a wife as a mom and just as a woman. I am blessed that i had a chance to get to know you even a little and now have the opportunity to read your blogs. You are right on about life as a mom and her instincts to her child and everyone else's opinion. You are off to a great start(sounds corny, hope you know what i mean. lol) I am tired so im gonna stop typing before my words get all jumbled. Thank you for your writings. They are encouraging and inspiring and i love your honesty! -Marla