Whether it's one month or seven months it's still hard to say goodbye. There's no getting around the fact that time apart from the guy you love stinks! I've been telling others and myself that Darren is only leaving for about a month and it's not that bad. Yet when it comes down to facing the days and hours ahead without him, I'm not feeling brave.
The importance of my attitude in this time apart is key to supporting Darren. He needs to see that although I will miss him, that I'm supportive of his job. After he comes home we are going to have a lot of time together and focusing on that has helped.
I was told it's perfectly acceptable to crawl up in my heavenly father's lap when I need to be comforted. As much as I feel God's hand pressing and molding me he has always allowed me to come before him and say, 'hey this hurts and I don't want to go through it, but for whatever reason you've called me here I want to glorify you through it but I need to rest'. We're going to face situations that seem like the worst case scenario for our lives but I've come to learn God has a plan and purpose for each of us. I want to focus on serving God and preparing for motherhood during this time.
Speaking of motherhood...here are two pictures from Sunday...I hit 35 weeks! Wow! Where is the time going?
I'm going to miss this pregnant belly and the sweet moments this pregnancy has drawn in. I will never forget the morning at my sisters when I woke up before everyone else and took that test. That small plus sign changed my life and as I stood staring down in disbelief I prayed, 'God, is this really happening!?' I was thrilled, and I quickly woke Darren up to tell him.
That first appointment they did an ultra sound and he looked like a peanut hanging there. A few weeks after Darren left I noticed some spotting and decided to call and they had me come in right away to see what was going on. I prayed that God would protect my baby and let him be okay but that if not he would provide me with the strength to walk through a miscarriage. Hearing the doctor say everything was fine as we listened to his heartbeat and even saw it made me tear up and I praised God! As I was walking out the nurse stopped me and told me that I handled that all so well. I know it's because of Christ...
I have been able to share this pregnancy with family and friends making it a great experience!
I love looking at the 'growing belly' pictures and thinking back over the last 8 months, it's been an adventure!
Last night I was organizing the nursery by putting books and teensy toys away which led me to acknowledge how happy I am. I'm ready for this friends...the crazy sleepless nights go right along with it but I'm ready to love on our baby boy. I don't know what the months ahead will look like for sure, but I do trust that God will provide. He has always been faithful and as I walk into motherhood I am at perfect peace knowing Christ is leading me.
And last but certainly not least, we started going to a new church and love it! The people are wonderful and I'm looking forward to the friendships we'll make there. This past Sunday we started a lesson in our Sunday school class on marriage. We're both thankful that God answered a prayer by blessing us with a new church family.
Here's to one more night with my sweetheart! I am going to miss him so much again, please pray that his cruise goes well. Thanks!