Friday, November 12, 2010

My first pregnancy meltdown

WELL It's here the first day that i feel pregnant...and it also happens to be the first day a woman noticed I was pregnant and said something. Finally at week 25 :).
I am having the weirdest first pregnancy meltdown though! Is it okay if I share with you? I've loved being pregnant and have felt incredible! Normally I'm feeling joyful and ready to welcome this baby into the world. However, today that is not the case! I am emotional.
I actually googled 'why do pregnant woman feel emotional'....oh yes i did. There is list of medical responses as well as practical to why a pregnant woman would feel bad every now and then. I already know that my body is going through change and that my hormones are wacky but it seemed wrong to feel this way.

So I went to God and was reminded of this verse:

Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

I LOVE this verse because it describes my Lord...He is actually explaining how he is inside. Gentle and humble..that is comforting.
It's incredibly to go before God and breakdown while confessing fears and discomfort.
Today I was on my feet all day and my back is killing me, something i've dealt with but this is really uncomfortable! I am not feeling very attractive which stinks and haven't been able to work out as much as I'd like. I'm STARVING all the time and have to fight cravings all the time. I am still working on wrapping up things with our move and new home. I am getting ready to say goodbye to family and friends which is really hard! Darren is unsure whether he'll be around for the birth of this baby, and I'm not sure where to have the baby. There are a list of things demanding my attention and i'm tired! I was writing out the list of food i'll need when I go grocery shopping while trying to figure out how to decorate the nursery. BREATHE! :) It's adding up, see?
My husband is gone..completely clueless to what's building up inside me because this is when i need him to hold me and tell me it's going to be fine but he's not here. Right now there's not much he can do since he's pretty busy.
This was dragging me down all day and I felt terrible for letting worrying steal the peace and joy that's become constant. It was really nice to go before God and share all this and be reminded of who he is and find comfort in that. I'm not perfect and am learning a lot these days! I'm thankful for how patient Christ is with me and how he's willing to meet me where i'm at and walk me out of darkness.

:) I am feeling MUCH better this evening. About the time I finished praying my baby boy starting wiggling and shifting around. I sure do love him! I can't imagine how much my life will change when he comes but i'm truly excited to meet him. I loved watching my belly bouncing and being kicked tonight and am treasuring our time together.

Tomorrow we're going to be baking and preparing food for my baby shower on Sunday! I'm looking forward to spending time with church friends and family. These ladies each have been an encouragement to my walk with God and i've loved that they're walking with me through this pregnancy now. Well I should wrap this up because sleep sounds pretty good about now! Thank you for walking with me through life and letting me share how God is working in my heart!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

1) You are a BEAUTIFUL pregnant woman!
2) You have a heart of gold Laura!
3) It's ok to be emotional, God created us with our emotions and gives us wisdom to work through them.
4) You're love for God and passion for life has always been motivating. I apsire to be like you someday. <3