Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Isn't this beautiful? I love driving down a winding country road as the sun shines through the trees and makes for one amazing display! Since sin entered this world things changed, but there is still beauty all around in God's creation. I'm really thankful for that because it is a chance to recognize God's craftmanship.
I hope we aren't too busy to stop and soak up a breathtaking view, if you let your heart be still even a cornfield that goes on for miles and miles will seem like something special. In Psalm 19:1-4 David says, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour fourth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." There is evidence all around the world and universe of God's existence through His creation. He is being revealed through His handiwork and everyone knows about God because Nature proclaims His existence.
I would be absurd to think this all came to be by chance. I see in Nature that something great designed this and had a plan. Then i have the Bible, that is God's word that explains Salvation. What a bonus! Through the scriptures, God is revealed and my questions are answered. I see my purpose and reason for being here. I have assurance in this book how it has been preserved over time and the fact that it is God breathed. In 2 Peter 19-21 Simon Peter an apostle of Jesus says, "And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to the light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had it origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit."
I am confident in studying His word as it changes my heart and has a power to shine light in the darkest places.
I have been having the sweetest past few days! Soaking up God's word and love for me and learning a lot. Life is sweeter when you are walking with God obediently.
I'm not sure wether i am weepy because i'm pregnant or because God is melting away the cold inside my heart? Either way as i read the scripture and spend time chatting with God i am changing. I want to give more of myself so that I can have more room for God. I was reading a devotional and came across this prayer from a woman named Betty Scott Stam who was a martyr for Christ.

"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever"

What a prayer! This was written when she was 18, i couldn't help but tear up as i read about how her husband and her had been beheaded in China. She gave up her wants and desires and plans for God's will. I was humbled by her faith and willingness to surrender to God, and it stirred in my heart the desire to do the same.

Yesturday my friend (and her cute baby!) and I went for a long walk around town. It was really nice to do something healthy and be able to have a good talk about all sorts of fun things. Isn't it nice to have friends to walk with through life? I was sad by the thought that there are so many friends that will come and go but all i know is i'm grateful for them being in my life because they're a blessing. We need other woman to encourage, love, and teach us as we make this journey. I realize more and more the importance of friends.
I am REALLY excited because tomorrow my mom and I are going to wisconsin for a few days. We're staying with my grandparents and as i've mentioned before, I love being there! I have to credit God for really covering me with His love through family and friends. I was afraid i would sink into depression or something because Darren is gone, but you know what? I am doing good! I feel this time is much needed. I'm learning a lot and my marriage is being strengthened even though there's distance. There was a lot going on in my heart that was getting out of control and i was trying to keep it under the rug but that never really works. I'm forcing myself to take care of the ugly and bad through surrenduring to Christ. I have had to fight at some moments to choose to be obedient. I am amazed by the struggle inside to want to do bad. Inside there is this struggle to do what i want because i want to even if it ends up hurting someone, wether it's something i do or say. I'm a sinner, and a pretty bad one! The more time i spend thinking about my choices, well it is more easy to seek to do what God wants me to do. I don't want to dissapoint Him, or hurt my husband, or anyone else. I have never become more aware of consequences then now. Although it's painful to look back over some horrible things i've done, it causes me to never want to go through that again. Even though i was doing all the things i thought would fill me up, i was completely empty. I was looking to meet my needs, my way...but i intentionally passed up Christ because that meant i had come face to face with sin committed. But honestly, I missed God's love and forgot his love for me is not based on what i have done, He can look at me and offer me this relationship because of Christ's death. Everyday this is something i have to talk myself through because i feel so undeserving. I'm really excited to share about what God's doing in my heart in hopes maybe you'll be able to see how God's is able to meet you, no matter where you've been or what you've done. He is a good God and deserves all our praise.


Josh said...

What great sentiments! You get right to the heart of the matter. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love that sweet and honest heart of yours, Laura. You and Darren are going to be amazing parents to one very VERY loved and lucky child.

Something I read once hit home with me, several years after having my kids, and shortly after my divorce from their father. It was a reminder that our children are "on loan" to us. That they are not "ours," but His. They are placed in our care for a time, but our task and responsibility is to help and guide them realizing they are His, too. I really appreciated hearing that message, and it helped me to become a MUCH more responsible parent.

Hugs to you, young Mom-to-be. :-)
Gail B