Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hi! I hope you had a wonderful week :)
Well i'm just going to jump in and start writing...
In John 14:23-26 Jesus says to his disciples, '..If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. he who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the father who sent me. all this i have spoken while still with you. but the counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything i have said to you. Peace I leave with you, my peace i give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I love this scripture, because it holds such deep truth and comfort for believers. We can rest assured knowing God has given us His spirit. Now just stop and think about this for a minute with me. Each of us has a spirit, the part where our inner most thoughts are. I like to think of it as the secret part of us.
God has given us HIS SPIRIT, the secret part of Him! How great a gift...
God didn't only give us the ultimate gift, (Jesus' death on the Cross) He also blessed our hearts with Himself. What does his spirit even do? According to John 14:15 the Holy Spirit-God's spirit is The Counselor and the spirit of truth. His spirit is given to those who accept Him, and from that point on He is transforming that believer to be like Him.
As i study the Bible i am being transformed with new ideas and challenges. I am so imperfect and desperate for a Savior!
I just started my first in depth Bible study in the book of Esther. I have never picked apart a book of the Bible this way before. This week i was absorbed in the teachings of this book. God is NEVER mentioned in the entire book, but His hand in the story is so evident. What a our lives God plays the main role and sometimes we don't even realize.
My next thought is this; So much of my life i spent as a christian because of what God did. I went to church, stayed happy, read my bible on occasion, prayed here and there, i knew people looked up to me and i felt pretty good about myself. Something was missing though, there was this huge ache and longing for something more, and this bothered me beyond belief!
Soon i began to kind of sit comfortably where i was, the confusion was too much to deal with so i let my heart go. Please don't give in ever dear friend! The pain after sin is so much greater then the pain of a confused heart! Marriage didn't satisfy the void i felt and i began to pity myself in the pit i slipped into. It was in a grocery store cafe when i realized my life was pitiful and depressing. I was so ruined and lost. I knew that no one would ever look at me the way i was as something wonderful. I could have cried my eyes out right there!
A few events occured that encouraged me to get out of my pit, and fast! I started hearing God's voice loud and clear and i was stunned. He started revealing Himself in ways only a humbled person would hear. I got down on my knees and let Him speak truth into my broken heart.
I found this new truth, My faith was based on what God did, but it needed to be on Who He Was! I jumped into the Bible and began studying who He was, i began praying to Him. My thoughts were consumed with thoughts of Jesus. His death on the cross became more real to me. I cried out to him from the deepest part of my heart repenting. I had wronged Him in more ways then i'd like to admit.
I was never able to love well because i didn't know what love was. Oh beloved friend! His love is unconditional. I failed Him horribly and he should have cast me away, but He didn't, He pulled me out of my pit and showed me love. The Bible is filled with stories where someone deserved the worst, but God kept loving.
"I'm waiting, waiting on you lord, and i am hopeful, i'm waiting on you lord though it is painful, but patiently i will wait. and i will move ahead bold and confident taking every step in obedience...while i'm waiting" This song by john waller paints the picture where i believe many of us need to be.
It is a true test of our faithfulness to God when satan takes a blow to our knees. I'd say i've had my fair share of those! We have to be willing to look to God's face still. We live in an evil world but having a hope in Christ makes a huge difference. This love for God is incredible but it's not enough for me, i need others to know what God is offering them. I need you to realize this God isn't for neat perfect people, he is for messy people like me.
Thank you for letting me share with you! I know that was a little crazy and random but i hope it made some sense! have a great saturday :)

No comments: