This melody has filled our walls this evening,
'I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back, the world behind me the cross before me..la la da da'
I hope they don't mind my singing but no one has protested at this point!
Sometimes when your soul wells up you have to let out a hallelujah, right?!
Why that particular song? Well I like that in Christ I can choose to put the world behind me..i can put all of my past sin behind me...I can live freely from condemnation..only in Christ.
And it's only by Christ that I can know God in an intimate relationship. Not anything I can do.
Lets go deeper.
Tears were spilling over the rims of my eyes as I tried to type out words that God was sharing with me.
'laura, don't you miss this stuff it's important!' I thought
I was listening to a testimony by Kay Arthur. I wanted to remember her words but mostly God's word that she had willingly shared.
"Sin will cost you more then you ever intended to pay and take you further then you ever wanted to stray"
"Though your sins be a scarlet, you shall be as white as snow"
Word after word of truth came pouring forth sweet as honey and hands shook as fingers tapped away at the keys. I wanted to catch all of God's truth because his word acts like a healing balm that this girl needed.
My past crippled me because I couldn't change it and thought i was defined by it.
Choices made have consequences and it breaks my heart. For years I have held onto the past, hanging those sins around my neck like the woman who wore the Scarlet letter around hers.
I left it there. I wasn't good enough and so I ate for comfort, I felt sorry, I tried to mask hurt, but deep within the bondage was unbearable.
How could a christian who claimed to love the Lord feel this way often?
What was missing, I would cry out to God with clenched fists. Where was he so long ago..why did he let me make a mess!? I demanded answers then and I must have looked pitiful.
But oh how He loves..and he already had a plan to bring me back...to a life full to the brim with freedom.
Kay Arthur also talked about how Sin angers God. Whether it's done to us or by us and I find comfort in knowing that. He hates it. And when we chose to disobey him we became separated from him.
He however had a way mapped out for us. You may have heard this before..but listen..really listen,
He sent Jesus, his son to be our redeemer.
We were going to die and be separated from Christ for all of eternity. That was our penalty.
I stopped there.
I sinned and hung that Scarlet letter around the neck walking around in shame for years.
Have you ever been there? It hurts, right? Living life defeated is an awful way to live.
People start running to anything that will comfort that emptiness and try to heal themselves..alcohol, affairs, drugs, pornography, relationships, entertainment, money, you get the point.
We hurt when we don't know the rest of the story.
So lets go deeper.
The lord who heals calls us into a relationship with Him. Through the Bible (his word) we discover the rest of this beautiful story. We all heard about it this past Easter i'm sure. The story of Jesus' death and resurrection.
He comes to you and I and smiles at us..he must shake his head as he speaks 'I came that you would have life, in abundance' (John 10:10) Then he reaches and pulls that sin we've been carrying around our necks and points to the cross. His yoke is easy he says and burden light. He draws us near with more words...
"I am Jesus Christ, your kinsman-redeemer" (Ruth 3).
Have you forgotten?
Do you feel that?
It is the sweetest thing. He lifted that sign from around this neck as I bowed low. He will do it for you too.
Tears dropped onto my hand and shirt as I received the rest of the story into my heart.
The part about Grace, love, and joy..unspeakable joy.
This time it wasn't a glimpse of him only to end by the next afternoon, but a filling and desire to live out life fully following Him, knowing him.
No looking back because my sin is behind me, The cross is before me so there's no turning back..for I have decided to follow Jesus.
I will continue to fill these four walls with that melody as long as God gives me the voice to.
I will definitely update you on our most recent change very soon! But know that we are doing really good, and prayers were answered.
Until next time, know i'm praying for you!