Monday, September 13, 2010


I'm so thankful for a place to come and share what's going on in my world and have friends and family that read. Thank you! I'm going to start with some fun stuff first. :)
My sister stayed for the weekend and brought my two week old nephew Logan. Saturday morning she let me hold him and we snuggled for a long time. Do you know how good it felt to hold that boy and think how God was going to bless me with a baby too! I didn't want to let him go and couldn't stop looking at him. I think it's funny that a little lump can fill your heart that much! Newborns don't do much you know, they sleep, eat, go to the bathroom, and cry. But I loved every second holding Logan. (He was perfect)

Sunday I watched the colts game and the packer game. The Colts game didn't go well at all, and the packer game wasn't looking any better. But thankfully the packers won :). I actually watched football all day, which is a first for me. Watching football is not on my top ten fun things to do for a day, but it's growing on me. I love having a few players that you can cheer for who are actually good men. It makes it easier to watch having a few fantasy teams too. ;)

Throughout each day in some way God reveals himself. It isn't always obvious, but He does make Himself known to me. My mind can easily wrap itself around things related to God, and the many things related to Him. It comes easily filling my day with thoughts of Him. However, there is huge a difference between thinking about God and following God. I have decided to follow Jesus. Do you know what that meant when i chose that? Well it looks like this: God crushing my stubborn will and molding me into a beautiful child of His. It's hard though, every day it means choosing to come under His instructions to love Him, and love others. It means picking up the Bible and digging it apart understanding it's message to me and how as a christian i should be living. It's hard! As i heard, we are either being molded by this world or by God. You choose.
We live in a world where each person seems to find a system of what 'truths' and 'laws' they will follow. Selfishly we arrange these morals and thoughts to fit our agenda and selfish desires. But following God means dropping what I believe is right or wrong and accepting through God's word (the bible)what is the ultimate law. I T I S H A R D. Did you get that? I read throughout the Bible of the men who with their lives said 'God, I am yours'. They were persecuted, they were killed! They were looked at like they were crazy. I haven't even begun to know the stories of these men and woman in the Bible, but that's where I'm at. Studying their lives has introduced me to what God is asking me to do. It is a sacrafice but when you truly understand what Christ gave, it becomes easier to surrender a life that He bought with His blood.

I am not afraid of losing my life, because through Christ i was given a new life. But following God with your whole heart means walking a road with very few. That is something I dread. Jesus is asking constantly to keep looking at Him, to continue to trust Him. I'm not disappointed in the choice to follow God.

When i am walking with God and He is molding me, it's a joyful experience when all the crushing and pressing is done. He has always been faithful to me. I've never read a word in the Bible that has caused me to turn away from God.

I am growing and learning and inside there is new pains and aches for people developing that are hard for me to deal with. It's a mix between love and wanting to care for people, and anger for people ignoring God and choosing to put God on the back burner. I'm upset for those people that don't believe in God, that are blinded or have hard hearts about God. But i am starting to love people deeply and ache for them to know God so they can walk freely, and not in the bondage of sin. Why do i want this? Because it's what God had given me when i least deserved it...when i had my back to Him sprinting in the other direction.

I'm about to enter a chapter in life that will change me. It already has! :) Being a mother full time and trying to balance a relationship with my husband. Dealing with the emotions that come along with pregnancy is not simple! There are some days i feel cut out for this calling (yes it's a calling to be a mother) and there are other days i ask God if He was sure about this? He is though, and He's here leading me. What makes a good mom? A mom that is selfless i believe. Who puts her children before her. I know this is what God asks of a mom. I'm not scared of not loving my children, i'm afraid of being selfish though. There will be times when as a mother i will get a break and believe me those times will be glorious! However, the demands that will soon be coming my way can either be answered with complaining and griping and spreading the word 'poor me!' OR these demands can be viewed through the eyes of God. My mom chose her children above herself all the time. She chose to say no to daycare and raise us herself from early in the morning to late at night. Do you know how blessed I am to have a mom that was always there for me? Seriously she was up for late night talks when i was a teenager, and knew when i needed to be corrected or when I needed a hug so i could sob. She knew her kids because she spent TIME with us. And you know what? She still had a life apart from us. She wasn't identified as only a mother. My mom is my role model especially when it comes to mothering. She raised her children to love Jesus and she hardly needed to say much because she lived a life in front of us that was full of Christ.

In whatever I do i am given the opportunity to serve God and bring Him glory. I'm going to have days or moments that I fail at this, however it's going to be my desire to choose to honor God as a mother. To not complain will be hard, but God rewards us for making good choices. I understand that to be a good mother means that i need Jesus in my life, because if i'm not full and complete, then how can i offer what my children need? I can't. The same goes for my marriage. Choosing Christ as your center rearranges a person's life but it's worth it!

There is an enemy that wants to destroy my marriage/family, my relationships, my relationship with God, and kill my soul. But there is a God who offers me hope to walk this path and gives me the strength to do so.

whew! that was some heavy stuff! I really hope everything came across in the way i meant it. If you're offended i'm sorry! But this is the tough love God's been dishing out to me all last week and I think it's important stuff especially for moms of little ones. They're looking up to you and loving you so much.

1 comment:

Then There Were Three... said...

HI there. Thanks for your sweet comments! Congrats to you and your husband on your first bundle that's growing :):) How exciting!!! What an amazing adventure you are embarking on! Hope you are feeling well!