just breathe...

Hello!

Hope you had a wonderful day! It was another beautiful day here. I could get used to this weather, but now as i'm writing we're having a thunderstorm. :) (i love those too).

What's with the title you're thinking? Well my blood pressure has only recently come down from boiling hot a few hours ago. I haven't felt put down for my faith for awhile until class today. It became obvious that who i am, and what i believe is silly...and only an opinion at that. Also that it is inevitable that our world is changing and i need to accept that. I sat in class fuming about our world and the sin in it. I bit my tongue to keep from sharing anymore of my beliefs. I remembered how C.S. Lewis talked about debating, that it's a waste of your time because the other person has different standards of truth. I keep going over our talk in class and wondering if i could have said something more intelligent to persuade people's views. But then i come to the conclusion, it's sin, and our world is what it is because of that. Who wants to be told what they're doing is wrong? We are always trying to justify sin, it's been that way since the beginning of time.

I have been doing a lot of studying lately. Not for school, but about The Bible. I'm going through two books, 'The case for Christ' by Lee strobel, and 'Evidence that demands a verdict' by Josh McDowell. I've learned a lot so far, and am thankful for more knowledge on the book that i treasure. On the side of that i've been studying song of Solomon which i am loving. It is written in form of poetry (a song) and is a really great love story. Although i have a list of questions that won't be answered i'm realizing i need to focus on the main point of the story. :) The more i dig and find new things i only want to know more. I'm hungry for God and when i'm reading His word it is the closest i get to Him. I can read the things Jesus said, and smile because i think he is fantastic.
Today i had to find the passage that talks about when Jesus went into the temple (in Jerusalem) and turned tables over and was angry for these people misusing God's temple, making it into a marketplace.(John 2:13-16) Seeing Jesus get angry about the misuse of God's temple made me smile, and feel better. I'm comforted with the understanding that Jesus faced situations where people pushed the envelope. He did not turn his head away and let it go on. He said NO WAY! and rode these people out. Just because the world says one thing does not mean i need to as a christian accept it.

I want to share a story with you that broke my heart. I was looking through a blog yesterday by a young woman who is a wife, mother, and loves God very much. I can't re-tell the story the best but i'll try. i do want to share the link to her blog in case you'd like to read it yourself;http://carpentersandkids.blogspot.com/ it's the entry from feb 6.
Her husband and her had their third child, a little boy who seemed to be very healthy. When he was three months old they found him one day in his crib not breathing. As she retold the moments in that day i began to cry. She was honest and her emotions were raw. Her beautiful little boy is gone and i can't understand why. I read one more entry of hers that was when he would have been 6 months old. Her words broke me..she still is looking to God, though she faces unthinkable pain everyday. I cried because of how inspiring her faith was to me. I wish i could make my words sound better make this story touch your life as much as it did mine. I prayed yesterday and cried out to God. I questioned through tears why this beautiful mother who LOVED her little boy was now not going to be able to see him turn one, or go through life. She would give anything for just five more minutes with him, but there are so many mothers dying for five days without their children. (i do realize kids can be quite overwhelming and when i'm a mother i'll most likely have my moments i think this!) You just don't realize how fragile life is. I asked, why do horrible things happen to such good hearted people? I don't know this woman, but what broke my heart was that tragedy can happen to anyone. Even myself, and i asked would my faith still be strong like hers? Would i still praise God through a loss like hers? I'm inspired by her faith and was reminded that God is sovereign.

This weekend i'm excited to have my husband home. I was talking today to a friend over lunch and began talking about Darren and without thinking spurted out how he was my best friend and i loved seeing God work in his life. These words made my heart leap with joy. God is working each day in our hearts, and i'm constantly amazed by where we are standing today compared to a year ago. He has started a bible study for the other students at the school he's going to. This morning was his first one and no one showed up. I was still extremely proud of Him for giving the opportunity at an EARLY hour in the morning. He is seeking answers to hard questions and i'm thankful that he's choosing to strive towards God instead of throwing in the towel and walking away. Darren is a strong guy with a huge heart. People see him as very quiet but when you spend time with him you learn really quick how much he likes to make people laugh. (i love this about him because i love laughing) Darren doesn't show much emotion on his face but I'm learning to read him better and better. This excites me! Marriage is hard, but I'm glad we are jumping over huge hurtles together. He is becoming a fine leader and husband.
Last night we talked about how in two months the possibility of us being separated for months and months. I told him i wanted to treasure all of these moments together. I'm going to miss him when he has to leave, and deployments are something i'm dreading with all my heart. I want to make sure i do not make him feel bad for going because it's not his fault. I'm trying to balance being strong and being sad about the inevitable. Secretly i keep praying for a way around so long of separations. For example i hope if he gets onto a ship that they've already been out for 3 months so he will only have 3 months left. Things like that :).
Well I'm going to wrap this up. I hope you have a good weekend, I'll try to write again!
-Laura

Today was absolutely beautiful. Sunny with tempertures in the upper 80's. I feel like we had two weeks of spring and now it's summer! I'm not complaining though :).

Each day that passes i realize how blessed i am. Today my neighbor came over and we sat and drank coffee and talked about life. We laughed so hard together and then the conversation turned to our relationships with the Lord. I can't tell you how exciting it was to meet her! She is a beautiful person and very funny! I'd say genuine would be the word that describes her best. We're both bummed by the fact that we'll both be moving away from each other in two months.


Tonight i had a really great time with Darren. He came home with a surprise for me. He's a mass communication specialist, which means in the navy he takes pictures and writes stories. He did a photo story on me! (It was really special) Then we spent the rest of the night hanging out watching american idol and talking but something sticks out most is that we laughed tonight. I LOVE laughing it's the best. I know God is bringing us closer together because i can tell you in the first year we were married we didn't laugh...there was little joy. We still drive each other nuts but there's a friendship growing these days. I'm crazy about darren and love the growth in our marriage, it really is beautiful if you know where we came from. God has blessed us with each other and i love Him more and more.
I didn't respect Darren when we were first married. I nagged and was VERY stubborn, pretty sure i had no clue what i was doing. Marriage is tough, and i'm not claiming to have it figured out by any means. I've just learned how important Darren is to me, and i don't want to hurt him. I want to be refreshing in his eyes. We have to make a choice to love our spouse and put them first. It isn't easy because there are days i want it to be all about me! It's tempting to be selfish but Jesus instructs us to consider others better than ourselves.
Darren is my best friend and takes care of me very well. We're learning each other better and that's really neat to me. He is the perfect fit for a girl like me. He loves God, is sharming, funny, strong, PATIENT!, and caring. I'm very happy to be his wife, and love the testimony of God's love and grace shown in our marriage. I'm sorry if that was all over the place! i have so much to say about my husband haha

Well it's getting late and i should get to bed :) have a great day!

A New Haircut

Hey!
This morning i woke up with a fever and sore throat so i didn't make it to DC with EJ and Sharon. But i think they had fun seeing the cherry blossoms with the girls. We went a week ago and to see them just starting to bloom and it was pretty. After sleeping most of the morning, i decided it would be good to get moving around. I went running (bad idea! it didn't help me feel better ha) Then i went to get my hair cut. It turned out very nice according to my Husband. I love having my hair styled in a way He loves!

We had Easter dinner at our home. We had ham, potatoes, corn, and cake! It was the first dinner i've hosted and i think it went very well. We did the ham in the crockpot and it tasted delicous! The night before my mother in law and i boiled eggs and dyed them. I spilled blue dye all over the kitchen, opps! We went to baltimore last saturday and saw fort mchenry, the inner harbor, and had a really great dinner. It was nice to wander around in no rush, just enjoying the beautiful day with family.

I've been missing my family a lot lately. My parents are the best. (i'm always talking about them, and i'm sure my husband gets tired of hearing, 'well my day this, or my dad that') Good thing He loves my parents though! My older sister Nicole is married with four kids. I hate being this far away from them. It's hard to not be around as they grow up. Then my brother Anthony is away at seminary. We talk on the phone here and there. He's a great influence on my relationship with God and he always lets me express my excitement about God without thinking i'm annoying! He'll just say, 'I know! isn't He great!' something like that. It is encouraging. Then my big sister melissa who is married and PREGNANT. Oh i miss her because she's getting a baby belly and i can't even see it. THEN last but not least...My little brother Tim. He is hillarious, i'm serious. Whenever i see that guy we pick up where we left off. I miss him sooo much. He's one of my best friends. It sucks not being able to see him. He thinks that he's all tough but i call Him whimpy until he puts me in a headlock! We have a great relationship because he goofs around with me and is one of the people that makes me laugh so hard that my stomach and cheeks hurt! Then we can be completely serious talking about school, life, and God. My family is incredible, and a blessing from God. That's why i miss them so much, because they each mean a lot to me and i hate being away from them for long periods of time.

Well i've started studying Song of Solomon. It's been really interesting this far. I'm trying to weave my way through all the speculation of this or that, and get the main point of why solomon wrote it. I will say i'm learning a lot from this study. Maybe i will have some time to share on here. Okay i'm going to get to bed, but i hope everyone had a nice easter!
laura

Hi Everyone! I hope you're having a GREAT day! It's a beautiful spring day in Maryland. I happen to love this weekend mostly because everyone is stirring up conversations about Our Risen Lord.
I don't have a lot of time because my mother in law is in town and we're heading out soon but i wanted to let you all know what's been happening.

I've been cracking myself up over a tree. In our front yard we have this tree that may be a cherry blossom kind of tree. Anyways it's beautiful and i feel so blessed to be able to look out my kitchen window and behold it's beauty. Things like this make me happy, because I think God had something to do with it. All along the town homes here no one else has a tree like this, BUT we do and i can't stop smiling and thanking God for it. It's something extremely simple to some, but to me it's a gift. It was just a dead looking tree all winter buried in snow, i hardly noticed it, but now it is adorable!
I am so excited about God, last night i was trying to tell Darren about what He is teaching me in the Bible and about the message i listened to by Chuck swindol. OH BOY do i love my man, he sat and listened (smiling and probably laughing inside) as i practically bounced around. I ended with, 'I just love Jesus so much!'. He is a gift because he challenges me to grow. I was praying last night and finally came to the conclusion that I'm speechless so i soaked up God's presence. Ever have that happen? I have to believe God was laughing at me last night. This excitement is a result of Obedience to Him. The more i study His word, i mean really get to know the books of the Bible (and it's history) i learn more about Him. This God of the Universe restored me and simply amazes me. There is a lot of things I'm being introduced to about His character and love that leaves me speechless. That's a perfect place to be in. As i prayed last night just thought that i could come into the very presence of Him made me realize how incredible this God is...that HE would want to hear from me and have me serve Him. I am not good, but because of Jesus I'm made new and can stand boldly as a new creature, born again. I LOVE it. It's awesome that no matter who you are, what you've done, that the He calls you to Himself.

My mother in law came in yesterday and we have already had such a great time together. We've solved all the worlds problems and shared in deep conversation about God. What a blessing to know when i have children they will have two grandma's that love God and have servant's hearts. I prayed for my children would have what i did growing up, and God answered that prayer. My grandmas are amazing woman, i am blessed with them. I have been writing letters back and forth with my one grandma while the other one we keep up on facebook! How funny is that.
Okay I'm losing focus :) i wanted to say we are going to Baltimore today to show Sharon around. We meant to leave earlier but my husband slept in after a long week, and her and i got to talking. We woman sure do know how to talk, and time flies when it's meaningful.
Tomorrow we're going to have Easter dinner at our home and have a small Easter egg hunt for my two nieces. I almost gave away that there is no Easter bunny when i told Rory i was going to hide the eggs in really hard places! ooppps! I forgot about the Easter bunny haha. We made a smooth recovery however. (phew) We are going to church tomorrow on base, we have no clue what to expect but we're excited to go.

Well i have to get going, but have a wonderful Easter!
-Laura

Hello friends!

I hope you had a great day! What have you been doing for fun lately? Are you excited for spring this year? Personally, i love the beauty of new life.

Spring is a reflection of my life right now as God tends to my heart planting seeds that will grow beautifully for Him one day. As He shines His light into the darkest places in my heart i am struggling and feeling the pain but am thankful! Going through a healing process is a lot like spring. It starts out ugly and dead, then rain comes and it feels very dreary all the time, but life starts to show on the trees and the plants. Sometimes more rain is nesscesary but thankfully there is also times of abundant sunshine! At the end of spring we are all blessed with gorgeous scenery everywhere.
I am truely humbled by the love God has for us, and can't help but get really excited about Him! Today I finished studying the book of Hosea. I loved and hated this book because it taught me truth and sometimes hearing the truth makes you uncomfortable! I'm going to share my favorite verse of this book...happened to be the last one :) Hosea 14:9 "...The ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them." I LOVED ending this study with that verse! Often we want to fit God into part of our lives only when it's conveinent for us, and we only want the sweet side of God. The more i study the Bible the more i learn of His character. He may be loving, but He is very just and as i saw the punishment given to Isreal for not repenting and coming back to God after worshipping other idols...well he allowed Assyria to take them back into slavery. He did end up restoring Israel but it was after great loss. I am unfaithful and sin as well, there are serious consequences but God does restore...it's a painful ordeal when we sin against God and others. I'm really learned the importance of Obedience to God, and honestly i WANT to more and more as i discover truth about God. I'd encourage you to dig into this book of the Bible too.

Today i had coffee with my friend and we had a great time catching up before our english class. I went to class then went home and cleaned the kitchen. As i sang my heart out to God i scrubbed the stovetop. I cherish those tender moments between God and I like that. I love that no matter where i'm at we can be together, i look forward to the day when we are face to face...i can't even explain the emotion that goes with saying that. It was a great day and i even finished writing my paper for class.
Now i'm ending the day with American Idol, this is the second season we've watched and i really enjoy listening to the music! People are so talented and i love being able to be a part of hearing them share their gifts. My mother in law comes this friday and we're all very excited to see her! It will be wonderful having time with her. Alright! I better get going, i could keep writing forever but it's time to wrap things up. Have a great day tomorrow!!
-laura

knowing you Jesus..Knowing you...

I love that picture taken in Annapolis. We had a great time together the other weekend when we went down there. I'm a homebody and find it a blessing that my husband is ready to get me out to, 'see the world'. It's great how where one leaves off the other one picks up. If it's alright i'm going to share a little about Serving God and what He means to me.

Christ is the absolute best thing to ever happen to me. I say that with tears in my eyes and a huge smile. Recently the greatest thing happened. To put it simply the reason of Christ's death became very near and dear to me. My eyes were opened to sin in my life that caused me to realize i'm just not good. All my efforts to be 'a good person' to be acceptable before God are foolish thinking! There is nothing i can do to be clean before God. All that i had been taught my whole life about God's love and reason for sending Jesus to be a sacrafice made sense. It rooted in my heart finally after years and years. Isn't that amazing? How patient God is with me is incredible. I cried and cried when i realized Christ took my place, that He loves me so dearly, and stands by my side proclaiming to God, 'This is laura! She is clean now!' His death made me white as snow, if that is not something to be joyful about then i'm not sure what is. I have trusted in God since a young age and walked with Him longing to know more always. It has been absolutely the greatest experience to see truth of God come together in my life. To have a life that shows the fingerprints of God all over it.
Where do you go from there? Well every single day is a new oppertunity to serve God. It's a choice to be obedient to Him though. I find it helpful to remind myself this isn't about me and it never has been. There have been over a billion people that walked this earth and i like them wont be remembered when my quick life ends. I want God to be able to shine His light through me each day i'm given. I'm excited about God, and my ears have always perked up at the name of Jesus because I love Him and want to know more. I have the greatest relationship offered to me and i'd be a fool to pass on that.
Trusting in God means getting over yourself, and i don't believe people are always ready to do that. I listened to a fenomanal sermon tonight by the pastor of my old church. He was talking about a fog being over this world and gave reference to a passage in 2 corinthians 4:4 "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God". (Paul is writing to a church here refering to satan putting a layer of fog in people's minds) I believe with every inch of my being that God is real and the Bible is His word, that He sent Christ to be the sacrafice for all of us so that we could spend eternity with Him. It's NOT easy following Christ in a world that is blinded to the one true God. But my eyes are fixed on Jesus, because i know it's Heaven that i'm called to.

Thank you for letting my share! It's great to share how Great my God is. I should probably get going but are we ready for another week!? I hope it's a good one for you :)
-laura

Am i really here?

Hi!

Okay all day I've been asking myself, 'am i really here'? My sister in law and her husband, two girls, and I spent the day in D.C. We've made multiple trips down but each time we find ourselves feeling like the whole experience is surreal. You know what i mean? Being in the nations capital flying kites as if it's in your own backyard. How strange is that?
Aside from those thoughts, i was filled with smiles being out with family today! We walked around by the cherry blossom trees (a gift from japan i learned!) and enjoyed some good conversation. It's always great to spend a day laughing! I owe all thanks to a two and four year old. They are wonderful and full of goofy sayings and funny 'matter of fact' phrases. But my favorite thing today was when i was told i would be missed tomorrow! :)
I am perfectly content with just my husband and I but a part of me looks forward to children someday. It will be quite an adventure! I watch parents all the time to try to pick up on the good and bad, don't we all? A parent has such a tough job and i have the utmost respect for all those mommies out there who have little hands pulling on them, begging for their attention all day. Who says that's not a job!! It's the most important one in my opinion.
Sometimes there are days I'm tired of being brave and pretending it's okay. In regards to my husband being in the navy. I try not to pity myself too much and really have been all excitement, but oh boy this week that was not the case. I'm a little ashamed to admit i had a HUGE 'poor Laura' pity party! I am over it now BUT let me tell you it happened. I cried and thought why? I'm suppose to be married to a man that works 9-5, we live in the country, with a few children, i am organized, we sit down every night to a yummy home cooked meal, the sun sets as i read a book and he reads the newspaper, and i fall asleep in his arms and it's P E R F E C T. Oh common i know some of you are laughing...! even i am a little. My life is certainly not like this. I wake up early in the morning to drive my husband to work then i come home and try to fall back asleep but end up laying there thinking of all i need to get done. I am hardly organized! Home cooked meals are difficult when my man is not home a lot, and there is NO country living. My man does not read, but i try to read here and there. He is not his own, there's a big guy that tells him where he's going to go and when. (okay maybe he's not big, but whoever 'he' is I'm not sure if i like him) When we go to bed my husband sprawls out and leaves me a tiny space to sleep like a stick. What happened to my romantic dream! ;)
Okay Okay, it's not my perfect world, but I'm thinking the life i have is more realistic and better. My husband loves me and has decided to serve His country. (that's honorable and brave!) He does hold me and thank me for yummy meals and desserts! We laugh with each other and enjoy going through life together. When he is gone I GET THE WHOLE BED to myself :) (you'd think i sprawl out but no...i line the pillows alongside of me) He's my perfect fit but we're still learning how we fit together.
It's not all smiles for me when i consider the downsides of the Navy. BUT I'm being reminded to keep my eyes on Christ because he's going to take me through each hard moment as well as the great ones. I felt sorry for myself because I don't always get first place, and have to be a really good follower. Lets face it, sometimes we stop and sit down and feel bad for ourselves but that's when we take our eyes off Christ. Is it really so bad? There are amazing blessings in my life, and i should be thankful for each moment with my husband! I should be proud of the man he is for serving his country and taking care of me. Well i think you get the point :)
It's not always going to be easy but there are always 10 blessings i can remember for the next time i want to feel sorry for myself.

I hope you had a great weekend!