I glance out the window and see it jetting out of the ground.  Leaping up I startle the little guy. Where has that old camera gone to now? Guess my cell phone camera will do this time.  

*Click*

There..I got it. As I admire it my heavenly father is remembering his promise.   It feels special to know what he is thinking. He won't flood the world again, no matter how bad things get.   

Genesis 9:8-17

The Message (MSG)

 ^8-11 Then God spoke to Noah and his sons: "I'm setting up my covenant with you including your children who will come after you, along with everything alive around you—birds, farm animals, wild animals—that came out of the ship with you. I'm setting up my covenant with you that never again will everything living be destroyed by floodwaters; no, never again will a flood destroy the Earth."
 ^12-16 God continued, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I'm putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."
 ¹⁷ And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant that I've set up between me and everything living on the Earth."




Thank you Lord for this sweet reminder.  Thank you for setting your rainbow in the sky and making it beautiful for all to see.

~*~

Today was especially fun because this baby played in his room after mommy organized it! He seemed to enjoy playing with the toys in his basket and reading books.  He is push-up crawling..can you picture that? It's pretty excited to watch him move but my husband and I have both been getting a workout as we get up and down quite often to chase him. What will it be like when he is walking?  

I hope you are having a good weekend. 

My evening has been full :) running at the gym, playing the game speed with Darren, and now being his teammate for a madden tournament. Yeah the last one is out of pure love for him. ;) 

He is teaching in the midst of my discontentment.

Tired eyes scroll down a long list of real estate postings.  "There has to be something for us".  Sticker shock begins to settle in but we try to adjust our high hopes to fit into any home in our budget. I can see them shaking their heads in disapproval.  I can even understand when they say, 'What will you do when the military moves you?', 'It's a big financial commitment', 'That's probably not the wisest decision'.  

We look at each other after spotting a dream home and both get giddy with excitement.  A Yard!? A garage!? How many rooms? whoa!.  We smile and talk about what it would be like to have a home.  My husband is confident and determined.  I admire his profile while he talks.  Are we really dreaming of our future together again? I smile as I remember a previous conversation the other day. We sat quietly in the car, 'We've only been married three years and all of these things have happened, we still hopefully have like 47!, cool'. He doesn't talk much which drives me out of my sweet loving mind! Returning to the search I tell him it would be so nice to own a home. 

But we're living on one income that down on paper doesn't look like much.  I know in my heart we can't buy a home.  I know God isn't leading us in that direction today.  

Eyes shut tight, head drops to my hands slowly. "Lord, i want a place on a wall to mark my children's growth.  I want to be in the same place for more then two years.  I want my own home.  To paint, remodel, and make it our own.  I want room for people to gather and grow."  

I still dream...

I reach for that small bible that has become like a good friend.  Hands extend quickly when spotted.  Flipping through the noisy pages I find his words.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress my God, in whom I trust." (psalm 91:1-2 emphasis mine)

Leaning back I am nothing but thankful for the reminder that He is my home.  He has heard my words and cares.  I browse around my home now and am reminded he lead us here a year ago.  That it's actually a beautiful place to call home.

She adores.

~*~

He's looking out the window, banging on it in excitement. He smiles. My heart is grateful.  I fill his silence with silly noises that make him giggle.  Our days written out don't look like much accomplished, but we're happily growing together.  Mother tales can seem boring to the reader but spend an afternoon with an adoring child and you'll want to tell everyone what they did that made your day.  Watching a child discover the world is a gift from above.  I love treating him like royalty each day we've had together.  

She runs.

~*~

Setting goals and seeing progress is amazing.  It's a reminder that hard work pays off and to keep going! My legs are growing stronger through what seems to be endless minutes of running, but it feels great!

She learns.

~*~

To never be proud.  Aren't we all one step away from falling into sin? But here's what I've decided.  When things are a mess, Let it be, surrender your rights to God, then commit every moment to following Him.  Dust off that old book and discover Him again.  Be in awe by the simple things like how he thinks your worth being kept. (Isaiah 41:9-10)

She's forgiven.

~*~

Kneeling down before God when necessary is freeing.  Accepting His forgiveness and fleeing from anything that's causing sin can actually be hard though.  Selfishness is deeply rooted in me and it'll take time to dig out those roots and allow them to be replaced with beautiful things only God gives.

She gives thanks.

~*~

For my husband, my son, my home, family, friends, fall, health, freedom, 22 years, for this blog, and for His grace that extends daily.

She prays

~*~

In knew ways. Without ceasing and it continues on into the late hours of the night like two old friends catching up. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) She lifts up hurting friends to Him, asks for guidance and help to overcome what appears to be mountains.  Gives praise and thanks more then ever before.

She worships

~*~

Eyes closed, sitting down, she lifts her hand symbolizing surrender to her King.  A song plays, 'Sovereign king, reign in me' and she sings to him hoping it will be a sweet sound in his ears.

She writes

~*~

To encourage

"The enemy pursues me, 

he crushes me to the ground;

he makes me dwell in darkness

like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me;

my heart within me is dismayed."

Psalm 143:3-4

"Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? 

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and portion forever."

Psalm 73:23-26

I had one of those days where my heart was open and raw for all to see.  I've never treasured this book more before this day.  I recently said there is no manual to help you steer through the uncertain and often painful parts of Marriage and I was wrong.  This book is filled with encouragement. After a rough couple days I was encouraged to spend time in God's word through bible study, listening to sermons, and talking.  I sat down tonight and went to insight.org and listened to Charles swindols latest series.  This is how I know God works..It was on the Book of Hosea.  I didn't realize that's where i'd end up but I realized how important faithfulness in marriage is. Of course you're thinking, but look around how many marriages are crumbling.  I was challenged to remember my vows.  What did I even agree to on that day anyways?  It was such a blur of excitement and I missed the key to that day as I promised to love and to cherish this man until the day I die, no matter what.  These vows I said were loaded and I didn't realize how hard it was going to get with the man standing in front of me.
It is embarrassing and the most painful thing to call up a close one and say, 'Things aren't going well'.  I have been so tired of satan in our homes destroying them, one family after the next. What happened to being faithful?  Well tonight I was given a visual of a prophet named Hosea who was an incredible example of God's faithfulness to his people.  Hosea took a woman from a culture of harlots and married her along with having three children.  She left him though and went into a life of prostitution.  She just left him and her children..how can you do that? Where did her conscience go? But God commanded Hosea to buy her back and love her.  As mr. swindol says, 'God commands him to love her, he is a model of God's infinite love for a nation who despised him.'  Hosea modeled the message of God's faithfulness.  That is what God expects of those married.
What about when my needs aren't being met Lord?
You remain faithful. pray, seek the counsel of others, get down on your knees and lift your spouse to God.  cling to scripture and have faith God will work things out.  Don't be proud and try to handle it on your own.  Satan is on a mission to destroy our homes and it's important to guard our hearts against the things of this world.
Sometimes i'm sick because of my own selfishness.  We talk ourselves into a place we never should be.  That is what happened to Eve in the garden.  All satan did was place a thought..and she did the rest.

I once sat across the table with a good friend and we laughed about a few dating books that did us no favors. It was a real eye opener to how much I expect from my husband.  And let me tell you that some of these expectations were down right impossible for him to ever reach.  We humans fail each other.  Marriages aren't excused from that statement.  We fail each other.  And in my marriage there has not always been room for grace.  What about yours? It's hard.  And anyone who makes their marriage look picture perfect is fooling you.  I can tell you people that have been married for 25 years have stories to tell you about how hard it has been.  True intimacy, friendship, and love takes God and time in a marriage.  And some of us aren't willing to wait and fight through the moments that seem unbearable.  But do..because I look at my parents and see something rare and beautiful.  Two people that are walking through life together, best friends.  I see my grandparents who have experienced life together with children, grandchildren, testing of their faith, death, and they're a picture of grace. They aren't just roommates, they LOVE each other.  I'm not sugar coating this..it's what I was raised around and it's been a blessing.
I don't want to make my marriage out to be something awful but I'd be lying to you if I didn't tell you how hard it is.  We are going through tough times and need people to come alongside of us because satan is coming way too close for comfort.  Last night I looked at my husband and said, 'I want God to use our marriage one day as a testimony of His grace and love.'  I meant that with all my heart.  So tonight i'm praying to love my husband in a deeper way that comes only from God.

I think we are going to have to make tough choices coming up in these next weeks and i'd rather stay with the familiar because I hate change but we need to follow God's best for us.
A year ago life was simpler and I was walking through life at the tallest mountains.  Right now i'm walking through valleys but am grateful to God for walking me through with the help of family and close friends.  This is part of life i'm afraid to say, but lessons are being learned and I need this.

On a lighter note..:) I have a cold! The kind that progresses through the day and knocks you out in the evenings.  I've dug out the Kleenex and tea which are comforting to this very congested girl! So it's time to go lay down and get some rest.  Darren is out with the guys from church and his choice food to bring was mcdonalds french fries :).

Talk to you again real soon! Thank you for sticking with me.  I know this wasn't the most cheerful post!
love,
Laura

i'm here, i'm here! i'm sorry for not being all here with my blog.  I wish that I could fill you in on every detail that's been going on but sometimes there are some things best kept in.  Whenever i'm going through something I tend to stay away from my blog because I have the problem of 'over-sharing' Please understand! It's for the best :) But i'm glad to be writing tonight and settling back into my place here. 

This is my boy. He is an INCREDIBLE little boy who each day reminds me how to enjoy the simple things in life.  Right now we play peek-a-boo a lot. The greatest part is how it never gets old to him, but eventually i'm too tired from popping up and down from behind the couch.  I love to kiss his cheeks and tell him how sweet he is.  Sometimes we read out of his story bible and other times we read books but he always seems more interested in how edible the book is.

He's one smiley kid which makes my day to day life really nice.  He has his bad days of course but thankfully I've got the patience for those days because we have so many great ones! Yes, i'm bragging about my boy but what mother doesn't?

He is just about ready to start crawling, i'm accepting prayers for this next phase! That i'd have energy to chase him around :).

This past sunday in church we heard a really good message about faith. I loved being in church and looking at these people that i'm starting to know and already love dearly.  We meet in a middle school auditorium and it's a very simple feel.  But we're being challenged and I see that God is working in the lives of these people and my own.  I like supporting these people and being there for them.  Garrett is sometimes all alone in the nursery but when I peek in he is sitting there next to a few girls adoring him and i'm thankful for that.  It's been a blessing to serve God sunday mornings in the preschool class.  These kids have my heart.  We combined classes last sunday with the four year olds.  They're funny, sweet, and easy to make smile.  It's fun to get down on their level and look in their eyes and say, 'now where is that beautiful smile of yours, i haven't seen it all morning!' and have them giggle away.  The craziest thing is God had to continue to push the need for me to help out in this ministry.  And i'm sad because I waited this long! I can be selfish of my time, but God knows how we have a need to serve and i'm seeing how important it is.

Then there are these freshman girls that I want to know more and more about after each sunday night.  We didn't have small groups yesterday and I felt really bummed over it.  They're girls worth looking forward to spending time with.  I look at them and see how fragile yet STRONG they are.  Each one different but when they're all together it makes for one amazing group. 

I had a very productive day. Sometimes when a lot of things are going on in my heart I get into a 'cleaning mood'.  So my home is neat, and the laundry is getting done quickly, and we had a delicious meal with no bake cookies! I have had two glasses of cider today and squeezed in a run.  I had no problem taking care of all of Garrett's feedings, bath, diaper changes, and now the day is done.  I feel good. :)

Talk to you tomorrow!

Congrats to my brother in law Pete for becoming a Certified Flight Instructor (CFI).  Really proud of you! Enjoy this next chapter!

 

I'm so thankful for fall!  It is such a great season in my opinion.  And since I fell in love with it i've been saying the same thing each time it comes around so you probably already have caught on to how much I love it! I won't go into detail but I can't get enough of the sweaters, cooler weather, and my warm cider!  Sadly we have had a bit of a heat wave this past week but I am hopeful that things will cool off. :)

Garrett will be experiencing his very first fall season and I am ready to share with him all of the wonderful things!  For me Halloween is part of that excitement.  I loved trick or treating as a child and sorting my candy when I got home.  I loved the parties and getting to carve pumpkins. I was getting excited to go trick or treating with Garrett until Darren informed me I can't take him out! He said it's like stealing candy since Garrett can't eat it..but I honestly wasn't even thinking about that..I was looking forward to dressing him up, taking pictures, and showing him off.  Now what to do.. :)  We'll have to settle for dressing him up and passing out candy!

Last week sunday was such a blessing.  I loved helping in the preschool class that morning.  There were 3 little boys that were melting my heart! One little guy randomly told me the story of Jonah and the whale and another one wanted to sit right in my lap.  The two little girls were also a joy to talk with.  I miss being tiny and not having a care in the world!
Sunday evening we had our first small group with some pretty amazing teenage girls! They were really nice and I hope they had a great time.  It will be fun to get to know them this school year and see how they grow.  I like to hear from them and what they're going through as well as what they're learning.  I've been praying their faith in God would grow.

I've been going to the gym at night and have been pushing myself each night.  I am feeling exhausted today though! I've lost a few pounds already and it honestly feels good losing weight in a healthy way.  I'll be excited to see this hard work pay off. :)
Well that's all i've got for you today!  Hope you're having a great day.
laura

I have this huge lump in my throat because God is making his plans clear and i'm amazed by what he has been holding in store for the upcoming months. 

I have been doing a lot of this the past few months asking God to make clear where my next steps should be. 

I spent two glorious weeks in Indiana/Wisconsin with family.  God seriously tended to my soul by pouring love into my heart, speaking to me in the silent moments, teaching me more about himself, and correcting much of the wrong in my heart.  I came home refreshed and with a better understanding of the importance of trusting God.  

For the past few weeks I have begun my 'healthy living' diet.  I miss junk food but I really would like to lose 20 lbs by Christmas so there's no room for too much of it!  I have been walking, running, hopping on the elliptical, and using that time to pray for the people in my life. I think it makes the time speed on by as I gasp for air. :) I've tried to cut down on the calorie intake and it's my hope that this will help shed the pounds! So far I've lost a few pounds. woohoo!

I like this picture/quote it's been inspirational. ha



I don't know all of God's plans but let me tell you how excited I am for the upcoming months! I offered to help in our preschool 3s and 4s sunday mornings and am thrilled to teach these little ones about Christ.  I can't wait to meet them and be a part of this season of their lives.  I love that age group and their tender innocent hearts.  They bring about many smiles and remind me of the simple things about Christ that I can't get enough of.  I pray this time serving God would bring him glory and that he would not only teach me but teach these little ones about Himself. I can't wait!

And who would have thought God would have answered such a prayer as this from a girl who had been such a mess..'Lord I want to work with teenage girls and love them, walk with them, and teach them about you'.  I sat back quietly after much time went on with no answer and I accepted that it was just not God's will at that time.  In the last few weeks I was invited to be a part of 'Delight Girls ministry'.  I was asked to be a co-leader to a group of 10 freshman girls and my heart could not be happier! I have been praying for these girls already this week and as I say their names I can't wait to put a face along with each name.  I'm really thankful for this chance to serve God in a way that my heart has desired for so long.  I remember being in highschool and wanting to go to college so I could one day help troubled teen girls and although I doubt these girls are 'troubled' I am sure that they could use someone to walk through this school year with that loves them deeply. So i'm 22 and here I am doing exactly what my heart desired.  I'm humbled.  That's the best way to describe it.   I can't wait to meet these girls sunday night and form what I pray will be lasting friendships as well as see them grow over the years.

Laura