I can't move! Every bone in my body is sore from playing softball last night! I was invited to come out and play and with great enthusiasm I took the field and had a blast. :) It brought back really great memories and as I stood in left field I caught wind of one of my favorite scents..GRASS.  It took me back to the days I ran hard on a soccer field and played hard. Those were such great memories! 

My son has been blessing me so much! He is an incredible baby.  I love being able to go out all day like today and him not be upset about a change in our day.  Having a flexible baby has been a relief.  We went to Yorktown today and visited the different places that are so important to our freedom today..I have a new appreciation for the French who helped us become independent! Darren's brother Dave took us around and gave us a wonderful history lesson.  We ate at a yummy pub down in Yorktown to seal the day. :) I love history which made today really fun.  We even took time to stop and read the signs!
~~~~~


I am officially a consultant for a company named 'Purse Party Inc'.  :) What a huge step for a girl that would rather be home! 
For a few weeks now I have been praying hard about a few things related to this.  I did a lot of research and talking it over with my husband. 
I have been clinging to God this past week as I stepped out and signed up! I wanted to do this for the sole purpose of meeting new woman.  God has poured into my life knowledge of how to spend eternity with Him.  How wrong is it to harbor that and not share his love with others?  I LOVE my role as a wife and a mother and right now there is a good balance between those roles.  However it has been heavy on my heart that I am not a part of much outside of this home.  So I prayed..and prayed. 
First off, i am not a grand saleswoman..not at all! In fact i'm pretty pitiful if we're being honest. But I love the idea of gathering with a group of woman while they shop over purses and develop friendships.  I think this is going to be such a wonderful experience if I allow my attitude to remain positive. 


I love how God made a way for me to be right with Him.  I love that because of Christ I can come tonight before Him and pour out this heart.  I love that I can come right up to him and tell him how much I appreciate this or that.  How much I love the beautiful things He created.  Or tell him i'm sorry that I was disobedient.  I love that he cares enough to discipline me when I am being bitter or negative towards something or something..that he loves me enough to do that is incredible.  I love that He wants to be in my heart and makes it his..that is very cool to me! It's not a sunday morning experience with Him..but each day he shows up and I have the privilege to walk with him and be in a relationship with my king.  I might fail but I am so thankful that he is at that finish line cheering me on..that he is pouring love into my life daily.  I hope you know him too.

Well it is late and I have to get up early :)..I don't think I can get up from this chair though..bummer. Have a great night!

he melts my heart! So sweet..

We spent the afternoon in Duck, North Carolina yesterday and I was in HEAVEN. I soaked up every second of our time there and was truly blown away by God's handiwork. I have wanted to see North Carolina for some time now and it was really neat to finally make a drive down there.  As we neared this quaint and cozy town my heart began to fill! People were riding bikes, every building was CUTE, and the oceanside was these people's backyard! I told Darren I was sinning for sure while I coveted everyone who owned a home there.  It was just me..the styles of the homes, the small town, BEACH, smell of sunblock, I really was happy.  We met some wonderful people who let us stay for a rib dinner and I was able to look out at the view from their living room/kitchen while the sun set across the ocean.  I was dying to grab a book and sit outside in one of their many comfy chairs. Darren had to drag me away but I felt very full.  We spent most of the afternoon on the beach and I picked up a few seashells while the waves swept around my feet.  Can you picture this day with me?? I loved the sort of peace that came over me..and I was able to praise God for the beauty.  He didn't have to arrange our world in breathtaking views but He did and it reveals his glory all the more! I needed a short trip to the sunny shores of North Carolina to be reminded how God loves me. God fills us up in ways no person or thing is able to..if you allow Him.

I am not a picky person, in fact I think that's what makes me a good fit for being a navy wife. You can move me anywhere and after awhile i'll make a home and meet some pretty sweet people but there was something about being in North Carolina that made my heart swell and I ached to stay there for the rest of my life.  I love that God has allowed me to see the beauty all over though. Honestly you could plop me in front of a cornfield and as the sun sets over that field i'm in heaven as well! I envy those that live in the mountains in colorado..they just shout of God's glory.  There is beauty across the world and I know this didn't come to be on it's own. I love being the daughter of the one that created this all..he did so good!

This week tuesday marks our three year wedding anniversary and I am really excited to celebrate with Darren! We had a wonderful trip yesterday and last night as we were driving home we were reminiscing over the past three years and it was neat.  I'm looking forward to writing a post about my man in the next few days so i'll save all my words about him for then! But man do I truly love Him.

I have been looking forward to sunday morning all week. I LOVE our church family deeply and have come to really enjoy our time there.  These people make me beyond happy as we spend more time together. We meet in a middle school, it is not glamorous  by any means.  But it has my heart because of that simplicity..our pastor speaks each week with an honest heart... and do you know how neat it is to know you're family is cared for? We meet for sunday school with a group of other young married couples all at different places in their walk with God and they have each encouraged me in some way.  I like opening our bibles and digging through God's word together.  I like hanging out with them during the week and experiencing life together.  It's a small community of believers but they are making a big impact on my life right now.  Sometimes simplicity is such a nice thing.  I love meeting God on sunday mornings. :)

Garrett is wonderful.  He has been the happiest baby on the block.  I am always told by people that spend a few hours around us how relaxed he is and such a good baby.  I love hearing that because it reminds me how blessed we are with him! He hardly gets fussy and makes going out very easy.  He'll go to other people just fine and I know that makes them feel good to have their baby fix.  Yesterday he passed out on this woman and she soaked him in! I loved that she was able to have that time with him because it seemed to make her very happy. 

Tonight Garrett and I went to a surprise party at a restaurant and he sat in his stroller content for two and half hours while I ate and chatted with friends.  He took a rest and then woke up happy as can be.  He played with his toys and stayed happy all night.  Garrett is a baby full of smiles which blesses me so much.  I know each mom brags on their baby and I am right there with them! I don't know if he will become a crazy child but being his mother is incredible.  I love that he will over the years learn about Jesus and I thank God that He will be loved so deeply by his family and our friends. 

Garrett has his moments when he is beside himself upset but I can handle them well.  Do you ever feel like you're doing something right? I know that as God walks me through motherhood it will be much more of a blessing.

The other night we were getting ready for bed and I began telling Darren how I was blessed and have never faced any sort of big tragedy in my life. I don't know anyone personally (except my great grandmother) that passed away, all my life i've been provided for, i've never been abused, I come from a loving family that also loves God.  I now have married into a family that I love dearly and who treat me as their own.  How come?  Why did God allow me to be this blessed..and I asked darren if I would still love God and think he was good if something happened that rocked my world and He said, 'Laura you would still love God'.  I know that's true tonight..because He is good.  I know that if I lost someone dear to me or tragedy fell on us that God would provide as always.  I know that pain would definitely come but God has filled my life with people that would surround me and walk me through.  I don't know why God blessed me with this life but i'm thankful to Him for loving me deeply. 

Well it's getting so late and I need to get to bed, thanks for letting me share :). Have a great rest of the weekend!

Laura

I'm not sure whose crazy idea it was to not drink soda for an entire month but she is CRAZY..and there should have been some kind of warning.  For example: **Be cautious when cutting coca cola out of your diet for a month..headaches almost everyday**. yeah..something like that. :) Well I'm committed already so not too much longer.  But let me tell you friends, when I am able to have a coke again, it will be a glorious day!

My tiny baby is not so tiny anymore. He is 16.6 pounds!  But you know what he is one perfect and healthy baby according to the doctor so i'm happy about that. He was one tough cookie during his shots. It was hard to see his face turn cherry red and then hear him let it out. Thankfully at this age they will settle down pretty quick afterwards! He is making me very happy though.  I was looking at him today admiring what God entrusted to us...I am thankful that God wants me to teach this little one about Him.  A teacher..what a wonderful role.

Tonight I went to bible study with no expectations of anything huge happening except a nice evening with my friends, learning something new from God's word. 

What I never expected was to have God smash down my neat walls that protect the dearest part of me.  For the past two days I have in several ways heard that without love the truth you share is pretty pointless if not spoken in love. I may have a lot of good advice that I have learned from the Bible but if I were to ever share that without love it won't be for any good. Does that make sense? I have been missing love and I didn't know why.

  

What caused me to build walls? Rejection. 

Recently a few things have cause me to nearly be crippled in spirit caused by rejections. let me go into detail.

Rejection by this World I live in:

What does our American culture tell me? You don't make money, therefore you are not successful.  You don't have a degree, therefore you're not smart. You're a stay at home mother and that doesn't qualify you for anything but changing diapers and feeding my child.

Do you understand how badly this hurts? It goes against everything in which Christ is telling me but I believe that I don't count, that i'm useless.  It's in my human nature to believe the negative that i'm nothing rather than I'm chosen by God.

Rejection by people:

I won't go into detail to much here but I have been rejected by one of the people that I loved THE MOST. I can't tell you how awful it feels.  To try to love and be shut out constantly and after awhile I begin to believe that I am useless or not important.  So I stopped loving..and I mean I stopped caring for others because I didn't want risk hurting that deep again. 

What life looks like when you live rejected~

My house became a mess. Why bother? What is the point, it doesn't matter right? My heart became hard towards people and I didn't really want to get close to anyone.  I will love only a little and be safe. But where there is that empty place I allowed other bad stuff to come stay.

I didn't know this until tonight. 

Acceptance by God:

I feel like God walked into that room tonight, sat down and talked direct with me laying it all out on the table in an honest way asking if I wanted to be free? He said I was going to run the risk of rejection in relationships but that I need to understand his sovereignty in my life. He taught me about loving in a hard way that only He can give through me.  The kind of love talked about in 1 Corinthians 13..a love that requires a choice on my part..not based on how I'm feeling. I wanted to sob because He was asking me to let my heart be exposed to others.  To love again..in a deeper way that the people He brings into my life need. 

He tells me that I am His, that I don't need a degree to do the His will or share His love. That being a mother is an extroadinary job with deep importance to Him.  That to keep my home neat, have good meals can be done to bring glory to God. I will always want the very best for when God is in our home and I want others to be welcomed and comfortable. 
He will provide for our needs and my identity is found in Christ.  I am his child which is the greatest privilege i'll ever know.  People do not reject me always, sometimes they reject Christ in me..and that is for God to handle, not me. What a comforting and freeing thought!

And to the one that rejects me still...I can love again because this love God teaches me about doesn't keep a record of wrongs...and it forgives, it's kind, and it doesn't fail.

I will face rejection, but God chose me.

What a beautiful night full of God's love.

I don't know who this is reading right now, but I care about you in a way I never did before. Thank you for walking this journey with me.

Laura

Marriage has been heavy on my heart friends and I think it's time to share...I pray you wouldn't judge me but simply love me for who I am now.

'Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

In the last 6 months I have witnessed 3 friends go through a divorce and few more quickly headed in that direction.  I lost count of the number of friend's marriages that are struggling..but i'm broken hearted over it. 

I'm going to cry during this post because this is my heart..all set out and raw for you.

I grew up in a blessed household with two parents that love each other deeply.  They are each other's best friend and I was witness to that for that last 22 years.  That's how I saw marriage the way God intended and although they had and have moments they drive each other nuts they followed true to the verse in Ephesians. You don't go to bed upset with each other and fights are resolved.
My father in loving my mother the way Christ loved us showed me how a christ-centered marriage was to look like.  My mother is a strong woman she dealt with the early years where my dad had said he was selfish.  Divorce could have seemed like a better option at the time for her I suppose but do you know how crazy about my dad she is now after all these years?? She loves that guy! And she doesn't even have to say it..you can SEE it when they're around each other.  They have a love and respect for each other that others can see and it affected their children greatly. 

I was sheltered from a world that divorce is now as easy as buying an ice cream cone. You drop yours (marriage) and you can easily go back for another (marriage).  Bad comparison? ha well you get the point...we're not serious about the commitments we're making and satan is having his way with us. 
Maybe we're not willing to put in the work and effort it takes to have a marriage God intended for us?  I expected marriage bliss to simply happen and stick over the course of the years Darren and I'd spend together.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine i'd be sitting on a couch not even a year after we'd been married talking about divorce with Darren and a pastor.  No, that wasn't in my wildest dreams because when I was 15 years old laying under the stars praying for my future husband I imagined pure bliss and that it would be just as the stories said it would...

I would find a handsome man who would love and care for me..he'd spend nights on the beach talking about our God and deeper matters of the heart.  We'd enjoy dinner at the table and go out for ice cream gazing into one another's eyes finding laughter in the small things of life.  He'd go off to work during the day and i'd find my work with the household chores and then as the mother of his children.  It goes on...but I think you see where my dreams where.  They were far off from the reality to come.

When I was 19 years old and very much in love I walked down the isle and had love in my eyes for Darren.  We'd met online just 17 months earlier and although it was a strange way to meet we were perfect for each other.  He thought that whatever job he would have would be far away after he graduated college so he wanted to marry me and take his bride along with him.  Just about 7 months before our wedding there in the mountains of beautiful Arizona we were engaged and I couldn't wait! This was a dream come true...

No one prepares you for marriage, or lets you know, 'Hey this is going to take some work, it's going to be hard'.  And as a 19 year old girl I don't know if I would have even understood. But life happened too quickly for us...within the first few months of our marriage my husband lost his job and I was working as a bank teller.  I went to work from 9-5 and dealt with the public..the good and the very worst.  I was bitter because this wasn't adding up to the expectations i'd had as a young girl.  The laundry, dishes, bills, and problems piled up and we were in over our heads.  How do you tell someone that you're marriage is failing in the first few months?  I cried a lot and darren didn't feel good enough for the work world.  We both felt like we were failing.  We tried to get along but with life piling up against you there seems to be no chance of pushing through.  We didn't have a home church or close friends on top of that.  I was lonely..completely lonely.  I started blaming my husband for the way I felt and sin crept into our marriage like the way it did for Adam and Eve that very first marriage...
We hurt each other bad with our actions and words. Who knew the power we held to break the other down completely?  I was angry with the Lord..my Lord. How could he let this happen? How?
Things only became worse. I started to think about divorce and my rights.  'I didn't deserve to be treated this way', 'I deserve to be happy'. So I began to figure out how to provide for myself and when I went to my father to tell him I was leaving Darren he said no.  I cried and tried to reason at first but He was the angel sent to guard the door by my God.  He made what was i'm sure one of the hardest decisions of his life..he stepped in and brought me home for a few weeks to let darren and I cool off.  We needed counseling, direction, and mostly love.  We started going to counseling and talking through what were the most painful conversations for both of us.  We were facing our sins head on and it hurt but God was reaching in with his hands and breaking us apart to build us back up.
Darren was going to be leaving for basic training and we came back together as things settled down.  I didn't feel hurt or sadness for his coming departure.  I didn't know how to feel towards him or God at the time.  I was hurting and Darren was hurting.  But we were going to make this work.
He left and I was indifferent.  It took two weeks for it to sink in that my husband was gone. It was when I was staying a night at my in laws and that night I cried.  I cried harder than I'd ever in my life.  I cried for my marriage, for my husband being gone, and for all the wrong i'd done to that man.  I prayed that if God would have us that he'd mend our marriage and do a miracle.  I was a broken sobbing mess but one with hope after that night.
Darren began pouring in letters with quite some length on them! I was falling in love with my husband. He wrote powerful things that began to gain my respect and God began working in our hearts. Not everything was fixed but there was signs of light shining through.

The return-
I'd lost a lot of weight while darren was gone and it was just in time for his return.  We headed up to his basic training graduation and I had never been so excited to see my husband.  He was the most handsome man standing there and when we embraced it was the sweetest moment. I held a sailor..a sailor that was mine, all mine.  We'd been through 2 months of training separate but together we were changing.

Maryland-
The navy had a way of bringing us together and then bringing us apart again.  I thought we were good to go now and that all was going to be right.  But Darren in his A-school in maryland didn't have a whole lot of time for me.  We would invite friends over and I was getting more attention from his friends than him.  It was hard to deal with and our home became somewhat of a party home.  I never would have dreamed we'd be serving alcohol in my home.  But that seems to be the way in the Navy..they weren't kidding about the whole 'drunk'n sailors' part.  Things dwindled down and apart again.  We didn't attend a church and didn't have close friends.  Our families weren't too close and no one was holding us accountable.  Sin crept in again and we did things to hurt each other badly. We were back were we started.

Meeting God on a dirt road~
I had a lot building up inside of me.  I didn't have anyone to tell either.  I couldn't dream of calling family and telling them of our mess and we didn't have a pastor to lead us back.  I hadn't prayed in months in fact.  So I went for a walk and before I knew it I began to talk to God.  It was a walk that transformed my heart actually.  I knew that it was time to be honest with Darren and confess different sins that would either lead him to walk away from me or stay.  If we were going to have a marriage that honored God we needed to start fresh and that meant being totally honest.  (I never had an affair if you're getting at that in your mind, thank the Lord! and Darren was never unfaithful either, that is such a mess to deal with in marriage!) Anyways it was march that all this happened and we agreed to work things out.  I gave up my rights in the same way that Christ gave up his rights when he died on the cross for us.  I knew that if this marriage was going to last we needed to have a solid foundation to build it on, Christ. 

Starting fresh with the same one-
A lot of people at this point would have walked away but Darren and I are stubborn and God used that stubbornness for good.  We loved each other and our relationship began to turn into something I never would have dreamed.  We went out together and played catch, basketball, we watched movies together, we went to a few baseball games even. In about 3 months time we became best friends again. I adored him!  I began to relearn him and gain new knowledge of Darren that led me to love him even deeper.  It took a few hard years but we had finally gained a better understanding of how marriage was suppose to work and some ways to make it stick.  Not perfect but definitely the way God had in mind.

A braves game and a new direction~
It was last may that Darren and I went to a baseball game.  We were having an incredible time together and I couldn't imagine life being any better.  We were on the ride home laughing about something when Darren told me he needed to sit down with me later that night.  Friends, to say I was nervous is such an understatement..i was terrified because my husband doesn't have 'sit downs' he is not a talker!
So he sat me down and took my hands and told me he loved me very much and then said he wanted to start our family.  I have never been happier.  Who would have thought that next month we'd be pregnant! :)

Deployment~I was now mommy-to-be and in pure bliss.  Darren had found out he would be going on a long deployment and my heart broke.  I shed enough tears to fill a lake i'm sure of it! But I was trusting in God with all my heart that he would use this time to build our marriage.  He did!  He took that time and tended to my heart and darrens.  I moved back to indiana to stay with my family and was surrounded with a church family that loved me to no ends and I helped in our awana program loving a couple of the cutest girls! I went on a few trips to visit family who I grew to love even more.  I spent time in God's word again something I hadn't done for a long time.  God didn't have to but He went deep in my heart and removed the bad, forgave and filled those empty places with himself. 

Life since- The here and now

I love my husband more than I can write and it would be pretty lengthy to go into detail but trust me on this friends, He is the love of my life!  I thank God for the miracle he performed in my marriage and heart.  I don't have an easy story to tell but I have a marriage that is worth telling about because it took faith to accept God can do the unthinkable in any marriage. 

Here's the truth i've discovered, the man is still going to drive me crazy!
Tonight for example-we're on the phone bickering about who should have to go to the post office to send back movies, and how I've changed more diapers than him and need a break! He walks through the door and we have a sit down talking about getting some things in order so our marriage can be better and i'm sure God is thinking 'laura do you ever stop talking! Give the poor man a break!'  So he goes to sleep at 5 because he's dead tired after getting no sleep last night on duty and I let him...instead I go to cooking hamburger.  I'm in the kitchen pounding away at that meat when I realize 'shoot what was I even making!?'.  Thankfully there are so many choices for what you can make with hamburger :).  But I got to talking about God and confessing how wrong I was and how i'm sorry.  He forgave me and we had a nice evening but it made me think about my marriage as a whole and how thankful I am that the guy sleeping right now is in this home and committed to making this marriage work with me.  I know that he's going to get up and kiss me and tell me I worry to much but he loves me anyways. I love him.  And I am his wife/helpmate for the rest of my life.  He is worth all the grace I can give.
Friends, marriage isn't perfect because of that three letter word I loathe...sin.  We're going to fail each other and maybe even more often than we'd like to admit?  Don't leave.  Don't walk out that door throwing up your hand with the 'My Rights' card.  Because Jesus dying on the cross for our sin didn't throw that out to save us.  Marriage is worth fighting for and making personal sacrifices..
I'm not a marriage expert or counselor but I'm a firm believer in making marriage work.  Trust God will do a miracle and start putting your spouse first. 

~Laura~

Sweetheart,

You have my heart.  I will love and cherish you through all the good and bad years to come.  Thank you for loving me and seeing me through.  I wouldn't want to be married to anyone else.  You 'get' me and still love me for it! I'm one blessed woman.

 



My sweet friend Crystal!

pretty toes :)

Here's a few pictures from yesterday at the zoo and my girls night out!

I can't even begin to describe the joy I have when I write in my blog and how comfortable and safe this place is for me.  Writing is my passion and I would never clump myself in with the great writers out there but I have been journaling since I was little and blogging since highschool, it sure is fun!  Thank you for listening to my heart and loving me!

Tonight I was doing my daily bible reading (Reading the Bible in a year) and oh my goodness was I at the edge of my seat. Now that must be how God meant reading his word to look like. :) I was in Genesis 28 and 29 reading about Jacob's family.  My sweet husband is across the room watching baseball and I blurt out 'How am I ever going to remember all of this!!' he just shook his head and laughed..so I proceeded to trail on out loud about how Abraham is the father of Isaac, God asks him to sacrifice his son then says No stop!, Isaac marries Rebekah, they have two sons Esau and Jacob, Jacob tricks his blinding father into believing he is the firstborn-Esau, Now Esau wants to kill his brother, THEN there is now Jacob's family he goes away so his brother won't kill him and he falls in love with Rachel but has to wait 7 years while he works for her father...well he does and then the father tricks him and he marries/lays with the older daughter Leah!, Jacob is upset and has to work seven more years to earn a marriage with the one he loves, Rachel.  God opens Leah's womb and she has three sons which causes Rachel to be jealous so she offers her maidservant.  Leah at this point is done having children and tried gaining Jacob's love through children but it didn't work so she offers her maidservant.........

This story connects to the nation of Israel that I have yet to read about.  This book was meant to be read through in full.  I am thrilled to find out in my future readings how this all works together for God's glory..and it will.  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob have interesting stories and important roles in the gospel of Jesus.  I am excited to read more but boy is this a lot to remember and retain! I'm being consistent in asking God to help me remember.  Darren is being a great sport in hearing me out as I stretch this story out to find the deeper truths here. Exciting stuff, huh? I think by committing to God's word He is changing my heart and i'm falling hard for him.  He is incredible in the way he is in the details of everyday life.

These three men mentioned above are simple simple simple men! I LOVE that because that's me. I don't know what sort of talents they had but God is not once mentioning their accomplishments because what matters to him is that they are serving Him. You will be amazed at how life looks when you accept it's not about you...and it's all about Him.  I know that it's still a hard concept to understand for me since by nature i'm selfish.  My eyes have been glued to Him lately and it is effecting my marriage, and relationship with Garrett, and how I love friends.  I am happy..and I didn't do anything other than open my bible and pray.  He said he would change my heart and he is..he is opening my heart to new ideas and a love only he gives.

I have never hurt to see God but tonight I ache to hear his voice and see his eyes...I tell him that although he feels like an old friend seeing him for the first time will be the sweetest moment and I'l realize how little I knew. Can I tell you my secret??

I am a visual person.  I learn by seeing or hands on..maybe that's why I stink at math?! Anyways this goes back years ago.  I read a story about how our heart is like a home and there are different rooms. One room was described all warm and cozy and God was waiting there for us.  I guess it stuck with me..because when I pray my eyes are closed and I go to that room.  There's a fireplace and it's quiet, my Jesus is sitting on the couch and although I never see him in detail he is there and I sit down and let it out.  Sometimes our conversation starts as me saying, 'I'm sorry it's been awhile, i've missed you so much..'.  He just always loves me and that place where he is in my heart is wonderful..because he is there.
Right now he is making my ENTIRE heart his home too and It is beyond amazing.  He is cleaning house with me and we are getting to know each other more.  I am crying a lot these days because the tender place in my heart is full of love from Him.  Isn't that such a neat way to see God? 

Well today I had the chance to speak to my best friend a few times and as she mentored me I couldn't help but feel blessed by her.  She reminded me that sometimes God answers prayer with saying to wait. It's hard to sit back down and accept a time period of waiting but I think this will be an incredible place in my life as I grow and mature.
Well I should end here as my sweet baby is going to need to eat pretty soon. Goodnight friends!

Okay so what does prayer look like for you? I really do want feedback on this please :).

I am loving on my little guy more than ever this week.  He is becoming more interesting as he learns new things and reveals his personality to us.  God blessed us with a happy baby and I couldn't get enough of those baby giggles! I often wonder if those cheeks of his are getting sore from all the kisses?!

Yesterday I finally did it! I dug out the old work out clothes, tied those tennis shoes, and set out for a run.  It felt great to be active again and do my part in losing the rest of those stubborn pounds! I wouldn't say running is a deep love of mine but It makes me happy to workout.

I cancelled out the workout last night with a cup of cappuccino punch though. It was AMAZING! If you want the recipe I'll send it your way :). I drank this at night and offered some to Darren and it dawned on me later that the coffee, sugar, whipping cream, and vanilla ice cream...is a perfect combination to make you crazy happy! haha seriously I was wired and decided it best to lock myself in my room so i'd save darren from the wrath of all the words building up inside.  I was feeling extra chatty and so it seemed better to bury myself in God's word and put that energy to good use.

This morning Garrett and I headed to the Zoo for his very first trip! We met up with a few friends on what seemed like the hottest day yet.  I was hesitant to go but figured if it was too bad we'd head home.  We saw a few animals and then the little guy was starting to get drenched in sweat so I made the smart mommy decision to head home after water on the face wasn't working.  As I loaded him in the hot car he gave me a super sad look as to say, 'really mom?'.  But then the air conditioning came on and I had to praise God for the gift of cool air on a day like today! Not everyone has that luxury and i'm very thankful we're blessed with it! Hopefully we can try to see more animals the next time it's not this warm out.

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I have loved God since I was a child and with time that love has grown into something much more intimate than I'd dreamed of.  Last night as I laid my heart before God and shared the deep parts of myself with Him I was overwhelmed with the nearness of my Savior.  Tears began to flow as I shared with Him my fear of only knowing a small part of Him when in fact there is no way for me to ever grasp the fullness of the Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit).  Not until Heaven will I be capable of comprehending all of Him. It is the most intimidating thing to confess sin to a God who already knows, but the response from Him is gentle in how He extends forgiveness. I read through my Bible chapters last night and became even more in love with God's word.  In Matthew 8:18-34 Jesus is on a boat with his disciples and there comes a great storm.  Jesus is asleep and the disciples go into a panic and cry out to Him to save them from drowning! Jesus said to them, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?'  Then he gets up and calms the storm and these men are in awe that even the winds and the waves obey Him. 
This story is incredible because there's a deeper message here for each of us.  In whatever storm that is causing our heart to be troubled we're shown here to look to Christ because in Him there is peace and a calming of the waves in our life.  It's a beautiful picture of the result of trusting God. 

I wish that we could sit together over a cup of my wonderful cappuccino punch so that we could really get deeper into the things about God.  It's my goal to be more intentional in my relationships to be a better friend.  I treasure this blog and the platform to share my love for God and how I'm growing as a child of God, wife, and mother...but there's a lot to be said for a good face to face conversation! I'm learning to embrace relationships in my life right now because we were meant to walk this life with others. 

Well it's time to wrap this up for today. :) I love you for reading this and caring for me! Thank you for being my faithful reader and I hope that you're encouraged today.

Laura

We're being welcomed home with high temperatures but plenty of sun! Our trip to Indiana was wonderful and came to an end way to quickly.  Don't you hate how fast time goes when you want it to drag on and yet when you want time to be quick it goes ever so slowly! Funny how that works out..

I am full of energy today which is wonderful.  Garrett and I headed out early this morning to run errands and at one point in the grocery store I was the mom with the crying baby...and then I saw a mom walking out with a little boy throwing an even bigger fit, kicking and screaming and he made my little guy seem like an angel..THEN I realized how that will probably be me one day :). All moms walk that road and it seems there is no getting through motherhood without the struggles of an upset child.  Today that was my boy though and I didn't like it one bit! He has hit a growth spurt again and i'm hoping these next few days pass with my hair still intact. Today I did learn how to push a cart with my hip, hold a baby trying to leap out of your arms, and pick up groceries. So anyways for now we are dealing with extra feedings and a fussy baby, but hey! we had 10 hours of sleep total last night and I'll take it! 

Darren and I had two 14 hour trips to/from Indiana and God blessed our marriage incredible in that time! I can't get enough of that guy.  He says things every now and then that blows me away.  I was confessing some things i'm struggling with and he challenged me in a graceful way.  He does that and it reminds me of the way Christ is towards me!  I've been running on empty for some reason and God filled me up during this trip home and also through my husband.  He 'gets' me and still love me for who I am!  We are different in many ways but I love how he compliments me in such a way that only God could have intended.  We were reminicing about how we met over the internet and after being reminded of the details I was amazed that God could write a love story so beautifully.  We are approaching our three year wedding anniversary and this last year was the best we agreed on! I'd say the first two years were rocky and certainly filled with troubles but I love the marriage we have today.  We're learning each other and growing more in love.  Marriage is not simple and it certainly takes a daily effort to be intentional with loving and showing respect.  Some days are easier than others! :) But for today i'm thanking God for blessing me with Darren.  He's wonderful!

A long time ago my father brought to my attention how I can care about people to a fault.  I will take a friends burden on myself and after awhile if i'm not leaving whatever issue they're having with God i'm feeling really down for them.  It's a joy stealer! I hope you don't think i'll stop caring for people but there's a healthier way!  God intends for me to love my friends and if they're struggling with something to listen and be available but then pray for that person and leave it in God's hands  It's not healthy to hold onto their issues and try to help too much.  Loving someone means sometimes to share truth but then let them make their choice even if that choice will hurt them.  I hate seeing hurt friends making choices that will lead to a path of more hurt..hope that makes sense! I'm seeing friends angry, bitter, getting divorces, distant with their spouse, struggling with life and It breaks my heart.  I'm always amazed the way we can justify sin and believe God is alright with that.  But God intends for me to trust Him in all matters. Thankful for realizing this over the last week so I can better love the people in my life!

This summer the woman at church are doing a monday night bible study.  I am looking forward to this time with these new friends to dig into God's word together and see new friendships bloom.  I hope God uses monday nights to teach me how to be a better woman, wife, and mother.

Well I don't even want to think about laundry but the pile is...well way too big! I'd much rather sit outside and read but that stink'n bees nest is there and we have to take care of that first.  I guess that means laundry
:( bummer! Have a wonderful day!