I can't get over this photograph and every time I lay eyes on it a huge smile spreads across my face.

His first birthday was wonderful for our little family as we celebrated with good friends.  The party went so well with a laid back feel!

He's now one and has three developing words. "Momma", "Dadda", and "Ball" It hit me today that these are his first words and I couldn't believe we're creeping up to this next milestone! Words..agh! not ready but then again it's amazing and I'm soaking in these moments.

I've been having the most tenderhearted conversations with the Lord the last few days. They've consisted of confessions from me, praise, but lots of time in God's word! Having a conversation with God is when I sit with my bible open and I read His word to me and we talk through it.  I love that picture because it works. There in the quiet moments God invites me into this loving relationship with Him and it's the most sweetest thing i've ever experienced in all of my life.  I would never want to not have that time in God's presence.  There are times in the past year that the holy spirit has felt quenched in me.  Not that God's spirit left me but church, bible study, and good conversations are not enough to keep my relationship with the Lord filling. I was hungry for Him!

I also heard an encouraging word from Beth Moore on physical health and I need to pass this one along because it's a gem.  I have a handful of friends that are in this boat with me and you need to hear this.  The ultimate goal in health is freedom. God never intended us to be in bondage to food or working out. 

*Obsession is NOT Nutrition*

I have personally followed along with what has worked for Beth Moore and have loved it.

Here is the video. Two parts but well worth the 20 minutes!

http://youtu.be/gYuYrFW60e4

http://youtu.be/coIsRW28oPc

I so hope these linked up. If not go to youtube and search, "Beth Moore-physical health"

The last few mornings I've woken up early had some quiet time, fed Garrett, and then strapped him into the stroller for a run. It was not a choice to make, I just did it. It's working out well so far! I will say that this is a battle already because satan has made a fool out of me over the issue of weight.  I am a daughter of the most High and I refuse to stay down defeated in this area.  God never intended me to be in bondage in this area.  Breaking free feels wonderful!

I will have to LEARN moderation with food and let me tell you this is HARD.  There's no simple way around it.  It will take time to develop new eating habits. I say this as there is still four pieces of the best cake in our fridge. :) I don't believe in withholding for long periods of time because I go the opposite after awhile and binge. (Not fun!) It's all about moderation.  Having to change is my least favorite thing but I believe God's blessing and presence is covering me in this area.

~*~

Darren, myself, papers, extra pens, two computers, and a calculator were spread across the floor. We were sitting down to finalizing our budget.  We invited God into this through a simple prayer together.  We read from His word about not being able to serve both Him and money.  It was going to be one or the other.  We chose Him.

We learned we were going to have to cut a large chunk out of the budget we had figured out a few weeks earlier.  It was tempting to cry but I wanted to trust in God's plan for our finances.

So we crunched numbers for a good hour and talked over what was important and we tweaked our personal fun money and other areas. It hurt but we were led to a point of obedience to God in the matter of money and that has brought immense freedom.

I looked to my husband and felt a sense of peace in what he was saying and a thankfulness that it was HIM sitting there beside me leading this family.  That man has kept me when I was difficult. 

I'm a spender.  I love to buy.  But to have to learn to live with less can only be done through Christ...I'm clinging to Him friends. :) There's no other way to say it.

I can't wait to share how God works in this area and encourage you to do the same.

~*~

To my faithful readers...

This month is dedicated to my marriage especially. I am digging apart the bible, books, sermons, a bible study, and anything I can get my heart into on the subject of marriage.  I am reminiscing over my own marriage and what God has taught me because this month I am writing a chapter of my book on marriage.  It is the most intimidating thing but let me tell you to be able to write on this is a miracle because a few years ago i'd have thought you were crazy if you told me i'd be sitting on my couch typing words on marriage and how to embrace it.

I'm taking this slow and having grace on myself.  I have to go into this prayerfully everytime I sit down to study or write because the thoughts of inadequacy are daunting.

Here is what I was reminded of tonight;

When I come to God, I don't come having it all together.  He is the one who helps me get it all together! I'm so grateful for that fact.  In writing this book it seemed appropriate to wait and I let that time pass.  I didn't have a clear picture of where to start until recently. 

Yes, i'm intimidated by the whole thing but I want to write this because it's a chance to share what God has placed in my heart.  A message to embrace this life and the roles he's placed us in.  Please pray for me this month and over my marriage because i'm sure there will be bumps along the way that cause me to stumble that lead me to lose site of this direction.

~*~

For our Marriage challenge i'm going to skip to day 3 because we missed a few.  Thanks to my mom who responded on how she followed through with day one! Making my dad's favorite pizza. :)

Maybe you could do this tomorrow since it's late as i'm posting this.

1 Cor. 13:4 Love suffers long, and is kind.

I struggle with kindness towards darren and sometimes my tongue is sharp.  I love this passage of scripture as a reminder that love is not mean but it's kind.  I don't want to be mean to anyone and especially not to my husband.

Today be thankful that your husband is both tender and tough.  It may be difficult for him to be tender but if he ultimately you can't expect your husband to make you more secure. That can only be from God.  Just be thinking of how your man is considerate of your needs, even if it is the smallest thing!

Until next time!

Laura

For my son's first birthday party I had every intention of having an owl theme.  The invites I creativly put together had fun owl sayings and in my mind that's how the party would look like.  I realized today while beginning to decorate that this owl theme was all pinterested up in my mind :) (kind of like dreamed up). Can anyone relate with me!? I had to make a quick desicion to be okay with the reality that it's not but it's still going to be a wonderful day with friends celebrating our sweet boy. 

Although i've been busy cleaning today I HAD to get outside because this weather is to die for.  I took Garrett with me on our first run of the year and we both loved it.  As feet pounded the pavement I remembered how hard running is but decided to push through. 

Thankful for good friend loaning us their jogging stroller!

Then I finished weeding my flower bed in the front.  For me there's something theraputic about weeding and taking care of my own yard.  I L O V E it. Weird huh?

I'm excited for this spring to plant flowers and praying that God would allow there to be room in our budget for flowers.

I have one year in this beautiful home (as of now) and want to bloom where God's placed us and part of that is throwing myself into caring for this home and making it our own.

Yesterday morning I heard one of the best testimonies of a wife learning how to love her husband better.  Eydie Thomas spoke to a group of military women about her own journey of being a selfish wife to wanting to bless her man.  I walked away encouraged to love Darren and take care of him.  I can relate to her story because in the first few years of my marriage that's been my attitude most of the time.  In my marriage it was 'me, myself, and I'.  It's hard to admit to that but i'm learning right now how to die to myself.  Bare with me becuase this is simply not easy for a human being.  It's a supernatural act that gives me the strength to do this. 

Darren doesn't read this :) so i'm going to share this with the wives reading.  Take a journey with me please. 

I don't come to you saying i've figured this out. I'm saying that rock bottom is not fun and it's time to take back what is ours.  Satan has been given way too many strongholds in our hearts.  It can start with the simple realization that our husband is not meeting a need and then we start to gossip about him only to have our attitude toward him turn bitter and this slippery slope leads to hard times in our marriage that we can avoid.

Take 30 days to concentrate on your man.  Don't look at the amount of days just do today with me.  Committ to not say anything negative about him to a friend or even to him. 

Be a blessing in his life. 

Thank him today for something that he does, no matter how small. 

 'But laura he has done this or that to me...'

It's time to let go friends.  As Eydie talked about holding grudges yesterday I realized how rediculous it is to not forgive a friend when they hurt us.  It's freeing to say 'I forgive you and forget it, moving on'. 

I don't know your circumstances but trust me when I tell you that in my own marriage we have been at the door ready to walk out and time and time again God has pointed us to get back into the committment we made before him and love each other.  HE will give you the strength to walk through anything, trust him again.

Please tell me how you did today on loving your man and what creative way you let him know you love him!

The clock reads 5:00am and I roll out of bed quite cheerfully.  My mother would never believe that I'm intentionally getting up at this hour.  I understand how she loves the mornings now.  For me there's a peace in watching this home go from dark to light over a cup of coffee.  It's cozy and warm while I read my devotional and skim over it but this mornings devotional in 'Journey' doesn't seem to fit.  However, the words from last nights military bible study stick.  I'm mulling them over even now.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

This is God's word to me as my family treks through the unsure waters of the Military.  This describes a military family in the truest way.  I know in the years ahead there will be workups, deployments, moves, change, and so much more.  BUT God who having chose this small family will provide like he always has.

I moved to Chesapeake, VA a little over a year ago and I have a beautiful rental home, food to eat, well over 20 women that have blessed me greatly, an incredible mentor, am being stretched to serve in a teen girls ministry and the preschool Sundays, a church family that has taken us in, and a lot more.  This is God's doing, not my own. 
It is hard BUT he will provide.  I know that soon we'll be wading back into the waters and God has put into place all that we will need to make it through.

Maybe you're in a different career but never forget God chose you to be there.  Embrace it today and remember 2 Corinthians when you're feeling beaten up. There is hope in knowing Jesus Christ.  Thinking of you today!

~Laura

To write is to pour out your life as a love offering for people you may never meet, because when you do so you feel God’s pleasure in your fingertips. -Lisa-Jo (http://thegypsymama.com/)

There I was last night kneeling on aching knees tracing letters that all together read, 'Happy Birthday'.  A simple banner but as I traced, my mind wandered to that first moment he was in my arms.  No even further back to when I held that tiny stick telling me God was forming my child.  I loved him from that moment on and as this mother prepares for the FIRST birthday she rejoices in a full year with the sweetest boy i've ever met, aside from my husband of course! 

This child of mine is a rare treasure.

Some mornings are made extra special when accompanied by 'I love lucy' and a giant cup of coffee. But not before a quiet moment with the Lord being reminded of this journey to a closer relationship.  It's the most incredible thing to have Him daily.  That he willingly pursues me knowing the past, present, and future.

There are issues out of my control that leave me with high blood pressure and an exhausted husband. (poor man has to hear all that is wrong with this world when he knows for himself) I won't get into details but this morning as tired eyes skimmed line after line of a most disturbing story I fumed.  My anger only grew with the next story and the one after that.  I forgot though..my enemy is not against people..but against satan who has skillfully crafted lie after lie that has led to a disturbing corrosion of this once fine country and world.  As a follower of Christ I struggle with loving people and yet not accepting certain behaviors that go against God's word. 

I can hardly stand to read the news these days but the growing conflict around the world rings louder.  I'm so deeply hated by people in Afghanistan,  I'm deeply hated by a community of gays and transgender, I'm deeply hated by a group of Atheists, and deeply hated by a group of people who believe in having the choice to abort a life when it's not convenient for the mother. 

I'm hated. and this realization stings but brings comfort because it shows that I am right where Jesus said i'd possibly be.

John 15:18

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

When Jesus walked this earth he was seen performing the most wonderful miracles.  Caring for people and reaching out to them was his ministry.  He was incredibly bold to religious leaders along with coming to earth in the most unusual way.  He was hated for speaking the truth to people because it got under their skin and he called sin just that..sin. They could not even find fault in him but still crucified him.

I am His.  And from early on I knew this was part of the deal for following Christ.  As my freedom begins to feel like someone is choking the life out of it I have to remember what this world did to my Savior and his followers then.  If you're feeling slightly in the same boat as me be encouraged by the fact that Jesus wasn't silenced by the grave.  That grave did not Keep him and he did just what he set out to do, bring us life.  Don't walk through life feeling hopeless remember the hope we have in Christ and share His love with everyone you come to meet.  Bask in his glory and enjoy this daily walk alongside of him.  Don't grow weary when this world seems to be falling apart, look to the God who has and will always remain.

Thanking God for this reminder today!

Praying for you that you'd be strong and continue to seek Him.

~Laura~



  Throw a load in the washer.

Pay a bill.

It's 6:20am and i'm awake, such a rare event for this girl.

I plop the little peanut in his chair and pull it near the living room, put on my workout clothes and my own trainer steps in (Jillian Michaels of all people!) and we begin all of that fun cardio, strength, and ab training.  The little one begins to laugh as I am jumping around and it makes for one of my most favorite workouts yet.  I work harder and make silly faces because if i'm honest I already look ridiculous!

We have a morning full of smiles and fun and i'm loving him better as i've embraced the blessing of being a mother.

The night before I sit in bed reading a magazine article about Aaron Shust http://www.todayschristianmusic.com/artists/aaron-shust/audio/aaron-shust-story-behind-the-song-my-hope-is-in-you/ whose child has gone through health problems and faced the shadow of death with his son.  It's hard to picture being in that situation so I thank God over and over for this whole year with my son and I don't want to take for granted these healthy days. 

We had a wonderful trip to Indiana and Wisconsin. The days we traveled went smoothly and well worth all the trouble of a full day of plane and bus rides! I'd do it again in a heartbeat. :) It was really nice to come home and get settled back in with my man.  He let us know we were missed.

Sadly he found the freezer meals a few days short of when we returned and only ate corn dogs and frozen pizza most of the days. ...ladies i DID leave a note card of instructions ha. 

My mom and I had a blast doing a new craft project together and I loved doing this. 

I love learning from her because she is beyond creative. It's only taken me all of my life to finally start learning this stuff from her. She was very patient with me and didn't get annoyed when I messed up!

My mom has become special to me these last few years since I moved away and I absolutely treasured our time together. I love that woman more and more and am learning a lot from her about motherhood, being a better wife, and friend.  I'm glad to have her.

I spent a lot of time with my younger brother Timmy and we had a blast! He isn't so little anymore standing well over 6 feet, i don't even remember the inches! but he's one of my best friends.  We caught up on 'The Office' and cracked up the whole time.  We also played super Nintendo with great ideas to beat a game..we didn't but it was fun to laugh and spend time with my brother.

He is growing into such a fine young man and i'm extremely proud of him. 

I had a WONDERFUL birthday Wednesday.  It was nice to dress up and go out for dinner with my husband.  He also gave me a Barnes and noble gift card that I can't wait to use.  Not sure what i'll get yet. :) I also had plenty of phone calls, texts, and facebook notes to make the day even more special. 23 feels weird and i'm not a fan of getting older but i'm sure God will smooth over those fears later down the road. Right now we have so much other things we're dealing with.

I feel like i'm walking in a season of fullness and it's not like anything drastic has happened in my circumstances just a different attitude.  I am embracing this life God gave me with everything in me these days.

I am digging deep into His word, devotionals, fun magazines about parenting, marriage, friendships, organizing, and so much more.

I am a homemaker and it's a full time job.  It's either going to be done well or poorly and i'm thankful to finally be sorting through this area in my life.  I've given myself grace and am making changes to how I run this home.  It's getting organized room by room and i'm figuring out a better way to keep up with daily chores.  Serving God in this area is just as important to Him as going on a missions trip I believe.  I want my home to be warm and inviting and always ready for God to use. 

Well as soon as I wash the dishes Garrett and I will be heading to a thrift store to see if we can find something cheap for in the kitchen. I have a few boxes of baking things that have no place to go and it's driving me nuts! Hopefully we'll find something.

We are FINALLY buckling down and going on a budget. I am thrilled about this decision after meeting with a family at church about how to set up a financial plan. Thankful for their willingness to help us out.  I know having peace financially is important in a marriage and although discipline isn't fun always this will be a blessing in the long run. 

For the free spirited spender in me this will be hard (I don't go crazy but I like to pick up things here and there that I don't really need).  I am excited about my own 'fun money' and being able to pick and choose how I will spend that in a month.

Alright well those dishes won't wash themselves so i'd better go! I'll chat with you again soon :).

Laura

She brings me an afghan and places it on me, tucking it in around my achy legs. 

Still my favorite mom after all these years. :) 

She knows the balance of compassion and discipline..she gets it and i'm blessed because of it.

She created a safe harbor for her family. A place of peace and rest in a broken world.  My father and her worked hard to provide this home for their children. It's never been a particular home but wherever God brought us their love bloomed and our home was safe.

I did my best growing here and it hasn't changed.

I'm on a vacation and it's allowing me time to rest once again.

*I've picked up a good book

'One thousands Gifts' (Ann Voskamp)

*I'm listening to soothing music all day

 *chatting with my momma keeping her company.

 *loving my sweet 11 month old who can't get around fast enough for his liking but having a great time.

We are enjoying this trip to say the least.

I pray you have a place like this or that you can create a similiar atmosphere wherever you find yourself.  I was blessed with protection and love for 23 years.  I'm really working hard to build that in my own home.  My home is with Darren and even though I find that my strength in Christ is renewed when I come visit with my family I love to be with my man.

After half a day of traveling we arrived safely and now will remember fond memories of good conversations with strangers.  I'm glad we talked and didn't ignore the other.  Having a baby seems to make starting a conversation easier, wouldn't you agree?

I spent the day open hearted to God allowing Him to pour his word in.  I've Settled into the couch with a heart full of words to write that make it safely to my word document that reads:

"My Book"

Finally I have embraced this place that leaves my heart skipping a beat every time it comes to mind.  That i've dared to be vullnerable and carry no fancy title or degree.  I'm simply a young girl with a meaningful message to share. 

My intentions are to love and encourage woman across the world. 

A passion to see another life come together as a result of these words would be incredible.

If you know me then you'll believe me when I say my prayers go before and after each page written.  I go back and re-read reminding myself to have patience and grace for myself through this process.  It takes time and life still happens as I write to you. 

I pray it would be recieved well if that's His will.

It's going to be an adventure and one I want to share with the ones who have seen me grow over the years. (you) :) 

I don't know what God will do with all these words and my story but if all falls short at least I will have grown closer to God because of it. 

Laura



(Sorry for the short break but I needed it :). Although I have a lot to catch up on we will just pick back up where we left off and move ahead.)


Jan 19

I bend over and whisper a prayer of thanks for daddies, mommies, grandparents, family, playing with sweet Caroline and William Heidt, a good day, and I ask for rest and an fun adventure tomorrow.  He stares back at me looking with wonder.  I kiss his sweet cheek and pull the covers around him a little more snug.  Where has this last year gone to I wonder.

He is getting big but I savor these days and with the constant reminder that they will go by quickly I don't want to miss a beat.  So today I thank the Lord for this chance to stay at home with my little one.  To be there every step of the way and not have him miss me during the days has been a gift.  We sacrifice with our one income but we're happily making it work and seeing God provide.    
I was able to choose this path that's not often taken by mothers in our culture and i'm well aware of how special it is.
I will have 18 years (God willing) before my baby leaves and in those years I have a vital role to be there to teach him, love him, provide a safe home, and care for him.  God entrusted me with Garrett and equipped me with the knowledge on how to care for him.  It's really an incredible thing.  (In no way am I knocking working mothers, I know some families need that extra income)
Today I saw a statement by a mother who was feeling less then worth it as a mom because of the way our culture views a mom as 'just a mom'.  I wanted to reach through the computer screen and hug her and let her know that she has been given one of the most selfless jobs out there but also the most rewarding.  At the end of our lives as mothers this world will not be cheering us on and rewarding our work as a mother but let me tell you God will be if you did your job well.  He is the one that ultimately cares that you do this job well and embrace it daily.  Don't miss out on these precious years of a child, they go by too quickly.

~*~

I had a history lesson today and came to learn the special role our military plays.  You always hear about supporting our troops and having pride in the military but it wasn't until today that I came to grips with why. The declaration of independence was a wonderful thing documenting our freedom from Britain but it wasn't until years later that our military men FOUGHT for it.  Britain didn't look at that piece of paper and say 'oh you want your freedom? okay sure here you go..'  No..we had to fight for it.  Men died on the way to earning that freedom and in Yorktown is when we finally gained our freedom years after the declaration of independence was signed.  Not because of Congress did we gain freedom, because of our military men.  (Thanks to my brother in law Dave who this past summer brought us around VA showing us site after site of history, helped tied together some loose ends!)

1% of men and women now serve in the military (Very close to this, if I'm wrong please correct me) and they are a VERY special group of people.  To give up their freedoms of a nice warm couch and t.v. and trade it for a life in a ship sleeping in a cold place away from home around 10 other guys..for us. Risking their lives and some dying.  It's amazing that they sacrifice daily freedoms like growing facial hair, wearing civilian clothes, time away from family so that we have freedom. Without these people I wouldn't be able to write freely probably.

And you know what I was told today? That God hand chose this woman to be a navy wife.  I don't walk around with much pride but I think gaining this respect is very appropriate and well deserved.  My husband falls in this 1% and I think he's awesome for that.  I get to support him as a Sailor and make his home a safe haven away from the stress of work.  I get to love him and be the Martha Washington (you'll have to read up on her story of going to see George Washington when he was away) in this story.  I know that God has led us to this hard stinky sometimes not fair lifestyle...but his ways are higher then mine and I'm really thankful to find myself right where He wanted me. 

Until next time, I pray you're doing well and growing in your faith and relationships!

Laura