{In a moment}

I have lived 23 wonderful years on this earth.

I was raised in a home with a father and mother who loved, encouraged, corrected, and forgave like Christ.

I have four siblings who are the greatest people I know.  Two sisters, Two brothers..they're my favorite. They loved me too, and God used them time after time to lead me out of valleys and to celebrate with when we reached the mountain tops.

I had this desire for a husband like no one I know.  With all my wild plans of becoming a pastors wife God led me to a sailor.

At the age of 19 I wore a white dress and married my man. I have a husband who is stubborn enough to have kept me for almost 4 years.  They have been years of coming to terms with who I am and doing all of my best growing right smack dab in front of this man...who still can look me in the eyes and tell me how he loves me after the heartbreak I caused Him.

My man hasn't had any health scares, is laid back, loyal, and thinks he is the funniest thing around town. He is both charming and handsome.

I thought we were going to part ways at month 3 but as things would work out we have had almost 4 years and we're in love.

When I was 21 my life consisted of rubbing a very large belly and dreaming about tiny socks and onesies.  As my husband was away defending our country I was praying Him through and writing to him often about how wonderful pregnancy was.  I had heartburn but it was no cause for complaints.  That baby in me was healthy!

I only had one scare when that red stained and my heart sunk.  I told God I still loved him no matter what the doctor would tell me.  And when I heard that heartbeat I cried and rejoiced in my God's sovereignty. The nurse told me she was amazed at the calm in me.  All I could do was smile.

My husband returned in time for the arrival our our handsome son Garrett.

He came out and we locked eyes and as I shivered the tears strolled down in that most beautiful moment of my entire life.

He is over 14 months old now and he has been a happy and healthy child.  We love on him all the time and spoil him like no ones business! Every single stinking day that boy gets a most welcoming greeting from His daddy and plenty of hugs and kisses.  He doesn't see his extended family much  but I have seen first hand how God has redeemed that lost time.

I have known Jesus as my Savior for almost 18 years. 

He has allowed each moment of my life to happen exactly this way.

He must have smiled when I told Him my plans for how this life would go even still as of last week.

He knows the plans for my life.

Jeremiah 29:11

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

He has given me

23 years

a singing voice

two eyes to see

hair to fix

two working legs and two working arms

a heart that has not failed

a soul that loves deep

a family

a faith

a plan for my salvation

But lately i've stayed up late thinking about how in mere minutes this whole life could look very different.

I could die

Garrett or Darren could be taken

We could lose everything we own

sin could shatter

I could face news of never being able to have another baby

I don't live in fear but God has been leading me to treasure what I have in this moment. 

Do you know how freeing it is to choose to live fully in the here and now and walk joyfully throughout your day giving thanks?

I kiss that little guy extra much lately and hug my man in a stretched out fashion.

I don't look at our military life as hard but as a calling and one to which we are answering with no complaint.

So love extra much today friends.  Savor the sweet moments throughout your day.

Know that in a moment life can change but that God is sovereign and will shower you with hope.

I have plans but so does God, and his are always to give me a future and a hope.

I love you all so much!

Laura

{Sacrifice}

2. a. Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sacrifice

{Selfless}

Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/selfless

I was sitting outside tonight thinking about motherhood and how today was really hard.

 All I wanted to do was drop my teething toddler off at a family members house and drive away for a cup of coffee and time alone.

Unfortunately all of our family lives hundreds of miles away.

I don't have an easy job.

Sometimes I down play my role as a mother because its not the most glorified job.

But it's an honorable one and requires much sacrifice and a selfless heart.

All evening I wanted to grab a book and sit outside and soak up this beautiful day without a whiny baby grabbing on my leg throwing himself on the ground.

I wanted to be selfish.

In fact at one point I lost my cool and scolded Garrett harshly because I was angry that he was getting in the way of a beautiful evening outside.

Normally he is calm and happy but teething Garrett is a very different child.

Then the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart and I felt so bad for losing my cool.

I immediately crawled down to the floor where my boy was sitting and told him how sorry mommy was and asked him to forgive me for being frustrated.

Then I reached both arms out and squeezed him tight while planting a huge kiss on his forehead.

Then we loaded that little mouth of his with more orajel and I forgot about the book and sunshine and played on the ground with him all night.

It was good to lay down what I wanted for the sake of my child.

He needed me.

Having a responsibility of care taking 24/7 is exhausting and there are moments I want to crawl into a hole when i've messed up but I see how much love my child has for me even when I mess up.

He really wants to make his momma happy and when he disappoints it breaks his heart.

I'm learning and working through the selfish side of me.  I'm thankful that mothering comes natural though, that its normally easy to love and lay down my own wants out of concern for my child.

One day when he is leaving my home i'll be amazed at how time flew but for now I need to simply soak up these days, even the ones full of tears and sore mouths.

If you're a mom know that your role is special and requires much of you but it will be worth it.

The days are long but the years are shorter so treasure the moments.

I am praying for a full nights rest for my little man.

How are you praying for your own today?

Laura

He coughs and dry heaves then calls out, 'Mammaa'. 

My heart aches as hands rub the back of his head and back. Its easy to comfort a sick child even as the mind races.  That mother instinct is wonderful and without giving much thought you are in motion, rubbing, soothing, whispering, 'its okay sweet boy, momma is here'.

Another cool wash cloth, change of the sheets, but laundry at 3:00am doesn't disrupt a mother.

It's a blessing.

Not the sickness..but the child who has a working immune system, who is calling out to his mother.  Who is now feeling better and smiling once again.

It was an honor to spend the night up with my sick child, because I knew that somewhere there was a mother longing for her child and would give anything to sit up with them one last time.  I don't understand why some people see such pain but here is what i'm learning..

it can all change in a moment.

That's why with each day...one day at a time...we can both learn to embrace

Our God

Our families

Our jobs

Our gifts

Our days

Even our pain

Call me crazy, but this embracing makes life worth living.

We're encouraged to embrace wherever it is we find ourselves and choose an attitude where God's light can come pouring forth.

~*~

I ran today with a new pair of shoes.  They're incredible and I ran harder and faster then ever before.  i was beyond happy as my legs were supported and felt no aches from the pounding on the pavement.

I had worn those old tennis shoes for over 4 years!

They fit, were comfortable, and easy to slip on. 

I knew what to expect out of them.

But my knees and ankles were suffering, so I finally chose to take care of the problem and invest in a new pair of shoes.

only $20 :)

Did you know that changing an attitude is similar to getting into a new pair of shoes?

This life can be hard, you already know that though.

But maybe today you need to get out of the comfortable attitude you always choose that leads you to feeling discouraged in the end..and try on a new attitude of joy.  That fits well and allows you to run the race in life and when we come to the finish line you can slip off those shoes and hear how well you did by the most High King.

Hope you're encouraged tonight!

Laura



I grabbed my computer and headed outside to soak up this gorgeous day!

I wish you could join me but you'll have to take my word when I say it's perfect out here.

I was tempted to sit back and soak it up alone while my boy naps but I have a story too good not to share with you!

We headed out for a morning jog/walk and my mind was wrapped around stories like these.. 

http://wendymayo1.wordpress.com/

Her 12 year old son passed away

and this one too..

http://www.wavybel.blogspot.com/

A young husband passed away from a stroke, he had been on a run with friends.

These stories reminded me of how quickly our lives can change.  Its why I want to soak up these days because tomorrow or even this afternoon my whole world could look very different. The thing that was the most encouraging was these two stories were of faith in Christ still.  They had not lost hope completely and that was encouraging after seeing what their circumstances were.

But as feet pounded pavement my words went up to God like this,

'lord don't let my life be in vain, I always want to be ready for that moment when we meet.'

We continued on and I prayed for the families and others and was lifting up thanks for my own health today.  I started thinking about all that has been going on lately and lost in thought I looked over and saw a road leading to somewhere we hadn't been yet.  Normally I stay on the same route to be safe because it's comfortable and I know what to expect.

I like being comfortable.

:)

But I ran a little quicker as the houses around the corner were as i'd say fabulous!  I started thinking about how right now this reflects the path i'm taking in life..experiencing something different.

A little further this picture unfolded..

I don't know if you're following but when this came into view I started beaming!

This park was there all along but I didn't want to take a different route because again, I love sticking with what's comfortable.

But what a fun place to discover. :)

Look at this little guy! He LOVED our new route that will now allow him time to get out of the stroller and play.

God blesses our obedience, i'm convinced of that!

So trust Him today and know that around the corner of obedience a blessing awaits.

Praying for you today!

Deuteronomy 31:8(NIV)

⁸ The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

 {How comforting}

Today I kept busy working outside like a mad woman..pulling up weeds and hauling huge 56 lb bags of mulch around to pour onto flower beds.  It was intense and sweat poured down rosy cheeks.  But I smiled and had a great time being distracted from life.

God is good in allowing us times of silence that we don't have to say much of anything.  I wonder what he thought as he watched upon his daughter working hard the land he created, I did wonder if it pleased him as much as me..or if he wished I could have seen how his earth was meant to be for me to enjoy without work..One day!

I had an intense morning among good friends.

But i'm glad for their support and encouraging words.  Some choices we make are plain old hard but having good friends helps smooth the way. I remember over a year ago when we first moved here and knew no one and I was praying hard that God would send the right people.  He brought an armful plus some to this girl.  I can't tell you how many wonderful friendships i've made since moving here. 

The variety of personalities among them make me smile the most.  They're all amazing in their own way.

My good friend and I walked this morning and talked about God's church and being in the military and finding a home church in the midst of moving every few years.  It's difficult but can be done.  Sometimes a year into being at one you may be called out in a new direction because that's the best for your family.  It's hard..REALLY hard for a girl like me.  I don't want to hurt anyone and I want to remain friends with everyone.  But sunday morning as i sat in a brand new church something sparked in me this happiness and I knew..just knew that was the peace i'd prayed for.  My man was happy and I can't explain what that does to me.

 The entire day our home could be described as happy.  It's now monday and we're still beaming.  That message I heard yesterday is still challenging me tonight and i'm mulling it over considering what it is that I need to let go of that hinders my walk with the Lord.

We talked about that morning's message and were open to each other. 

He liked having something more familiar even though he insists a church should have a gym. :) (God gave him that passion and love for sports and I believe one day God will use that for His glory.)

But knowing what we were leaving behind wasn't happiness to me, it is hard. I ran into this today though.

Much of life is about making choices, many times hard ones, and navigating the results. Don't regret the choices you make.

-Eric Thomas

How fitting, right?  Then it became clear to me.  This family of God's isn't broken down into smaller congregations that there'd be separation..No God intended us to be united as one body..That means ALL of his family.  I can still love and grow close to those that i've come to care for from the church we attended this last year. 

Good lessons being learned!

And here are some pictures of what was worked on around the home.

:)

I am tired! Goodnight friends :)

This melody has filled our walls this evening,

'I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back, the world behind me the cross before me..la la da da'

:) 

I hope they don't mind my singing but no one has protested at this point! 

Sometimes when your soul wells up you have to let out a hallelujah, right?!

Why that particular song? Well I like that in Christ I can choose to put the world behind me..i can put all of my past sin behind me...I can live freely from condemnation..only in Christ.

And it's only by Christ that I can know God in an intimate relationship. Not anything I can do.

Lets go deeper.

Tears were spilling over the rims of my eyes as I tried to type out words that God was sharing with me. 

'laura, don't you miss this stuff it's important!' I thought

 I was listening to a testimony by Kay Arthur.  I wanted to remember her words but mostly God's word that she had willingly shared.

"Sin will cost you more then you ever intended to pay and take you further then you ever wanted to stray"

                                            -Kay Arthur

Ouch.

More tears..

"Though your sins be a scarlet, you shall be as white as snow"

-Kay Arthur

Wow

More tears..

Word after word of truth came pouring forth sweet as honey and  hands shook as fingers tapped away at the keys. I wanted to catch all of God's truth because his word acts like a healing balm that this girl needed.

My past crippled me because I couldn't change it and thought i was defined by it. 

Choices made have consequences and it breaks my heart.  For years I have held onto the past, hanging those sins around my neck like the woman who wore the Scarlet letter around hers. 

I left it there.  I wasn't good enough and so I ate for comfort, I felt sorry,  I tried to mask hurt, but deep within the bondage was unbearable.

How could a christian who claimed to love the Lord feel this way often?

What was missing, I would cry out to God with clenched fists. Where was he so long ago..why did he let me make a mess!?  I demanded answers then and I must have looked pitiful.

But oh how He loves..and he already had a plan to bring me back...to a life full to the brim with freedom.

Kay Arthur also talked about how Sin angers God.  Whether it's done to us or by us and I find comfort in knowing that.  He hates it.  And when we chose to disobey him we became separated from him.  

He however had a way mapped out for us.  You may have heard this before..but listen..really listen,

He sent Jesus, his son to be our redeemer.

We were going to die and be separated from Christ for all of eternity.  That was our penalty.  

I stopped there.

I sinned and hung that Scarlet letter around the neck walking around in shame for years. 

Have you ever been there?  It hurts, right? Living life defeated is an awful way to live.

People start running to anything that will comfort that emptiness and try to heal themselves..alcohol, affairs, drugs, pornography, relationships, entertainment, money, you get the point.

We hurt when we don't know the rest of the story.

So lets go deeper.

The lord who heals calls us into a relationship with Him.  Through the Bible (his word) we discover the rest of this beautiful story.  We all heard about it this past Easter i'm sure.  The story of Jesus' death and resurrection.  

He comes to you and I and smiles at us..he must shake his head as he speaks 'I came that you would have life, in abundance' (John 10:10)  Then he reaches and pulls that sin we've been carrying around our necks and points to the cross.  His yoke is easy he says and burden light.  He draws us near with more words...

"I am Jesus Christ, your kinsman-redeemer" (Ruth 3).

Have you forgotten?  

Do you feel that?

Freedom

  It is the sweetest thing. He lifted that sign from around this neck as I bowed low. He will do it for you too.

Tears dropped onto my hand and shirt as I received the rest of the story into my heart.

The part about Grace, love, and joy..unspeakable joy.

This time it wasn't a glimpse of him only to end by the next afternoon, but a filling and desire to live out life fully following Him, knowing him.

No looking back because my sin is behind me, The cross is before me so there's no turning back..for I have decided to follow Jesus.

I will continue to fill these four walls with that melody as long as God gives me the voice to.

<3

I will definitely update you on our most recent change very soon! But know that we are doing really good, and prayers were answered.  

Until next time, know i'm praying for you! 

He is sitting in his chair eating french fries, eyes glued to the television.

Legs were folded neatly together while the heart admired the gift of motherhood.

Sometimes being a good mom is having a living room picnic while talking about our adventure to the library all while in watching the television. 

But that gift of being together was a treasure.

This is my life..

My greatest adventure

He grows and we teach him about love while pouring into him.  He will leave one day and if we've done what God called us to, he'll be just fine.

Being a parent is not simple. 

•Staying consistent

•Being the disciplinary

•Being an example to the sponge-like child

•loving on the hard days and through the straining moments

•Faithfully praying

•trusting God as they grow more independent from you

For now he thinks he's able to discover the world away from mom.  But it's my job to keep him safe.  I'm not letting these moments slip by.

I know they're going to go fast and so that's why on some occasions..

We make a mess in the kitchen and don't clean it up because i'm craving his giggles and he needs mom's attention.

We play chase instead of putting another load in the washer

Clutter piles up inside while we remain outside for the day.

It will get done in the late hours of the day when he's resting.

We're close.  Each day we wake up with huge smiles for each other and throughout the day we chat and laugh together. I teach him about boundaries and how to be gentle and kind.  We read books, try to learn sign language(he's not interested), we sit outside and he looks puzzled over a piece of grass between his fingers. We eat three meals together and he laughs throughout while I make silly faces meant for only him.  I laugh at his babbling.

He has always been laid back and easy going.

If he gets upset we tell him to pull it together but who can really reason with a one year old? :) We attempt to anyway!

His daddy comes home and he always hops up from whoever he is and lets out a screech of excitement while walking straight into the arms of his hero.

Every single day.

There's a man he calls dad that he can't get enough of.  And that dad is the second best father i've ever known.  I wish you could see those two together because you'd understand.

The evenings are full of playing, relaxing, with a short break for dinner.

I can't forget to thank God I'm reminded. 

{this is from Him to me}

What a gift for an undeserved girl!

Now this is grace lived out

~*~

If you're overwhelmed today as a mother

Remember that your child is a gift from the Lord so embrace them.

Treasure the days as their mother, don't speak poorly of them, pray for them always, and remember to give yourself grace daily.