This past week has been filled with the most peaceful days.

My little pumpkin having fun on his first Halloween.

We had a blast at his first Halloween party!

There's not a whole lot of projects you can do with an 8 month old but I took on a small one.  We taped a paper bag to the high chair, plopped him down and handed him a marker (with extra help).  He quickly let me know I had the wrong idea and that high chairs are for eating in, not coloring!  Silly mother! :) But I enjoyed it anyways.  

Tonight we were able finally capture Garrett's hand print with a 'first handprint' kit.  I am not the best at marking down memories but I want to remember that tiny hand! He has grown so quickly over the months and I'm longing for things to slow down.  The past 8 months have been full and I'm really enjoying motherhood.

~*~

I have been missing my mom a great deal lately.  It's funny how someone can become so dear to you when not too long ago you didn't get along much. (high school girls are sassy!) The navy has done more positive things in my life then i'd imagined possible.  One being how close I am with family.  You learn very quick not take for granted the time you do spend together and it's all the more special when you can get away to see each another.  I miss my mom though.  She pushes me like no one else, because she knows me the best.  The thing that is great about her is that she also loves.  She knows my breaking point and is right there to hug me and let me cry it out on her shoulder.  I love being her daughter because she's an incredible woman.  We've had our difference of course but I love that woman beyond belief!  A few months ago I was able to go spend some time in Indiana and see her but when she dropped me off at the airport it was heartbreaking.  I didn't want to go.  She makes me a better Laura and I feel home when I'm with her.  

Crafty, wise, funny, caring, home-body, hard worker, awesome cook, woman of God, loving wife and mother of five, and so much more.  When I think of someone that i'd like to be like it's always her.  Growing up I was blessed to have her as my mother.  She taught me about God and led me to know Him as my personal savior.  She gave me the greatest gift by loving my father.  She showed me Christ's love for 22 years.  When I disobeyed there was a punishment but when an apology came to her she forgave and we moved on never bringing it up again.  Things were resolved that day and It taught me how God forgives right away without needing time to think about it.  

Today we were able to talk on the phone and I loved bringing her good news from what's been happening where we are.  After I hung up the phone I wanted to pack the car up and head to indiana for a visit but know It will be a few months until we see her.  Did I already say I missed her!? But God still blesses our relationship and uses her time after time to mold me into the woman he has called me to be.  

I keep hoping and praying one day we'll find ourselves living close but I know God has called my little family away from Indiana for right now for his purpose.

Hope you're well! 

~Laura~

happy halloween

I have been enjoying this little guy more and more each day.  Tonight we went to a Halloween party (pictures will come later!) and I said, 'Garrett, can mommy have a kiss?' and he turned his head and leaned in and pushed his mouth on my cheek.  I couldn't stop smiling! He is growing and learning and giving kisses?! I didn't even think he knew what that meant but he's catching on quickly. 

We have enjoyed his first Halloween already so much already. We went to get pumpkins, went to a party, went to an amusement park for a free fun day, and are going trick or treating this monday evening.  I realize he is way too little but we're walking around with friends and i'm looking forward to it. :)

Garrett is sleeping through the night.  I feel refreshed in the morning! We put him down and  he is sleeping until around 7am.  It took a few nights of letting him cry it out but now he understands.  We spend a great deal of time together during the day and I get to love on him plenty but at night we need our time and sleep.  I'm really thankful that this has been a smooth transition.  I don't mind the occasional getting up for emergencies but every night for the last 8 months isn't good for our family. 

~*~

I hope you have a wonderful Halloween!   

What are they talking about I wonder? I peek into his room and see him babbling on and on while he sits next to his teddy bear.  These are the sweet moments I hold onto when life is hard.  The simplest things are sometimes the most joyful in my day.

~*~

I step on the scale and my heart sinks.  All that running and nothing...I realize that it's time to consider some diet changes but it's going to be difficult to show self control when food is so tasty! Know what I mean? 

The hardest part of this whole thing is the way satan has attacked my simplest belief that i'm good enough.  He tries to convince me of otherwise.  That is hard to deal with on a daily basis.  I want freedom with how I see myself, don't we all? I don't want to accept the lie that I am only beautiful at size __.  

Healthy is what I'm aiming for.

Who knew this would be such a battle though.  Thankful that it's a new day with opportunities to make better choices.

~*~

Garrett has never slept through the night completely. Normally we wakes up once or twice after putting him in bed and i'll normally nurse him back to sleep.  The hardest thing is knowing you're not doing yourself any favor but how do you break a bad habit? 

We just started to last night. :) I put him to bed last night and he stayed there until 7:30 this morning. He woke a few times crying but we let him cry it out which is actually more difficult then I expected. We're taking this next week to break a bad habit and I know we'll be thankful for this when he is two and sleeping through the night.  I don't mind the occasional times a child wakes in the middle of the night but for 8 months I have never slept through the night and it is not good for our little family.  

Although I woke every time he did I didn't leave my bed and when I got up this morning it was incredibly refreshing! 

And if you can believe it he was even more happy when we got up early to eat and play.  

I'm making mistakes daily, i'm sure of it but i'm thankful for the people who come alongside of me and gently correct me or show me a better way. 

~*~

I love getting letters in the mail.  They're something to hold onto and it's the thought someone put into sending me their words that I love.  I've received a few letters from a distant relative named charles who is one of the sweetest old men I've had the pleasure of talking with.  He has mentioned my great-grandma meske quite a bit and how much she loved me. I remember her very well and miss her so much.  In his latest letter he talked in detail about our family history and it was so neat to learn those things.  Charles was married for 64 years but this last year his wife passed away and he said that things don't work the same without her around.  I hope Darren will think the same when I'm gone. Anyways all that to say it has been a blessing to write and receive these letters.

Well I should get going, hope you have a wonderful day! 

~Laura~

He is almost 8 months and is extra cute and cuddly lately. Unfortunately for me he is also discovering the world leaving no time to snuggle with mom. So I do what any mom would and trick him into snuggling by reading book after book because that's the closest I'm going to get! :) He hasn't caught on yet..

We've been letting him roam around his room and the independence is perfect for him.  He enjoys having 'his time' and I realize it's good for him to not have me always right there.

We've also been walking more and we found a gem of a place!   

He was a little sleepy at this point.

My favorite!

My smile was pretty big at this point. I love a good walking/running trail.

He's so happy! 

Such a pretty place

The trail runs around a lake and is absolutely beautiful! Garrett seems to enjoy taking walks and i'm making more of an effort to carve out time in our days to see new things.

This weekend we are going to a pumpkin patch and I have no expectations other then sitting Garrett next to a pumpkin and snapping a picture. I'm really looking forward to spending time with my two guys though. 

~*~

The clock reads a number I knew he wouldn't want to see. Debating whether to wake him I finally whisper his name into the dark.

 'hmph?' 

"Can I talk to you for a minute? I'm worrying about ____."

He listens and even offers a solution to help because he knows how much this person means to me.  I'm blown away with the extent he is willing to help. 

We kiss goodnight and I roll over now at peace.

"Remember this Laura..don't forget"

I start crying as I whisper to my husband that he is a good man. He needs to hear it.

How do I forget the good things about him whenever he fails to meet my needs? But i'm learning as I stumble through these first years of marriage and It's my prayer that God would continue to mold me into the wife he intended me to be.  

Enjoy your weekend!

I glance out the window and see it jetting out of the ground.  Leaping up I startle the little guy. Where has that old camera gone to now? Guess my cell phone camera will do this time.  

*Click*

There..I got it. As I admire it my heavenly father is remembering his promise.   It feels special to know what he is thinking. He won't flood the world again, no matter how bad things get.   

Genesis 9:8-17

The Message (MSG)

 ^8-11 Then God spoke to Noah and his sons: "I'm setting up my covenant with you including your children who will come after you, along with everything alive around you—birds, farm animals, wild animals—that came out of the ship with you. I'm setting up my covenant with you that never again will everything living be destroyed by floodwaters; no, never again will a flood destroy the Earth."
 ^12-16 God continued, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I'm putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."
 ¹⁷ And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant that I've set up between me and everything living on the Earth."




Thank you Lord for this sweet reminder.  Thank you for setting your rainbow in the sky and making it beautiful for all to see.

~*~

Today was especially fun because this baby played in his room after mommy organized it! He seemed to enjoy playing with the toys in his basket and reading books.  He is push-up crawling..can you picture that? It's pretty excited to watch him move but my husband and I have both been getting a workout as we get up and down quite often to chase him. What will it be like when he is walking?  

I hope you are having a good weekend. 

My evening has been full :) running at the gym, playing the game speed with Darren, and now being his teammate for a madden tournament. Yeah the last one is out of pure love for him. ;) 

He is teaching in the midst of my discontentment.

Tired eyes scroll down a long list of real estate postings.  "There has to be something for us".  Sticker shock begins to settle in but we try to adjust our high hopes to fit into any home in our budget. I can see them shaking their heads in disapproval.  I can even understand when they say, 'What will you do when the military moves you?', 'It's a big financial commitment', 'That's probably not the wisest decision'.  

We look at each other after spotting a dream home and both get giddy with excitement.  A Yard!? A garage!? How many rooms? whoa!.  We smile and talk about what it would be like to have a home.  My husband is confident and determined.  I admire his profile while he talks.  Are we really dreaming of our future together again? I smile as I remember a previous conversation the other day. We sat quietly in the car, 'We've only been married three years and all of these things have happened, we still hopefully have like 47!, cool'. He doesn't talk much which drives me out of my sweet loving mind! Returning to the search I tell him it would be so nice to own a home. 

But we're living on one income that down on paper doesn't look like much.  I know in my heart we can't buy a home.  I know God isn't leading us in that direction today.  

Eyes shut tight, head drops to my hands slowly. "Lord, i want a place on a wall to mark my children's growth.  I want to be in the same place for more then two years.  I want my own home.  To paint, remodel, and make it our own.  I want room for people to gather and grow."  

I still dream...

I reach for that small bible that has become like a good friend.  Hands extend quickly when spotted.  Flipping through the noisy pages I find his words.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress my God, in whom I trust." (psalm 91:1-2 emphasis mine)

Leaning back I am nothing but thankful for the reminder that He is my home.  He has heard my words and cares.  I browse around my home now and am reminded he lead us here a year ago.  That it's actually a beautiful place to call home.

She adores.

~*~

He's looking out the window, banging on it in excitement. He smiles. My heart is grateful.  I fill his silence with silly noises that make him giggle.  Our days written out don't look like much accomplished, but we're happily growing together.  Mother tales can seem boring to the reader but spend an afternoon with an adoring child and you'll want to tell everyone what they did that made your day.  Watching a child discover the world is a gift from above.  I love treating him like royalty each day we've had together.  

She runs.

~*~

Setting goals and seeing progress is amazing.  It's a reminder that hard work pays off and to keep going! My legs are growing stronger through what seems to be endless minutes of running, but it feels great!

She learns.

~*~

To never be proud.  Aren't we all one step away from falling into sin? But here's what I've decided.  When things are a mess, Let it be, surrender your rights to God, then commit every moment to following Him.  Dust off that old book and discover Him again.  Be in awe by the simple things like how he thinks your worth being kept. (Isaiah 41:9-10)

She's forgiven.

~*~

Kneeling down before God when necessary is freeing.  Accepting His forgiveness and fleeing from anything that's causing sin can actually be hard though.  Selfishness is deeply rooted in me and it'll take time to dig out those roots and allow them to be replaced with beautiful things only God gives.

She gives thanks.

~*~

For my husband, my son, my home, family, friends, fall, health, freedom, 22 years, for this blog, and for His grace that extends daily.

She prays

~*~

In knew ways. Without ceasing and it continues on into the late hours of the night like two old friends catching up. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) She lifts up hurting friends to Him, asks for guidance and help to overcome what appears to be mountains.  Gives praise and thanks more then ever before.

She worships

~*~

Eyes closed, sitting down, she lifts her hand symbolizing surrender to her King.  A song plays, 'Sovereign king, reign in me' and she sings to him hoping it will be a sweet sound in his ears.

She writes

~*~

To encourage

"The enemy pursues me, 

he crushes me to the ground;

he makes me dwell in darkness

like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me;

my heart within me is dismayed."

Psalm 143:3-4

"Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? 

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and portion forever."

Psalm 73:23-26