To my sweet nine that will forever have my heart...
I have loved each of you since the moment we met.

Braeden you are the last of the first four that I was aunt 'woorra' to and I cherish our close bond.  You are my sweet tooth little man that loves Jesus dearly! You remind me of the simple truth that God wants me to know always. Thank you for making me want a little boy someday! I miss you more than words can say. I will always cherish throwing you around and hearing your giggles.

Zach you are the most adventurous little man around! I have watched you grow over the years and loved being your aunt.  You are sweet to me always and always shared your toys with me.  I love listening to your stories or seeing the excitement in your eyes when I walk through the door. Thank you for loving me! I love being one of your biggest fans.  Do you remember when we had a movie night? I miss you

 My precious Em...you were the first.  I was only 10 but boy did I L O V E you! My heart melted when we were together.  You were the first I sang to and rocked to sleep.  Your heart is gold sweet girl! You are a light in the darkness, don't stop flashing that beautiful smile! I can't believe you're big enough to write letters to me now! Love you :)

You are my partner in crime dear Faith.  I have loved you for so long.  Thank you for crawling in my lap always and snuggling up to me.  I remember when you were sick for so long and I would cry because we didn't know what was wrong.  Then we almost lost you and my heart was broken with fear but I prayed and prayed for you. You always wanted to be near me and I felt the weight of how wonderful being an aunt is.  You wouldn't eat and for awhile it seemed all the conversations were centered around you eating and i'm sorry that you were actually sick.  We are grateful that with time you have been getting healthier!
Thank you for wanting to hang out with me and watch 'I love lucy' or simply sit and chat.  I have endless pictures of us being completely goofy! Thank you for the memories and I can't wait for the ones ahead. You blessed me sweet girl.

 Oh my wonderful hilarious Rory! Thank you for giving me a fair dose of belly laughs to last me a lifetime. You are a gift if i've ever known one.  Your heart is tender and it amazes me how you are learning to love those around you with such patience.  I loved living with you for one whole month and learning you.  I miss playing games or reading books.  I miss the smell of your hair while you snuggled in my lap to listen to a story.  You took me in right away as your aunt laura and it made me too happy!

Little Evie you are growing and growing each day but you're just always going to be my little Evie.  Don't lose that spunk girl because it makes you set apart from the rest in a beautiful way.  I miss playing dress up and being served 3 course meals or having tea parties. Do you remember when we painted your toenails and when we went to the park to play? I miss you little one and laying on the bed watching Cinderella over and over again.  We're miles and miles apart but I still love you deeply.

 To my grady who I love dearly...you are missed by aunt L! Your smiles and giggles are engraved in my heart and bless me on the days i'm feeling down.  You are growing quickly but I will always cherish that first smile when you came to me and let me hold you. I can't wait to see where you go in this world and how you grow over the years. We may be apart but I am thinking of you often and praying that you'd know how loved you are by me!

Maeli you aren't like any other child and I love that.  You're creative and have the sweetest songs to share.  I am so thankful for being able to be your roommate for that week we visited.  I learned so much about you and we had great conversation about all sorts of things. I could have listened to you talking all night! Thank you for talking to me on the phone every now and then because it fills the gap of distance and makes me feel near again.  I wish that I could spend more Saturdays sitting in the grass watching you play soccer or seeing you learn new things.  I wish that i could steal you for a weekend. I may be states away but sweet girl you have my heart.



Logan my newest nephew! I didn't know it could be possible to love so many but you have a special place in my heart.  I will always savor the times I snuggled you and soaked in your new baby smell.  I thank God that I could be there for your birth and see my big sister become a mommy!  I have seen your grow through pictures but I haven't missed a beat dear one.  I can't wait to see you again and love on you! It won't be long now :). 

God blessed me first with 9 sweet children that make me happier than I could ever write down in words.  I hope that i'm that aunt to them that God calls me to be. I have started to pray for each of these little ones.  I miss each of them dearly but it allows me to cherish our relationships all the more!

Love,

aunt laura

 I'm here! It's around 11pm but I have an overflowing heart to share and my baby boy is fast asleep so here it goes..

We spend a lot of time together and i've come to realize how my heart simply aches with love for Garrett.

He is constantly revealing this gummy grin that cracks me up! He is happy 75% of the time but lets be real..he has fussy moments that make me want to pull my hair out! So I've come to really treasure the quiet moments in the day.  My house has been a disaster and I can't seem to catch up with the laundry! Does it ever end? Do you ever feel buried in it too? But sometimes I stop and remember this time with my son won't last forever and so I get down on his level and play for now while the dishes pile up and laundry overflows the hampers.  I eventually get around to taking care of the mess but i'm enjoying Garrett during these days that are flying by.
Darren and I have been enjoying each other so much lately.  We've been laughing a lot together and that in itself is a wonderful thing for a relationship! He has been incredible in listening to my late night thoughts or questions about things i'm reading.  He came home the other night with an incredible gift! It was a collage of a bunch of maternity pictures and then a nice picture of Garrett on the end.  It was really thoughtful and brought a huge smile to my face.  

This is hanging on my fridge...  

Seeing this each and every morning has been a blessing.  I'm reminded that i'm already accepted by God and have a purpose. I have such a fear of rejection and it at times makes me miserable. I decided to write this verse down and fight the temptation to believe the constant lies that i'm not good enough.  I recently began reading my bible (a plan to read it in one year) every day and have been amazed with how much God is revealing to me.  I am his student each day as I open His word and there are days I want to hug Him and tell Him how thankful I am for loving me when I don't deserve it at all. I came to this point where I was really hungry for God and wanting so much more of him in my life.  Well when I was reading in Matthew the other day I came across this;
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled"  Matthew 5:6

I have been richly blessed through God's word and the lives of those i've read about in the Bible so far.  I am tired of trying to prove that God exists, to myself. I think that I would have been like peter in denying I knew Christ the day he was crucified for me.  I can hardly stand to admit that but I am no different than peter was.  I am so afraid to step out in faith and be totally committed to a life of serving God because I'm afraid of being rejected.  But God says you can't have both worlds.  I guess that i'm glad he's revealing the ugly parts of me so that they can be replaced with something beautiful.  He calls me to have faith in him and although it is hard He will provide strength.  So right now we agreed I would read the Bible everyday with an open heart. I have set aside all the footnotes and am just reading God's word. 

Last night I realized July 6, 2011 will mark 17 years of being saved.  I remember to this day when I was 5 years old and asking Jesus into my heart. Then I remember sitting on my mom's bed and her asking me a few questions to see if I really had.  I don't remember much from my 5th year of life but that moment stands out to me.
Maybe motherhood makes me more serious about knowing God as I am Garrett's teacher. (proverbs 1:8) I'm thankful for my quiet time right now and even though a stay at home mom isn't the most flattering to a world that compares success with how much money you are making but I know i'm exactly where God wants me to be, and that right now my job is to teach Garrett about Jesus.  I can't wait to see Garrett grow over the years but mostly I can't wait to see God reveal himself through the years and see the man He becomes in Christ. 

~*~

I have been feeling a little more daring lately so I decided to try my hand with a few projects.  This first one I didn't get a before picture but it was a silver dish that I picked up awhile back for a few dollars and I decided to spray paint it! It turned out great :).  I'm not sure what to do with it but for now it's holding some of my jewelry.

                                  

I will post better pictures but I painted our bedroom! Oh how I love it :).  I have since picked up picture frames to really tie the loose ends of the room. It is finally the romantic harbor I've been craving.

Alright well that's all for tonight! Have a wonderful night :)

Hey! I hope you're having one of those days where everything is right in your world!

I had one extra cute baby to take care of today. He is such a sweet child and I love how much time we've spent together. I try to make sure we have quality time filled with things that will be memorable when we look back. Some of those memories will be mommy trying to get baby to sleep longer and him refusing and after the battle goes on she finally gives in and gets out of bed. :) sound familiar?

I don't want to be sad all the time as time goes forward and my baby gets bigger.  He is growing out of clothes and i'm having to put them away in a plastic bag for now and it's sad.  So I prayed about it and God shed some light on the matter.

In my relationship with darren we have been through a little over four years of growth. Sometimes it's a pain to compromise, work on being selfless, but because of our efforts to love the other we grow and grow.  We have some very memorable times to look back on when we were just babies in this thing called marriage.  We are what I feel would be toddlers now and still very much in love. I don't spend time being sad looking back at the old feeling blue about the past because I love the here and now with Darren.  Being all here now is important to God.  It's okay to look back and think how much I loved my newborn and how little he was but there is so much happiness and joy in the here and now. Plus there is a TON to look forward to as he grows.  I want to love him to pieces at each stage and not feel like i'm losing him when in fact I am gaining more of him.  He is growing and along with each new stage or discovery God blessed me to be his biggest fan!  It will be a daily choice to choose to be all here in the now even when I don't feel like it. :)

I think God is really neat. He is always the same but I am always learning new things about Him.  I don't have it figured out but i'm at a place in my life where i'm learning how sovereign he is in the midst of the crazy. 

This world's happenings are scary and I mean terrifying! I do wonder what's going on sometimes and then I remember...sin. That tiny word that causes natural disasters, murder, pride, wars, worry, and on and on the list goes.  But God is in control and nothing happens that he does not let.  For the time being until he returns it's going to be a sinful place where satan reigns but Its my prayer that in this small sphere I live in that people would come to have a relationship with God and see that he really loves them.  That Jesus already died to save us because of our sin..and that we can live eternally with him.  It's hard to get over the fact that there is no religious acts you have to do when you want to follow God but that it's accepting him in your heart.  Then moving on it's him growing you through time in the bible and prayer and fellowship with other believers.  I love seeing people serving in the community and not just sitting comfortably. I believe God is at work in all sorts of ministries so that people can hear there is hope for a better life.

phew! That was a lot of thought for this zombie looking mom. :) Today I cleaned, organized G's clothes (halfway done), made a meal i'm proud of!, and cleaned a little bit more.

Have a great night! 

Laura 

My baby is growing faster than I'd like but I love when he learns new things! Today he was following with his eyes a toy that we were looking at and he will focus on a camera trying to figure it out.  I have a hard time looking at pictures when he was first born because I LOVED how tiny and small he was.  I loved the feelings of 'new mommy'.  But now i'm LOVING confident mommy and seeing Garrett catching on to new things.  He is still little and we're soaking up the time with books, lullaby's, talking, smiling at each other, loads of kisses, and we snuggle all the time.  During the first two months I haven't missed out and have enjoyed being a mother.  Mother's day is around the corner and it's my first one! Garrett doesn't understand but in a way all those smiles towards me let me know he loves and trusts me.  That is the best gift for a new mom, to know you're doing something right!
I went to target this week and picked out a few new shirts. I have been feeling rather dumpy lately and needed a few new cute things. God works in really neat ways though. On sunday I opened a package from my sister in law Ej and it was the cutest sweater! Monday I wore it..yes it was in the 80's and I was sweating but oh boy did I feel cute and I needed that! She picked it up for me out of the blue but it was perfect timing. I'm really blessed! And then I had a friend send me a really sweet card that was very encouraging.

Darren was going to be going to a C-school this coming monday and when I found out months ago it made me really sad.  After the initial shock of finding out I accepted it and was supportive.  About a month ago I was having a hard time with him going for almost four months and him not being able to be with Garrett and I. I didn't want to say anything to him because as a navy wife I wanted to be supportive of his career.  So..I prayed that night and spilled my heart to God letting him know how much I would miss Darren and wishing there was someway he could stay home.  It turns out Darren was given an option to stay. 
There is a balance that is hard to learn as a navy wife. What's best of his career and what's best for your family. I don't think i'll ever master it. I know this school is good and it's awesome he was chosen but he didn't want to go away for more time because we know in the future he'll have to go away on workups/deployments.  I felt guilty for praying him to stay home and then seeing that answered! isn't that crazy? But I'm happy that he will be home not missing out on Garrett.  His chain of command is really great and very supportive of family which is not always something you'll find in the military. Sometimes it's all about what's best for excelling in your job.  And there is a time when the focus needs to be on career, i'm just glad he can be home right now.  They talked to Darren later about doing a school later if the timing works out.
We're going to be heading to Indiana to visit family for my brother's graduation. I'm so excited for everyone to meet Garrett and just to see everyone. I've missed my family a lot and it's been hard living far away.
Well i'm off to bed, have a good night!
laura

I love talking to Garrett about how cute as a button he looks, or how handsome daddy is, the weather we're having, or about his extended family but I LOVE talking to him about Jesus.  It brings joy into my heart speaking of the things Christ has done for us.  I am a really simple girl with an extraordinary gift from an Almighty God.  I look at Garrett with love everyday.  Now there are moments I am extremely tired and the thought of rolling over to go nurse him stinks but this child has my heart.  I am rewarded at four in the morning by a huge gummy grin and it melts my heart each time.  Who knew Garrett's happy time would be not only the day but also in the middle of the night?! 

The best advice a friend gave to me when I first had Garrett was to soak him up because the time would fly.  She told me to hold him and let the house chores go at times.  I'm glad that I listened to her because I love snuggling with Garrett and getting to know him more and more. 

My husband's job in the navy allows for me to be a stay at home mother.  This is the second greatest gift which my husband has given me.  I was thinking today how most of my friends from highschool are getting ready to graduate college this year and for the first time I didn't feel like I missed out.  Most people would tell me I should have waited to get married and have a baby until i'm at least 30 but I love the way my life has gone.  I met the love of my life at 18 and right after my 22nd birthday we had a baby boy.  God has blessed me so richly and although I don't hold a diploma in my hand and my closet is filled more with sweaters than business suits I am incredibly thankful to be where I am today.  I love what my friends have accomplished over the past four years and I hope one day to be able to study English so that I can take the next step in my dream of writing but for now I am soaking up this chapter in my life and loving it!

Everyday Garrett is changing and learning new things.  It's neat to see him making connections and starting to develop and as much as I want to keep him tiny forever, I'm excited for him.  I tell him all the time how I can't wait for the day he can talk (all you mothers of a 5 year old are probably thinking Oh no you don't! haha). I often am reminded that with every new stage comes wonderful fun things but also new challenges.  I know by God's grace we're going to be fine though. 

Lately i've been tearing up and random moments when I see how blessed I am. The other night Garrett woke up and Darren went over to him and the kid started grinning like crazy! I don't know what it was but they were adorable together.  Then tonight my sweet boy was talking and smiling away not really wanting to go to bed and I loved talking back to him. When he gets really excited he starts kicking his legs and waving his arms and it makes me tear up to see him so happy and healthy.  I thank God for these days because not every mother can say they had 2 months with their baby.  I remember begging God to please let me have this baby and for nothing to go wrong because I wanted to meet him and love him everyday we had together. I don't ever want to get 'used to' or take for granted the gift of being a mother.  Sometimes it's far to easy to complain about the harder side and I forget how blessed I am. 

Well I have been watching a little of the royal wedding on TLC and it's so exciting.  I love weddings and am a complete fairy tale dreamer/hopeless romantic.  Sadly most of the royal couples have ended up splitting though? I watched a special about it once on the history channel but anyways that's not meant to say this couple will split but i'm really excited for the news to be happy for once! It's been very depressing lately and it's nice to have joy from this wedding.  I hope they have a special day and that everything goes as planned!

Alright I should get to sleep.  Garrett wakes up every 3 hours still! One day that will change :).  Have a great night!

:)

My sweet baby boy hit the two month mark today.  He is growing everyday and i'm soaking in these days, one after another. I am thankful for him and how much we've both grown these two months.  Sooner than I'd like he'll be 13 and i'll be wondering where the time has gone! Those thoughts lead me to pick up my sleepy baby and cuddle him while showering him with endless kisses.  He has been doing very good and this mommy is starting to get sleep finally! It's interupted sleep but I'll take it!  We have been hanging out with friends and taking long walks in our beautiful weather we've had.

we tried pictures today but he wasn't on board with that :(

"I give up" :)

Today something happened that opened my eyes to the way God loves us (his children).  I was walking down the stairs outside and a bee flew over and went right up to Garrett.  First momma bear came out of me and this bee was going to die! but then I thought 'Sting me! Not him please!'.  Thankfully it flew away but as I continued on God spoke to me. "Laura, that is how much I love you but even deeper."  God couldn't stand to see us die and be separated from Him and that's why he sent Jesus to be our perfect sacrifice to bridge the gap from when we sinned against him.  I know this seems obvious but I would take Garrett's place in an instant because the thought of him hurting is awful.

There is nothing Garrett can do to lose my love and i'm reminded that goes the same for us in God's eyes.  It is very neat to experience a mother's love firsthand. 

I've been praying hard for friends today.  Sometimes I listen to a friends broken heart and want to mend it myself but today I begged God to restore a marriage, and heal a wounded heart.  I believe God can take a broken mess and turn it into something beautiful.  With all of my heart I believe that. :) He did that in my marriage.  As I gave testimony today of my marriage it made me realize how amazing God is for doing that in my life.  Darren and I are still a long way off from the perfect marriage but I love that man dearly.  I'm thankful today for a husband that cares deeply for me when I deserve nothing.  God really cares for me and heard my cries for help and came to our rescue so many times.  Marriage is hard but love is worth fighting for.  A marriage takes a mixture of two selfless people, love, kind words, laughter!, friendship, encouragement, PRAYER FOR THE OTHER, hugs/kisses, being there, and so much more. I will always struggle with being too selfish but I believe God works through our weakness and we are made strong. 

I am praying that God would send angels to guard the door of a dear friend's marriage like he did for me.

I've come to love my time with God over the past few weeks.  I picture eternity with Him and if it's anything like the peace during our conversations, well I can't wait then.  It is incredible how this unseen God has become more and more real to me and how deeply I need Him in my heart.  There are countless times that I have put God on the back burner but I tell you now it is awful because there is nothing as sweet as Christ in your life.  It is horrible realizing you are on a path apart from God.  I don't do well apart from God and thankfully the Holy Spirit remains in my heart to lead me back!

:) okay so I have some really neat friends around here.  I say that because yesterday we walked into church and I was like a little child in a candy store. As we worshiped I kept picking out friends and i'd smile big and think 'oh I just love her!' 'They're here! awesome :)' and I had the hardest time actually singing because I was excited to see my church family that i'm coming to love dearly.  I love how our pastor is always excited to see us and that we are welcomed warmly by everyone.  We didn't have family around for Easter but our friends from church invited us for brunch and we had a great time talking and laughing.  They are so fun to spend time with.  Then for dinner our sunday school class got together and we laughed and talked some more swapping stories about our children and life.  I went to bed last night feeling full of love.  I have to tell you that the other night I was confessing to Darren almost in tears how lonely I was feeling and then for God to answer a prayer with comfort from friends when they didn't even realize it.  I love how prayers don't go unanswered and the way God answers them always surprises me.

Well I should get going! Can't wait to keep sharing. :)

Laura



Tonight I was looking through some pictures of Garrett after he was first born and it took me back to one of the sweetest moments of my life. God gave me a special time with my son that morning being able to soak in every inch of his being.  He was perfect to me and even as the little marks and bumps started to show he still held that perfection in my eyes.  I didn't understand how you could love someone so deeply the way Christ loves us but then I became a mom.

We are approaching the two month mark and we're loving our baby boy even more.  He has been giving us a wonderful gummy grin lately that melts my heart! A simple smile can be the most rewarding thing to a mom because it shows that you're doing something right! :)

He has been dealing with some reflux junk lately and it finally dawned on me the other night that's what it was.  Poor little guy cries sometimes after eating and it's really upsetting him to the point of him not eating as great as before. We'll have to talk to the doctor about that and see what we can do for him besides sitting him up after feedings. 

We've been taking walks everyday and it's been refreshing to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather we've been having! Garrett seems to enjoy the fresh air as much as me :).

Darren and I have been enjoying each other lately and i'm really thankful for that. No one gives you a heads up that things may get a little heated at home after a baby comes in and it's easy to start living separate lives.  I'm glad that God is involved in my marriage and wants to see it thriving and filled with love because he's showing up to our rescue in a time that felt strained.  I gain a lot of respect for Darren in times like these and realize how blessed I am.  He is an incredible dad and is involved in taking care of Garrett's needs baths, diapers, soothing his cries, and just loves on his boy.  He could have checked out after work but right now he is checking into our family in the evenings i'm and blessed because of that. 

Right now we're facing a hard choice with his job and what's best for our family and i'm stuck in between not knowing how to best encourage him so i'm praying..a lot! I can't wait to let you know what happens. 

My mom told me that I need to pray more and she's right because I believe prayer works...I have a hard time praying for people because a lot of times there isn't immediate results and I give up.  Prayer for others is selfless and it takes discipline.  My grandma tells me every time I see her that she prays for me everyday...do you realize how neat that is? Everyday she talks to our God and brings me up to Him...I cherish that! 

Well i'm starting to ramble now! I have to tell you that my mom has been yelling at me because every time we get on the phone I talk super fast and my words go together and she can't understand me..so she says 'laura..i have no clue what you just said..' or 'Laura you're talking like..I don't know, I can't understand..' :) so I had to ask Darren if i've been doing that to him and he said, 'yes! and that's why I say what?' ha so to anyone i've been talking to lately, sorry if you can't understand me! It's called sleep deprived I think?

Laura