Hello Deployment...

Hey!

Well it's been a crazy week. Darren has his orders to Norfolk, VA and he'll be on a ship that'll be deployed for 6 months. He will have a short amount of time after graduation, June 16 and then have to report to the ship.
I have been preparing myself for this exact situation since we moved here, but I can't explain how i feel right now. I thought i'd be able to hold it together a little better yet inside i feel all sorts of emotions. Stretching from honor, for being a Sailor's wife to complete devastation, for losing the man i have loved for the past 3 years. As Darren said last night, 'I have one life and it's short, i don't want to spend half of the year away from my wife'. Perfectly said!
I've been forcing myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. He's serving America, you and I. What an honor to be the wife of a man who has made the decision to risk his life for his country! I'm scared for a lot of things, but i'm comforted by so many right now it's incredible! I'm trying to find balance right now among all of this mad rush to get things ready for the move as well as kiss my man goodbye! I hope you will go along with me on this journey and see how God works in my heart. I remember how God worked in my heart while darren was at basic training, it was amazing!
I'm moving home to Indiana! This is the biggest joy during a deployment. I was going to stay in Norfolk alone and get planted among the community but a leader of darren suggested to Darren to have me move home. The more we thought about it, i was excited! I will have my family surrounding me, see my sister's baby born! Visit extended family, be around friends, go back to my favorite church where i adore the church family there, and also be able to get involved in church. Then financially we'll be able to save a lot of money, Darren will know i'm being taken care of and not all alone. It's good for my mental health i believe! Not that every deployment will be this way, but you know God opens doors like these for a reason.
I continue to tear up and random times since finding out about Darren leaving. There are moments i'm overwhelmed by thoughts of what will be missed like his birthday and our anniversary. Yesterday afternoon i went to the park to get some fresh air and i knew if i was in the public eye i wouldn't start bawling! I sat on the bench and called my father in law to talk to him about moving to Indiana, i realized God is surrounding me with so much love during this first deployment! He provides even when i'm not deserving.
If things change i will let you know! Please pray for my husband as he prepares for his first leave, this is all very shocking to him and overwhelming. He will not have the support of family around him, and he'll not be able to finish fantasy baseball which is devastating! lol Please laugh at that! He is great. Pray for us that our last weeks together would be filled with sweet moments to hold onto for the long months ahead of being apart. Can't wait to share with you as God works in our marriage and my life.
~Laura
I love you Darren! Very proud of you

"In the morning when i rise..Give me Jesus..."
This song is close to my heart tonight.

Ever have those days that you feel everything? I call them my overly sensitive days! Let's be truthful, some of us in this world are just sensitive souls, nothing wrong with that but we need people who are, oh what's the word, more straight to it and tell it how it is. Like an amazing mother who says 'stop, breathe and listen'.

I went for a run tonight on the same trail I hiked through this past week. It was beautiful, and exhausting because through my frustrations i was running it off and my speed continued to pick up, faster and faster. Ha next thing i know i'm panting and can't breathe and realize i need to slow down! I have always found that in times i'm upset when i'm able to take a walk or sit outside it calms me down because i see God's beauty everywhere. When i was in highschool i used to sit under the stars and talk to God. I spent hours pouring out my heart to Him under the most incredible scenery. When things become unbareable and i'm all worked up it's then that God pulls me to a spot of absolute serenity and quietness in some display of His creation and immediately I'm stilled.
It's Jesus that loves me. Jennifer Knapp wrote a beautiful song that will always stick with me no matter what her lifestyle. She is talking about Jesus, and says, 'you remain'. I LOVE these words and hold them close to me, especially this past week. He remains close to me, no matter what.
I read the Bible this week without notes or reading the footnotes or cracking open a commentary, dictionary, or looking up online studies on that particular book. Nope i set that all aside and opened the book of Philippians and read what paul has to say to this particular church. In his letter which is broken into four chapters He said, "But whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ." (philippians 3:7-8)
THIS is the words i have not been able to find, but as i read them i started to cry. I am not well when i am being disobedient to Christ. I have known Christ as my savior for a long long time and there is nothing as sweet to my soul then Him. Even at his name i am smiling at the thoughts of him. I have never found a deeper joy in anything as much as i do in knowing Christ. I'm thankful for the simplicity in reading the scriptures without always studying. It's not suppose to always be such a deep thoughtful process. Sometimes it is what it is. Paul's sincerety to this church is wonderful to see as you read his words and hear him expressing how joyful he is, even though he is in chains. I wanted to share one more thing that i read about Jesus Christ that i read over and over and wanted every word to peirce my heart so i would never forget;
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord" Philippians 2:5-10

He came to save us, and in a beautiful way. It's hard to believe a God would step down from his throne for us, but He did. It's your choice to believe Jesus is the son of God, and it's a faith based belief. But when you taste the goodness of knowing Jesus, and seeing his love for you revealed daily, oh dear...there are no words. Bitterness has hardened some people's hearts, and anger has turned others away. Selfishness has stood in the way of seeking God for others, and there are many other reasons for people refusing to believe, but wether you think so or not, this is the truth, that Jesus is the only way to heaven. Atheists will call me crazy and say my beliefs are foolish and how christians are hypocrits. I have one thing to say...I serve God as a sinner saved by grace, along other's who too are sinners but God saved us offering the same to you. We are equal...just because some people follow a lot of rules doesn't make them better then you, because we all fall short. There is none that is good in the sight of God. It is ONLY because of Jesus that we can stand before God as though we never sinned at all. None of us did anything extroadanary to be given this title as 'Christian' We said a prayer and asked Christ to come into our hearts admitting we are a sinner and need a savior. Jesus did everything, we just believe and i ask you see that please. I'm sorry if you've been offended, really i am...but we that follow God are not perfect. We too need grace, and the one you need to seek out and study is Jesus, and the life he led. I am here for a reason and that reason is to share with you the greatest thing to ever happen to me. That is knowing Jesus. I don't 'sell' him by making a list of facts on reasons why you can and should believe him. Those won't win your heart over. I just ask that you at least seek him, he hears those that call out his name and open their hearts to him. I pray for you that God is able to show you the same love he shows me.
I'm a wretched sinner. There are days i break down because i am aware of the sin in my past that haunts me, but there is a soft whisper that says all has been forgiven, Jesus has paid the price and i have been washed white as snow. I can't tell you that it's a cake walk, because it's not. Every day there is a choice to be made, do i follow him or follow me today? I don't know everyone that reads my blog, mostly family and close friends but maybe there is someone that's never heard Christ loves them. Well i'd like to at least share with you that he does. Life is very short and i don't want you to miss out on the joy of knowing the Lord.

~~~~~~

A cozy monday

Hey!

Yes i fell victim to this cozy bowl chair that i wanted to get rid of. Thank you to my husband for saving it. I love it :)

I am trying new things! This ring is from target and i thought it was darling. (Target is my favorite store:))

What do you think of this fashion statement? My sister did this one time and i thought it was very cute.

My sewing machine. I decorated it a little with a cute bow.

I'm working on so many different things lately and i'm ready for a little mental break! So tonight i'm going to curl up in bed and read my Beverly Lewis book. My brain feels like mush from taking on the task of threading my sewing machine. I cut out two squares for the pillows and pinned them together, that was the fun part and things were going well until i realized i needed to get the machine set up. Lets stop and rewind...it took me over an hour to thread this machine and it's not even done! :pI was doing it all wrong but am starting to figure it out little by little. I was working through the booklet and not understanding most of it and feeling very overwhelmed. Calling my momma was a good idea. She told me to relax and take a breath! It's not easy to teach sewing over the phone but she did offer some instructions that made a lot of sense. Thanks for coming through mom!
This new hobby is intimidating and already a few times i've wondered whose great idea it was to pick this up. Yet, i know the more i learn that the results of what i sew will be worth every 'oops', 'ouch', and 'oh no!'. Wanting to see the results immediately is normal, but learning is all about patience and practice.
If this new hobby isn't enough in itself, i've picked up a few books on learning how to play the guitar and piano. I was working through the guitar book tonight and already have a billion questions. Okay not that many but i'm really confused. These are a few things that will be wonderful to enjoy when i learn them but it's the process of learning that can be tedious and not so fun. Who likes to sit there with a confused look? However, when you do come to those moments the light bulb goes on it's amazing, and worth it!

This afternoon i ran to home goods after the library and found an adorable blanket for $20! (it is shabby chic cottage totally!) I love it and it's very comfy. That store is really great because there's a lot of cute things for your home that are reasonably priced. I also bought a blank lantern from pier 1 that will go perfect in our beach theme bathroom. It was only 10 dollars and hard to pass up! I'm trying to get ideas together on what to paint the little table we bought. A friend suggested white and then make it look weathered. (I'm liking that idea) Today i went to goodwill to do a little more treasure hunting and on my way to the book area i saw this adorable three quarters pink blazer that was only five dollars. It was in perfect condition! I tried it on and thankfully it fit, it's really adorable. When you find deals like that it's the best feeling.

Currently the Moore home is on high *spider* alert after a freak out in the kitchen and a spider cricket in the neighbor's home. The kitchen scene was quite funny actually and Darren was stunned by my performance. I was drinking my vanilla coke in front of the stove just enjoying the day when something dropped in front of my face and then onto the stove hood. I thought it was a moth and went to swat at it and then realized it was a spider. I jumped up and screamed and then darted into the living room where Darren was and was speechless...The spider lived, and Darren jokingly told me it probably died from my screech. Those little buggers are so scary because its a surprise every time they decide to grace me with their presence!

We find out this week where we'll be going in a month. It's hard to believe our time is almost over in the beautiful state of Maryland. I was thinking how weird it will be when we'll be going to a new state. I'm looking forward to this next chapter in the Navy career for darren and then again i'm not. No longer is it a guarantee that he'll be home every night or that i'll have him for 7 months straight. This is the beginning of deployments and hard goodbyes! Although as Darren and I talked last night i realized God is going to use the time apart to build our marriage and our individual relationship with Him. Growth is needed for all of us and thus far in my experience that time of growing has never been easy or enjoyable. It is needed though! While those periods take place I remind myself to trust God's hand and have confidence that He will see me through.

I wrote a few songs over the last two nights. It was such a fun process! I've never done that before but the words flowed straight from my heart and it was an intimate time with God. I'm living life in the best way i know how right now. For a long time i was hurting and not really knowing who I was and it was a scary time. The one thing that remained constant was Christ, even though at times i was hurting him through disobedience, he remained. There were a lot of lonely days and nights that i spent very unsure of myself. I wanted to do what was right but continued to stumble as i made bad choices. Writing a song about that time in my life and the understanding of why Christ came to die for my sin because he loved me was somewhat of the closure that i needed. We all fall short and have made choices in the past that we're ashamed of but God's grace meets us right where we fall. It's really a beautiful display of love. I wish more people knew how deeply God loves them.

Tomorrow is the final exam for English. It's going to be a final where we write a paper in class. I'm not sure that i've ever had to do that before and i'm a little nervous about not having spell checker! Lord knows i'm a terrible speller but we'll pray that i do well still. Isn't it surreal how fast life goes? Seems as if only yesterday i was walking into the education office finding out about taking classes. I think the realization of how fast life is has me treasuring these days! My life is sweeter lately and i'm happy, genuinely happy to be here and spend time with God all day. No it's not roses and butterflies everyday, because certain circumstances are bad, but i'm finding out what joy means in Christ and how to choose the right attitude.

Well i'm going to go snuggle up in bed with my book for the rest of the night. Have a wonderful night!

love,

Laura

Hey!
I finally have a good solid amount of time to upload pictures and write. I really hope you've been having a great weekend. :)
Today i went 'treasure hunting'. I found some great things, and this very moment my creative juices are flowing and i can't wait to get started on projects around the house. I know that we may be moving in a month but as my mom said, you can take things with you!
I will tell the story through pictures, it's more fun to read that way!


This is my sweet man who did NOT feel like treasure hunting today. :)




STARBUCKS happy hour is the best.<3


Ikea...what an incredible store. My first experience was wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time. I was stoked to be going here today and found a few great buys which were not expensive at all. I made a mental wish list for the future already.

We bought this little table. I'm going to paint it and put a little lighthouse lamp on it i believe. I'm trying to do our second bathroom in a beach theme. Any ideas for what color i should paint this table? I was excited that it was only 5 dollars!

Then i found an apple cutter that I've been meaning to buy for a long time. Also a couple little jars for scrapbooking accessories. I think i did pretty good with not buying too much in a store that amazing!
We also went to a thrift store and although we didn't find anything it was still fun to look around.


Now dear friends...on to the most exciting part of this day for me! With my target gift card i bought a sewing machine! It was such a steal. I had looked up the one i wanted online and when i went into the store i saw a tag that said there was a special promotion. It was on sale along with a free carrying case. I saw the date for the sale ended on the eighth so i found an employee to ask about it. He actually was really nice and gave me the deal! (even though i'm pretty sure it was over with and they forgot to pull the sign off). Anyways it was really exciting, and after that i went to Joann fabrics to pick out a pattern for a pillow. As i was looking through patterns i realized i'm going to need to get a beginners book on how to sew because i'm lost! Still, this new hobby will be a lot of fun and i can't wait to get started. There's so many cute projects you can sew and i'll make sure to post pictures as i begin this new journey.





There you have it! My brand new sewing machine.

<3

I'm going to write a little more about what i've been dealing with this past week.
Last night i stayed up pretty late looking at online sites like country home and country living. In my mind i'm dreaming up a beautiful home that's so comfortable and cozy. I'd love to have a cottage style home. I know that since my husband is in the navy this might not be a reality for us but isn't it fun to imagine? There will be a lot of chances for us to decorate new homes along the way and i'll find joy in that!
Today as we were driving back from ikea the route back was gorgeous! I'm not kidding i was practically jumping for joy because we were driving through the country side and there were farms and for miles and miles i didn't see anything but green rolling hills. It was beautiful and inside my soul leaped for joy. I trust in those moments that God is loving me through something so simple and boring to some, but to me it is beyond words beautiful. I couldn't stop smiling and then i wanted to cry because i longed for a place called home in the middle of nowhere. Don't get me wrong, i love people but i also love the comfort in a home in the country with crickets playing a symphony. The smell of fresh cut grass, and the moments of silence. I told Darren that i longed for a home in the country, away from all the busyness and fast paced lifestyle. The idea of watching the sun rise and set, on a front porch swing is bliss! Yet i have to trust that God's plans are far greater than mine.

I wanted to share an exert from my journal entry two days ago.
"I have only been at true peace when I have surrendered to God every part of me. A blessing to have experienced rest for my soul, but a burden for the days I am not up to obedience. It's a struggle and I realize what hinders me from joy some days, simply my own stubbornness. How God deals with me is beyond me, but I am thankful for each minute he spends next to me. I love him with every inch of me, I really do. I could never forget him or the closeness between us.
Today God allowed something beautiful to happen. I was given the most quiet of days. Nothing to think deeply about, no feelings of inadequacy, no anxiousness because the quiet was way to sweet and something i needed so badly..."

This week was full of struggles left to right. There are moments it seems being a christian would actually make life easier as well as perfect but honestly it's not like that. Making the mistake to believe a Christian's life is picture perfect can be tragic in the end! We stumble and fall every day and sometimes sin trips us up very badly. Wherever our fall takes us, God's grace begins. Choosing obedience is not my first reaction i'm sorry to say. However it is a learned skill that i'm working on daily. I still stomp my feet and complain when things don't turn out exactly how i believe they should. (not literally but you get the point :))
The other day felt like a time out straight from God. Bitterness crept into my heart and i didn't deal with it, Instead I let it fester into something not so pretty! I needed a day full of quietness. Throughout the day i was able to be still before Christ and He was able to work out the ugly in my heart. That evening i wrote about it and realized it was exactly what i needed, a time out. Even grown ups need those from time to time.
Don't be too hard on yourself and don't take life so seriously. It's important to let loose and enjoy the simple things! I want to encourage you to do this because it's a huge struggle i deal with constantly. I am very quick to think everything through and often i miss out on a handful of moments that could have brought happiness my way.

This week i stumbled onto one of my favorite musician's blog. Her name is JJ Heller and she sings songs that are classified as indie/folk. Reading through her blog brought so much warmth! I walked away with a tender heart, a big thank you to her! She shared pictures of her family, home, vacations, ect. It was a picture of a woman who loves God and genuinely enjoys life! This woman has an understanding of balance in a way that i envy. She has a beautiful little girl that is so tiny and adorable, and you can just tell how sweet their lives are since she came into this world. Their marriage seems like a blast! Have you ever met a couple that you just thought, man i wish i could have what they have! Well that's this couple, i'd love to spend an evening with them, it would be full of laughter and good conversation.
Over the past few days and especially since reading this blog i've been encouraged to do a few things.

~Enjoy life! SMILE.
~Pick up a few hobbies. It's fun and good for the soul :)
~Stay healthy and fit.
~Try new recipes and don't be so critical with the finished results.
~Don't be afraid to try new things. Like writing music, singing, learning the guitar or piano (they've been collecting dust!)
~You have one life, and it's your choice how to spend each day...don't spend it laying in bed until 11! ;)
I'm learning a lot and being encouraged to grow. Life can be beautiful, it's all in how you view it and that takes the right attitude.

Have a wonderful night!

~laura

A Picture Post<3
Hello Everyone! Hope you had a great weekend.
Darren and I had a great weekend away with each other. Although it didn't go according to my plans it ended up being really nice. Friday night we headed into Philadelphia and as we were driving to the hotel all i could think was, 'is it too late to find another place?'. I think my husband was trying to be macho man because he told me it was fine and not to worry! It seemed a little sketchy to me though. When we came in they were just getting our room cleaned, but the people were nice. It was one of those hotels where the door opens to the outside. This means one thing....BUGS. After killing a few we settled in and turned the t.v. on and snuggled. We had a nice conversation on the two hour trip and it was so nice to relax! THEN.....i looked out of the corner of my eye and saw something crawling on the bed by my feet. I flew out of the bed and yelped. There was a big spider ON the bed. Darren killed in and took care of it very quickly. However i stood with my hands over my face for awhile refusing to get back into the bed. It was a romance killer let me tell you, but Darren was so great. He made a lot of jokes about it. (I love that about him) We laughed about it for the rest of the night and i eventually climbed back into the bed. Then Saturday we headed out to the braves v. Phillie's game and the braves won! We had Philly cheese steaks and saw the liberty bell. Also picked up a parking ticket. All in all it was a nice weekend away with Darren and I'm glad we were able to see a new city and make a few more memories.

Sunday i spent a lot of time cleaning up the house and doing laundry. I stayed up late planning meals for the next two weeks. I'm really excited for all the cooking and baking ahead of me. Tonight i worked out with Denise and then went to the commissary. It feels nice eating right and working out! After dinner Darren and I took a walk which turned into a run...a very fast run. We were sprinting together and i felt 6 years old! We were racing, then we ended up jogging the rest of the way. We had a great night together. He even helped me fold some of the laundry after i begged him for ten minutes. As my friend Denise told me, it's how you ask. Sometimes you have to be specific in your requests.
I went over to Denise's tonight to bring some food over and sat with Isaiah for a little while. He's almost four months and has stolen my heart! Seriously, that little guy is the sweetest. He cries like all babies but he's a lot of fun. Tomorrow morning i'm going to babysit for a little while and i'm looking forward to it. I look forward to motherhood more and more these days. I recognize the responsibility that goes along with being parents but there is a lot of joy as well.

I posted a couple pictures from our trip, The military spouse appreciation luncheon, and a little look into 'Laura's Kitchen'. I wanted to share kitchen pictures because i spend a lot of time in there and it's a happy place for me! Hope you enjoy looking through them.


Denise and I :)



Julie, Denise, a new friend, and I

Yummy lasagna! For the first time, it turned out nice.

My fridge is where i post my encouraging notes, mostly from my grandma. And some verses to live by.

My favorite candle! This one makes the whole house smell great. I love the smell of a Carmel, vanilla, sugary candle. It's heart warming i think. Something about lighting a candle always puts me in a good mood. Today i lit this candle and played Jim Brickman...made for a very relaxing afternoon!

My williams Sonoma soup/lotion! My sister in law has the same set and i'm in love with it, so when we went shopping i picked the same scent. It's great soap. I feel very cute when i use it because it smells amazing.

My cookbook stand is a huge help. I recommend to all you ladies to invest in one. There are a lot of cute ones out there. I bought mine at books a million in the cookbook section.

I made these tags and wrapped the ribbon around these jars from target. I love the 'country' touch is has. I'm still looking for a country style store around here but haven't had much luck. In Indiana there were a couple great places to find things that would fit well into that style but we didn't have the money to buy a lot then. I guess it's okay that i'm not finding a store, it will save us money. :)

This was our yummy dinner! I think it's important to sit at the dinner table or together and have a nice dinner together. I always feel bad when families never eat together, because growing up it was were the best conversations took place. I love sitting down thanking God for the meal, indulging in delicious food (most of the time!), and then talking with Darren.

Me! In my new apron that has an 'L' printed on the front. I love it! Making lasagna for the first time. It didn't turn out like my mamma's but i think she'd be proud still.

This was sunday's dinner. We had breakfast for dinner and it turned our really good. I love being able to stay at home as a wife. I'm finding more energy now to put together better meals and not be lazy and always go out to eat.

This is Saturday at the ballgame. It was very windy in philly! I almost lost Darren's hat a couple times :p. I am falling in love with baseball more and more, i never thought i'd enjoy it as much as i am. It's fun to have a team you like and know the players.

THIS is the place..the hotel we stayed in with the spider. ;) The great thing was the next morning when i walked out and we saw a beautiful view of a lake.

SEE! It's not sooo bad. I stood out here for a little bit and enjoyed the view. It made me forget about the creepy bugs and sketchy area.e

Hope you enjoyed the pictures! It didn't take so long to upload them thankfully.

Last night I spent a little time in the book of Daniel. Whenever i open that book something special happens. I don't feel lost or the need to understand exactly how or why this particular book i'm reading came to be. I understand the truth in each word. There was a certain measure of protection as the bible was passed down and put together that brings great comfort. I read it, and am aware of the words penetrating through my heart like no other book does. God speaks loudly through those words. You can't deny the way these books and chapters intertwine with each other. They each fit together perfectly and as i read more and make connection i feel like i'm solving a puzzle. There are very exciting moments when i'm reading, because it's coming alive to me.

Today as i was doing laundry i realized how much i love the quietness. Peace is needed in our crazy world! I'm encouraged to take time away and sit back to breathe...we're too fast paced and forget to enjoy life. There are opportunities missed when we're too busy. I don't have a full plate right now and would like to add a couple more things in the coming months. I want to be able to serve people more with my time. Not go crazy with a full schedule but at least a few times a week be involved with helping someone or maybe be involved in a church. Which brings me into a guilty confession...

Darren and I haven't been going to church since we moved to Maryland. There is no excuse. At first our schedules were a little crazy and then when life settled down Sunday became a time we slept in. I listen to sermons online all the time and spend a lot of time in the word and speak with God quite often. I know this has been a conviction i've been ignoring. I kept saying well the next place we're at i'll make sure we find somewhere to go. I don't like 'church shopping', as you can see i completely avoided it all together. It's not okay though. We need to be in a church, learning about God, having fellowship with other believers, giving, and being involved. I'm completely guilty of being lazy...and i'm sorry! I know as a christian this isn't an example of Christ. This Sunday Darren and I are going to a church. Although we may only be around for a month more we realize it's important to go. This final push came from my beloved mother. I call her on mothers day and get scolded! Such a mother thing...;) I love her though, and know i needed to hear what she said! It's not easy to be corrected, but listen to the corrections because most likely it's from God.

Alright i'm going to head to bed! Have another fun filled day tomorrow and need to get to bed a little earlier. Talk to you again soon!

~Laura

Happy Friday! And a HUGE thank you to all of the military spouses around the world. Reagen made sure there was a day that recognized us and i'm really thankful for that! (good man!) Between deployments, dirty diapers, keeping the house clean, juggling activities, missing your husband, and keeping everything together you are strong women!

Today i went to a luncheon that was really nice! They really did pamper us girls and i needed it! The speaker talked about always feeling lost when people asked what she did. That question always haunts me! I related with her because i always feel a little lost when someone asks me that question. As though what i'm doing isn't good enough. As a military spouse you go into it knowing you're going to have to make sacrifices. But no one can fully prepare you for what that actually means. I realize now that for me it means i will have to take school at a slower pace and because of the moves it will require a few different schools along the way. I will have to make do when he needs to be there for his job and not be mopey! When the time comes that we start having kids i will have to make even more sacrifices. Darren will not always be there to help me out and i may have to raise our children without him being present as times. I DO HAVE GOOD NEWS! God doesn't let you stand all alone. He PROVIDES! Through family and friends that he's placed in my life i've seen how true he is to taking care of me.

It's hard to be married to the military. I'm only just entering this new chapter in our lives and i have moments i am very scared. But before i have time to think about it along comes a friend! God surely will provide for our needs. So a big thank you to all the military spouses!

This past week my husband and I went to the braves game. It was a blast! After feeling a bit distant from him lately it was very rejuvenating to have a night out doing something we both love! A baseball game! We talked a lot and laughed the entire night! The braves even pulled through for us and won. There was a lot of little things in our marriage that weren't huge issues but were becoming more noticeable and we were able to communicate with each other in a healthy way. I am even more in love with him because of moments like that! It's amazing to watch your husband grow and to be able to say he is a man after God's heart makes me smile so much! I need his leadership and faith in God like i need oxygen. The relationship he has with God shapes him into an incredible man and the husband i need! Also, it helps me as a wife to thrive and meet his needs on a whole new level. We are two imperfect people but we're crazy about each other. I know as Christ makes his way to the center of our hearts and as we walk in obedience with Him, our marriage becomes exactly the thing that glorifies him. God wants to see marriages work and he will answer prayers that a miracle would happen to save this marriage. I stand first hand telling you to HOLD ON if your feeling lonely, out in the dark, not important, etc. God has a plan and purpose for your life. At times i am far to concerned with what Darren is not doing that i neglect to see my own sin. Let God be God, and you be that cute wife that pours love out to your husband. Again...don't trash talk ladies! It's not going to fix your marriage. If you need to talk to someone, first pray and then find a good family member, or close friend that will listen but give you encouraging advice. I praise God that my husband has not ever bad mouthed me to family and friends. People don't need to see all of our dirty laundry. I think of the woman in proverbs 31 who praised her husband! Please go back and read that passage, it's something we woman need to see. Not to perfect her but see her as a model of how we should be as woman.

Well I am itching to get out of here for our weekend getaway! It's going to be so nice to spend more time together and the two of us are in a great place in our marriage to celebrate and enjoy each other! God has blessed us richly, and i'm very thankful for that. I will post pictures when we get back.

Okay to end on a happy note, It's time for a fun story. This morning i woke up at four to take darren to work and a huge moth flew and other huge yucky bug flew in. As we were walking out i realized...'Wait i'm going to have to go back in there and find them when i come back..ughhh' I'm just not awake that early enough to hunt bugs. Well i hardly had time to hunt because as i walked in and ran to the kitchen to get the fly swatter (i thought i had time thinking they'd be in the stairway) the moth attacked me! :o it was in the kitchen flying very fast! So there i am around four in the morning screaming and doing my 'i've got the Ibbie jeebies' dance! It was probably quite funny to watch but i was freaking out and running into the living room, then running back into the kitchen swinging the fly swatter around like a mad woman! I missed every time of course. Then it flew into the stairway. Yes friends, i stood downstairs for a lonnnnggg time to afraid to run upstairs. The moth landed pretty high up in the staircase and the other nasty bug was around there too. I quickly schemed to get squishy baseballs to throw at them. Of course i missed and then realized i was acting crazy and was needing to go back to bed! Well they both disappeared and now i'm jumping for joy that i'm leaving and don't have to deal with them! But you better believe i've been looking everywhere for them. It's the little things in life like this that crack me up! I am seriously considering hiring someone to come live with me to help fight the creepy crawlers. ;)

To my future babies, i am sorry ahead of time! You're mommy is the biggest wimp when it comes to killing bugs, but i'll always give you a good laugh.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

~laura

Good evening!

I've been sitting on my computer for a little while and decided i should really write something! Writing is always something that blesses me more than i can explain. It formulates clear sentences and ideas from all the jumbled mess that goes on inside my head! The verses referring to being still before God are always the hardest for me! The thoughts roll in one by one and then the depths of those thoughts have levels you couldn't believe. We'll call me a 'deep thinker' and leave it at that! Sometimes it does drive me crazy because i have a lot of random thoughts about things i read and can't come to a conclusion.
For example, this issue about Jennifer Knapp coming out of the closet has my mind in tangles. There is a lot of really sad thoughts with this issue forcing to push me down and it's a battle. Jennifer Knapp was one of my favorite musicians and throughout high school I clung to the lyrics she wrote for life support at times. Her song 'refine me', and 'hold me now' were my two favorite. They were songs filled with such raw emotion and yet uplifting. She left the music scene in 2003 and disappeared for awhile. I always wondered where she went but didn't think too much on the matter. Then last week while reading an entry from Addison road's blog it mentioned Jennifer Knapp being a homosexual. The Bible refers to homosexuality as a sin. We may not agree but from reading the bible it is pretty clear God is not okay with it. I do not put this particular sin above others though, sin is sin. I am upset about the fact that Jennifer Knapp is justifying her sin. She has been gone for 7 years, traveling and five of those years with her partner in Australia. Now she is coming back to play music again, and although there are mixed reviews from many fans I'm still shaking my head. As i read through interviews there is an underlying discomfort for her. I'm thankful for that! To come back into the spotlight and claim God is okay with sin and then write what i call 'angry music' aimed towards the church, well i'm just wondering why? This story angers me and i'm left trying to pick up the pieces of a young girl that adored this artist only to find out her music was probably written at a time she was trying to figure out her struggle. (It's disturbing)
Sin is messy. I don't not like Jennifer Knapp but i can't listen to her music anymore. It's not because she's a homosexual. It's because she is making statements that God is okay with her sin. Aren't we always trying to justify sin? We are too afraid to call sin what it is. I'm a sinner and there are certain times i try to justify why i sinned. I could write a book on this very topic. Our world and the blame game! We all have been at fault for this at one time in our life. It's not natural to fight sin, but the way God rewards you for struggling through to victory is incredible. I don't know what jennifer knapp is going through, i don't have her thoughts and battles but the worst thing for me to do is bad mouth her. Her lifestyle is a sin and there are at least three places in the Bible that make reference to that. However, it's not my place to point any fingers because if i remember correctly pride is mentioned WAY more in the bible then homosexuality. Right now i'm working on praying for her and committing all my thoughts on this to God.

Moving along! Currently i am drugged up on suddefed pe. The way it knocks me out is wonderful but when i come back to the sickness is still there! Bummer. I've been sick since Tuesday with sinus junk. It's now almost Monday and i'm still sneezing, coughing, and stuffy nosed. I am at the stage where the Kleenex is piling up on my nightstand and i'm wondering why i dont bring a trash can next to the bed. I tried to run friday and that was a huge mistake! I started running and hardly made a dent into my two miles because i was sneezing and wheezing. I walked the rest of the way completely miserable! I tried to soak up the beauty of the sun and some quiet time with God but i admitted to him i couldn't wait to be inside! I love being outside but i'm thinking this is allergies. I read tonight that the pollen around here is very high. I didn't know i had allergies but this can't be a cold. It's lasting way too long! Now comes the not so fun part. I know this isn't getting better and my friends told me to go to the doctor but i just hate the doctors! I hate going alone, having someone inspect me, not having any idea whats going on, and waiting around for what seems to be forever. Am i alone on this? But...tomorrow i'm going to call and make an app. because i need medicine! Funny, i'm wrapping this paragraph up and i sneezed! It's official i need to go see a doctor. :)

Part of growing as a christian is going through the fire to be refined. It's not an easy or fun process obviously but i know whenever it happens it's for a good reason. During these times i learn hard lessons, or realize God is bringing sin to my attention. The purpose of this is for His glory, so that i may become more like Christ. That knowledge alone brings a huge amount of peace to my heart. This past week i've been feeling a lot and missing my husband like crazy. I am so hard on myself when it comes to walking with God. I wanted to share a very personal experience in hopes that it may encourage you!
Thursday i was talking to the lord and praising him for bringing me some really great friends into my life that are very fun! Also the fact that I know He is working in their lives and i have the chance to see that is incredible. I was looking forward to getting our toes done and having dinner saturday night. (it turned out to be a lot of fun, and we have cute toes now!) Anyways before my class i had some time so i was listening to music on my phone (Pandora radio), when a great song came on! Addison Road's, "What do i know of holy". I was sitting on the side of my bed praising God and singing this song to him. The place i sang from was not on my bed but from a place in my heart that used to be an empty corner filled with sin, that He had over time filled with Himself. An overwhelming sense of awe spilled over through song. I don't have God figured out, and it's not easy to walk this road. Some days it's scary because it can be lonely if you don't force yourself into His presence. This experience of joy came from a long journey of surrendering a place in my heart i hadn't given to him. I want to encourage you to surrender all of your life to God. He loves you, and that's why he sent Jesus. So that you could have a more abundant life. Honestly, you were made for him and if you still have the emptiness inside, please sit back and think about making a decision to let God into your heart.

In the next few weeks Darren and I will find out where we'll be going next in June. I am excited to know but strangely i can't see myself moving to another state next month. Seems like we settled into our home yesterday! These are the times i'm reminded i'm married to a Sailor. :) Please pray for us as we find out where we're going next. Mainly for a peaceful transition, these moves can be hectic! Thanks so much!
Alright well i'm going to watch some more i love lucy and take more medicine so that i can fall asleep! I slept from 6-9 tonight...did i mention my sleep schedule is all sorts of messed up!

Goodnight<3

laura