He coughs and dry heaves then calls out, 'Mammaa'. 

My heart aches as hands rub the back of his head and back. Its easy to comfort a sick child even as the mind races.  That mother instinct is wonderful and without giving much thought you are in motion, rubbing, soothing, whispering, 'its okay sweet boy, momma is here'.

Another cool wash cloth, change of the sheets, but laundry at 3:00am doesn't disrupt a mother.

It's a blessing.

Not the sickness..but the child who has a working immune system, who is calling out to his mother.  Who is now feeling better and smiling once again.

It was an honor to spend the night up with my sick child, because I knew that somewhere there was a mother longing for her child and would give anything to sit up with them one last time.  I don't understand why some people see such pain but here is what i'm learning..

it can all change in a moment.

That's why with each day...one day at a time...we can both learn to embrace

Our God

Our families

Our jobs

Our gifts

Our days

Even our pain

Call me crazy, but this embracing makes life worth living.

We're encouraged to embrace wherever it is we find ourselves and choose an attitude where God's light can come pouring forth.

~*~

I ran today with a new pair of shoes.  They're incredible and I ran harder and faster then ever before.  i was beyond happy as my legs were supported and felt no aches from the pounding on the pavement.

I had worn those old tennis shoes for over 4 years!

They fit, were comfortable, and easy to slip on. 

I knew what to expect out of them.

But my knees and ankles were suffering, so I finally chose to take care of the problem and invest in a new pair of shoes.

only $20 :)

Did you know that changing an attitude is similar to getting into a new pair of shoes?

This life can be hard, you already know that though.

But maybe today you need to get out of the comfortable attitude you always choose that leads you to feeling discouraged in the end..and try on a new attitude of joy.  That fits well and allows you to run the race in life and when we come to the finish line you can slip off those shoes and hear how well you did by the most High King.

Hope you're encouraged tonight!

Laura



I grabbed my computer and headed outside to soak up this gorgeous day!

I wish you could join me but you'll have to take my word when I say it's perfect out here.

I was tempted to sit back and soak it up alone while my boy naps but I have a story too good not to share with you!

We headed out for a morning jog/walk and my mind was wrapped around stories like these.. 

http://wendymayo1.wordpress.com/

Her 12 year old son passed away

and this one too..

http://www.wavybel.blogspot.com/

A young husband passed away from a stroke, he had been on a run with friends.

These stories reminded me of how quickly our lives can change.  Its why I want to soak up these days because tomorrow or even this afternoon my whole world could look very different. The thing that was the most encouraging was these two stories were of faith in Christ still.  They had not lost hope completely and that was encouraging after seeing what their circumstances were.

But as feet pounded pavement my words went up to God like this,

'lord don't let my life be in vain, I always want to be ready for that moment when we meet.'

We continued on and I prayed for the families and others and was lifting up thanks for my own health today.  I started thinking about all that has been going on lately and lost in thought I looked over and saw a road leading to somewhere we hadn't been yet.  Normally I stay on the same route to be safe because it's comfortable and I know what to expect.

I like being comfortable.

:)

But I ran a little quicker as the houses around the corner were as i'd say fabulous!  I started thinking about how right now this reflects the path i'm taking in life..experiencing something different.

A little further this picture unfolded..

I don't know if you're following but when this came into view I started beaming!

This park was there all along but I didn't want to take a different route because again, I love sticking with what's comfortable.

But what a fun place to discover. :)

Look at this little guy! He LOVED our new route that will now allow him time to get out of the stroller and play.

God blesses our obedience, i'm convinced of that!

So trust Him today and know that around the corner of obedience a blessing awaits.

Praying for you today!

Deuteronomy 31:8(NIV)

⁸ The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

 {How comforting}

Today I kept busy working outside like a mad woman..pulling up weeds and hauling huge 56 lb bags of mulch around to pour onto flower beds.  It was intense and sweat poured down rosy cheeks.  But I smiled and had a great time being distracted from life.

God is good in allowing us times of silence that we don't have to say much of anything.  I wonder what he thought as he watched upon his daughter working hard the land he created, I did wonder if it pleased him as much as me..or if he wished I could have seen how his earth was meant to be for me to enjoy without work..One day!

I had an intense morning among good friends.

But i'm glad for their support and encouraging words.  Some choices we make are plain old hard but having good friends helps smooth the way. I remember over a year ago when we first moved here and knew no one and I was praying hard that God would send the right people.  He brought an armful plus some to this girl.  I can't tell you how many wonderful friendships i've made since moving here. 

The variety of personalities among them make me smile the most.  They're all amazing in their own way.

My good friend and I walked this morning and talked about God's church and being in the military and finding a home church in the midst of moving every few years.  It's difficult but can be done.  Sometimes a year into being at one you may be called out in a new direction because that's the best for your family.  It's hard..REALLY hard for a girl like me.  I don't want to hurt anyone and I want to remain friends with everyone.  But sunday morning as i sat in a brand new church something sparked in me this happiness and I knew..just knew that was the peace i'd prayed for.  My man was happy and I can't explain what that does to me.

 The entire day our home could be described as happy.  It's now monday and we're still beaming.  That message I heard yesterday is still challenging me tonight and i'm mulling it over considering what it is that I need to let go of that hinders my walk with the Lord.

We talked about that morning's message and were open to each other. 

He liked having something more familiar even though he insists a church should have a gym. :) (God gave him that passion and love for sports and I believe one day God will use that for His glory.)

But knowing what we were leaving behind wasn't happiness to me, it is hard. I ran into this today though.

Much of life is about making choices, many times hard ones, and navigating the results. Don't regret the choices you make.

-Eric Thomas

How fitting, right?  Then it became clear to me.  This family of God's isn't broken down into smaller congregations that there'd be separation..No God intended us to be united as one body..That means ALL of his family.  I can still love and grow close to those that i've come to care for from the church we attended this last year. 

Good lessons being learned!

And here are some pictures of what was worked on around the home.

:)

I am tired! Goodnight friends :)

This melody has filled our walls this evening,

'I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back, the world behind me the cross before me..la la da da'

:) 

I hope they don't mind my singing but no one has protested at this point! 

Sometimes when your soul wells up you have to let out a hallelujah, right?!

Why that particular song? Well I like that in Christ I can choose to put the world behind me..i can put all of my past sin behind me...I can live freely from condemnation..only in Christ.

And it's only by Christ that I can know God in an intimate relationship. Not anything I can do.

Lets go deeper.

Tears were spilling over the rims of my eyes as I tried to type out words that God was sharing with me. 

'laura, don't you miss this stuff it's important!' I thought

 I was listening to a testimony by Kay Arthur.  I wanted to remember her words but mostly God's word that she had willingly shared.

"Sin will cost you more then you ever intended to pay and take you further then you ever wanted to stray"

                                            -Kay Arthur

Ouch.

More tears..

"Though your sins be a scarlet, you shall be as white as snow"

-Kay Arthur

Wow

More tears..

Word after word of truth came pouring forth sweet as honey and  hands shook as fingers tapped away at the keys. I wanted to catch all of God's truth because his word acts like a healing balm that this girl needed.

My past crippled me because I couldn't change it and thought i was defined by it. 

Choices made have consequences and it breaks my heart.  For years I have held onto the past, hanging those sins around my neck like the woman who wore the Scarlet letter around hers. 

I left it there.  I wasn't good enough and so I ate for comfort, I felt sorry,  I tried to mask hurt, but deep within the bondage was unbearable.

How could a christian who claimed to love the Lord feel this way often?

What was missing, I would cry out to God with clenched fists. Where was he so long ago..why did he let me make a mess!?  I demanded answers then and I must have looked pitiful.

But oh how He loves..and he already had a plan to bring me back...to a life full to the brim with freedom.

Kay Arthur also talked about how Sin angers God.  Whether it's done to us or by us and I find comfort in knowing that.  He hates it.  And when we chose to disobey him we became separated from him.  

He however had a way mapped out for us.  You may have heard this before..but listen..really listen,

He sent Jesus, his son to be our redeemer.

We were going to die and be separated from Christ for all of eternity.  That was our penalty.  

I stopped there.

I sinned and hung that Scarlet letter around the neck walking around in shame for years. 

Have you ever been there?  It hurts, right? Living life defeated is an awful way to live.

People start running to anything that will comfort that emptiness and try to heal themselves..alcohol, affairs, drugs, pornography, relationships, entertainment, money, you get the point.

We hurt when we don't know the rest of the story.

So lets go deeper.

The lord who heals calls us into a relationship with Him.  Through the Bible (his word) we discover the rest of this beautiful story.  We all heard about it this past Easter i'm sure.  The story of Jesus' death and resurrection.  

He comes to you and I and smiles at us..he must shake his head as he speaks 'I came that you would have life, in abundance' (John 10:10)  Then he reaches and pulls that sin we've been carrying around our necks and points to the cross.  His yoke is easy he says and burden light.  He draws us near with more words...

"I am Jesus Christ, your kinsman-redeemer" (Ruth 3).

Have you forgotten?  

Do you feel that?

Freedom

  It is the sweetest thing. He lifted that sign from around this neck as I bowed low. He will do it for you too.

Tears dropped onto my hand and shirt as I received the rest of the story into my heart.

The part about Grace, love, and joy..unspeakable joy.

This time it wasn't a glimpse of him only to end by the next afternoon, but a filling and desire to live out life fully following Him, knowing him.

No looking back because my sin is behind me, The cross is before me so there's no turning back..for I have decided to follow Jesus.

I will continue to fill these four walls with that melody as long as God gives me the voice to.

<3

I will definitely update you on our most recent change very soon! But know that we are doing really good, and prayers were answered.  

Until next time, know i'm praying for you! 

He is sitting in his chair eating french fries, eyes glued to the television.

Legs were folded neatly together while the heart admired the gift of motherhood.

Sometimes being a good mom is having a living room picnic while talking about our adventure to the library all while in watching the television. 

But that gift of being together was a treasure.

This is my life..

My greatest adventure

He grows and we teach him about love while pouring into him.  He will leave one day and if we've done what God called us to, he'll be just fine.

Being a parent is not simple. 

•Staying consistent

•Being the disciplinary

•Being an example to the sponge-like child

•loving on the hard days and through the straining moments

•Faithfully praying

•trusting God as they grow more independent from you

For now he thinks he's able to discover the world away from mom.  But it's my job to keep him safe.  I'm not letting these moments slip by.

I know they're going to go fast and so that's why on some occasions..

We make a mess in the kitchen and don't clean it up because i'm craving his giggles and he needs mom's attention.

We play chase instead of putting another load in the washer

Clutter piles up inside while we remain outside for the day.

It will get done in the late hours of the day when he's resting.

We're close.  Each day we wake up with huge smiles for each other and throughout the day we chat and laugh together. I teach him about boundaries and how to be gentle and kind.  We read books, try to learn sign language(he's not interested), we sit outside and he looks puzzled over a piece of grass between his fingers. We eat three meals together and he laughs throughout while I make silly faces meant for only him.  I laugh at his babbling.

He has always been laid back and easy going.

If he gets upset we tell him to pull it together but who can really reason with a one year old? :) We attempt to anyway!

His daddy comes home and he always hops up from whoever he is and lets out a screech of excitement while walking straight into the arms of his hero.

Every single day.

There's a man he calls dad that he can't get enough of.  And that dad is the second best father i've ever known.  I wish you could see those two together because you'd understand.

The evenings are full of playing, relaxing, with a short break for dinner.

I can't forget to thank God I'm reminded. 

{this is from Him to me}

What a gift for an undeserved girl!

Now this is grace lived out

~*~

If you're overwhelmed today as a mother

Remember that your child is a gift from the Lord so embrace them.

Treasure the days as their mother, don't speak poorly of them, pray for them always, and remember to give yourself grace daily.

{Some Change}

Hurts.

One source describes change as the act or instance of making or becoming different.

 I have been seeking an answer from the Lord for over a year about how to deal with a certain (very important) part of my life.  I talked it over with family, and friends but claimed to not know what to do still.  Was I listening? Was I not facing reality? Or was I scared?

Well, I throw my hands up and tell you i'm not sure! 

But here is what i'm sure of..

I was sick about where I was, angry, annoyed, and plain old tired with a little bit of confused.

I was losing sight of my savior, marriage, the goodness in people, and the gifts God gave me.

But today as things unfolded in two separate conversations it appeared an answer finally came when i wasn't even searching for it.

Although I joked with the Lord about his time table being way off, I realized he knew exactly what he was doing.

I'm going to walk away from a place that I care about.  That part is hard.  But with no bitterness or anger, just for the purpose of moving ahead to a place we fit better.   While God remained quiet I was given a chance to work through a few things making it acceptable to move forward now.

I could have never become different with this change if I was stuck in unresolved conflict.

He cares deeply and has a plan.

Some lessons we go through are plain old hard.

But tonight as I was given a glimpse into this new chapter  I couldn't stop smiling because something in me was at home and I needed that more then ever! 

Tonight i'm going to bask in this peace that has come over me and thank God for it and his calling to move forward under his umbrella of authority.

 

~*~
Remember that chair I bought? That I cleaned and was anxiously getting ready to tackle the slipcover project?  Well that chair stinks.  It smells awful and it's been cleaned and cleaned with no hope of ever smelling better.
I'm debating what to do right now.
Pitch it out? Sell it? Take it apart and start over?
This $15 chair is turning out to be a little more then that. :)
Right now i'm leaning towards selling it and getting my money back.
Lesson learned.
In the future i'll make sure to not just see the price but check it over first even if I look ridiculous smelling it up close!

I hope you're having a great day and had a wonderful Easter!
I'll make sure to post pictures soon :)
Thinking about you!

 

                                                                       

'How is everything going, are you doing okay?' she asks through the phone.  In a split second I decide to be real.

I go on, "I feel like everything is restrictive in my life, and I understand that in the long run it will bring peace but i'm not quite there yet.  We are on a new budget and I can't spend much, i'm trying to be healthier and have to work out a lot and if i want to lose this weight I can't eat as much.  Then there's my daily walk with God that involves things i need to do or i'm off which makes all of these new changes overwhelming.'

And she does what God asks of her..

{Reassures}

There is some treasure hidden in my heart that is God's word.  He keeps reminding me of it as often as He sees fit.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

 Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Hebrews 12:11

It's not pleasant. Trust me.

Regarding budget:

I don't go to Target anymore because no longer can I blow through $100 on things we don't really need but I want. That is my favorite store.

Regarding Health:

If I want to lose weight then I need to get up daily (except one day for rest!) and either take a walk or run.  Then I need to choose to eat smart and do it in moderation.  I can't snack on junk and expect to lose pounds.

Regarding faith:

If my day is going to go right then the first thing that needs to happen is me sitting before God surrendering and listening to His word.  If I choose not to then satan is given an early opportunity to help me choose my own way for that day.

So here is exactly what God let me know today.

He doesn't intend for me to feel this stuffy..He gave me a choice to accept these things bring freedom.

A budget that seems tight is actually keeping us out of debt and giving him a chance to reveal himself in the neatest ways.

Working out and eating better is going to bring freedom in this body to not be plagued with disease or sickness (God-willing).  I will be able to have energy and do the work God desires me to. 

Lastly in my faith, Jesus came so that I'd have life and through him I'm free.  By meeting with him and following Him that will bring freedom in the deepest way.

He intends good, and it's through these disciplines that are not pleasant that I will lead a life full to the brim with freedom.

Thank you Lord for that gift!

~*~

Alright a few pictures now :)

Last night I was wide awake at 2:00AM!  I couldn't sleep and decided to browse craigslist, hoping that'd help me to be sleepy.

I found this beauty..

For $30 to be exact.

Over a month ago i'd organized my pantry with a friend and we decided if I could find a small piece of furniture to fit some things we cleaned out like Tupperware and G's thing that would be great.  So I browsed through thrift stores but didn't find anything. 

The old me would have asked darren if we could go to walmart or target and buy a piece but the new laura on a budget waited patiently and looked pass the mess in my craft room of stuff without a home.

But there at two in the morning I found this!

This evening Darren and I went to pick it up and it fit perfectly in our vehicle.

I placed it in the dining room and couldn't stop smiling ear to ear.  I don't even need to touch it because it's my color and completely my style.

What do you think?

Little man decided to inspect.

Will he give his approval?

"Looks good in here"

"Cool knobs I can pull at!"

"Mommy, I approve!"

~*~

Then G and I sat down to do an Easter craft.  I honestly bought this at the dollar store with no expectations of what doing a craft with G would be like.  It was fun and he seemed to enjoy helping.

I love this picture of him!

When it dries we'll hang it on his door.

Sometime in the next few days we're going to dye eggs! How that will go with a one year old, well i'm not sure yet :) but fun will be had!

Thinking about you and hoping your day was wonderful.

~Laura~