Normally writing in my journal or in this blog is easy.  The words naturally flow and it's nice to share what's going on in my heart.  I'm actually surprised by my lack of words lately.  Mostly because my heart is full of love for Garrett but I can't find the right words to explain what's going on inside of me.  For example right now my sweet boy is asleep and i'm melting because he is healthy, happy, and at peace while he sleeps.  I want to pick him up and kiss him over and over and then let the tears fall.  I can't tell you how many times I came before God and asked for my son.  Just that he would let him be born and that I could hold him and love him.  I didn't know God's will, or even now what the future holds but I begged that God would allow Garrett to come into this world.  God blessed me two weeks ago when this child was placed in my arms.  I am not guaranteed anything so I keep thanking God for Garrett, my beautiful boy.  He is a gift and one that has been entrusted to Darren and I to raise in a home that serves the Lord. 

I've been caught up lately in the daily routine of feedings, diaper changes, and a sleepy boy but today it hit me, when was the last time I really talked to Garrett? I felt so bad! I've been filled with questions for his physical health and am very concerned in that area because I want to take care of him but I was lacking in another very important area. I try to keep nightly feedings quiet but even during the day I realized i've been quiet.  The boy can't talk but that doesn't mean I should be quiet during the day! Silly mommy..:)  Just loving on him and talking to him is something he needs!
I don't know if he smiles yet...but when I started talking to him and he was looking up at me he was smiling a toothless grin and it melted my heart.  I want my tiny baby to stay little for a long time and I feel like i'm experiencing something special being able to stay home with him.  Not all mothers have that privilege but I am beyond grateful that i'm able to. 

We have been talking about how much Jesus loves him, and how much mommy and daddy love him too.  The very first night he spent with me I told him the story of Jesus.  I won't ever forget holding him in my arms as I told him about Christ.  I can't wait to see how God reveals himself to Garrett over the years. What an incredible privilege to be used by God to represent Christ to my little boy. But I don't want to downplay how hard that job is!  To be like Christ is a daily choice and one that i'm not always good at following through with.  But I love my God very much and I hope that always shows and Garrett is able to pick up on that.  I think that in the way I live each day and how I treat others and Darren will be very important to our son who will be a sponge!

This evening my friend Crystal came over and I had such a nice time talking and sharing my son with her.  It was a relief to have friendly conversation and be able to laugh and talk about my new life and hear about how she has figured things out with her daughter.  I needed that time as it was extremely comforting to not feel alone! Thank God for good friends!

Well that's all I have for tonight :) Garrett is sleeping and I probably should have taken a nap with him since he's off on his day/night right now. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

It's amazing how quickly your life can change.  How you can go from laying on the couch watching T.V., hugging your tummy and dreaming of what's to come, and then it comes..and life is never the same again.

I am sitting here and the aroma of fresh spit up covers my shirt, my hair is in the messiest ponytail i've ever seen, but i'm at peace because I look across the room and there they are, my two boys.  The two guys that have stolen my heart and are God's gift to me.  I don't take either one for granted and realize how special these days are with them.  Our tiny family is made whole because of Christ.  I honestly couldn't have made it to this day without the guidance of my savior.

Today I was given three wonderful long hours to have 'me time'.  I was able to read my bible, clean up our home, and even make my bed! Who knew i'd feel so good being able to make my bed! ha seriously it is wonderful having a neat home. 
Then I sat down and watched t.v. and went into a state of relaxation while watching Cinderella (the one with Brandy).  God allows times of rest for a reason.  I needed a break so that I could take a step back and remember how wonderful my son is and that it's important to cherish this time with him and not get too worked up about feedings or schedules.  Life is simply unpredictable right now and i'm going to have to accept that.  The sooner the better!

Our church has been bringing us meals and it is a HUGE blessing! What a nice gesture to a family with a newborn baby. I can't even explain how wonderful it is to hear a knock at the door and see a friendly face with a handful of food.  I love the short conversation with the few woman who have stopped by and being encouraged in that short period of time.  Thank you!

I have learned to eat VERY fast.  If I remember to eat at all.  For example today it was 3:00 before I realized that I hadn't eaten.  It's not that i'm not hungry but did you know it's possible to forget about lunch? In my mind there are a thousand things (maybe an exaggeration!?) running through and then I forget about eating!  So tonight I had dinner except I hardly remember tasting it because I shoveled it down. Mainly because I was hungry but also because I never know how much time i'll be given to eat.  ..and who really wants a cold meal?

My husband is amazing.  Let me tell you how much I love that man! In the mornings he saves me coffee, he fills up my water jug and leaves it on the nightstand for when I get up.  He changed Garrett's diaper before he left for work!  He tells me that i'm beautiful/sexy..oh yes men THIS is important to do after your wife gives birth!  He still holds me during the night and is doing an incredible job of taking care of Garrett and I.  It's nice to be able to say, 'hey Darren, i'm feeling really sad tonight and i'm not sure why' and for him to hug me or say it's going to be okay.  I'm thankful that he helps me take care of Garrett's physical needs too. 

This weekend Darren's parents are coming! I'm very excited right now to have them come to meet Garrett and have their help.  I almost cried from reading a note my mother in law sent about coming to help.  It was a God send for sure! To hear, 'don't worry about anything, I change diapers, we're coming to help' ah..that is music to my ears! So we can't wait for them to come and have time with their grandson.

I love how simple life is in the midst of how crazy it is.  I love the moments that Garrett is snuggling up to me, fast asleep.  I love this child and it has given me a new perspective or glimpse of how God loves His children. It's deep..deeper than how I love my son and that is deep.  Loving Garrett is a natural thing to me...from the first moment I learned that we were expecting I couldn't wait and wanted to protect this baby and shower him with kisses.  Then for 9 months I carried him around inside of me dreaming big about motherhood and loving him some more.  But then I saw him for the first time and I cried tears of joy because he was perfect and beautiful.  It was just as I'd hoped it would be when we first saw each other.  And now he is almost 2 weeks old and my love has only deepened.  There has been long nights and days, i'm sleep deprived and exhausted but I love him more than ever.  At 2 in the morning it is hard to get up to your crying child who is demanding food but he is worth fighting tiredness and I'm definitely thankful for my new life as a mother.  It gets better I keep hearing....

Laura

My sweet baby



If I could ask for one thing tonight it would be a hug, my bed, box of tissue, and a chance to cry these sad feelings out. haha okay that's more than one thing but all those things go together, right? My mom had to leave today and I am feeling really bad! We were spoiled to have her here for 3 weeks!

Right now Garrett is sitting in my lap, leaning his head on my chest and looking super cozy.  This is how I feel in Jesus' arms today.  I am safe and after reading this morning how I am chosen by God to be his adopted Child (in Ephesians 1) it is sticking in my heart and mind. 

Garrett is on a schedule of his own, we don't have a feeding every 2 hours for 20 minutes. It's more sporadic and all across the board. Sometimes the boy falls asleep and I can't get him up, other times he eats for forever! There are times he eats EVERY hour, and then he'll decide to go three hours without eating.  It is hard for a girl like me who loves a schedule to follow.  I feel on demand 24/7 and it is exhausting! There have been moments I think, 'oh i'm done with this, lets do formula!'  But it's special to have time to bond with him in a special way. 

Who would have thought my favorite part of the day would be the mornings? I LOVE them sunshine or rain.  It's a new day and it's when I sit quietly before God and let him speak to my heart through the word.  I am at peace in the midst of uncertainty.  Garrett is content in the morning for the most part and I love when there is no cries to fix.  He looks up at me with his sweet eyes and I'm captured with a love that's unexplainable. 

As crazy as being a mother can be, it's also incredible.  To love another human being deeply and to the point that they could never do anything to make you not love them.  He gets angry during feedings sometimes and then i'm frustrated but as soon as we figure it out, we're both calm and i've forgotten already that he scratched me up!

I love my Savior more so today than ever before.  I love that I can step into his presence and be completely real with him.  Admit to fears, exhaustion, and sadness knowing He will cover me with His love in some way.   He blessed me with a husband who knows me and when Darren can tell i'm not feeling good will be there to talk with me, kiss me, or hold me.  What a great husband! My marriage has been fruitful this past week and that's a huge blessing.  It's scary bringing a baby home, feeling like a mess, and not knowing what you're doing.  Both Darren and I had a horrible first night when we brought Garrett home, but we've come so far since that night.  He is patient, loving, respectful, and caring towards me.  I keep thanking God that Darren is on board with fatherhood and wants to be a part of his sons life. 

I love how simple my life has become even though it's actually become complex! In Christ anything is possible.  Even a calm heart for a new mother.  I have accepted the house may not be neat as a pin, there won't be a 3 course dinner at 5:00, I won't look perfect, but I will have God remain in my heart each day...and that is going to be what holds this family together.  I want to walk through each day trusting God and loving him with all of my heart, mind, and soul.

Well my little bug is waking up and that means it's time to eat and get a diaper change! Hope you are having a wonderful sunday friends. :)

Laura

He is here!

Garrett Hudson Moore has arrived!

He was born Feb. 25th at 5:26 am

Weighed 7lbs15oz and was 19.75inches long

I am in love!

I wonder how long I'll have to write? Garrett is fast asleep in his bouncy chair and it appears all is right in his world. :) I have thought on and off about how to write a blog post covering this past week and find it's nearly impossible! 

There have been ups and downs and nights I didn't think we'd make it (the first night home!).  I realized today that the only thing getting me through the days has been this on-going conversation with God.  No matter what time of day, he is there pouring His love into my heart.  My heart is full of joy and peace today.  I am a young mom with more to learn than I anticipated.  The trade off is that I also didn't realize how much you could love your child! 
It's been important to me that although he has become my life that I am also being filled with God's word. It's early in the morning that God and I dig into His word and he teaches me.  I realized that it's going to look different.  I can't get out my bibles, notebook, concordance, dictionary, etc and really dig apart books of the Bible.  Right now it looks like this, opening the Bible and finding a passage like this morning in Ephesians 6 where it talks about putting on the armor of God. Or yesterday a psalm talking about how God is compassionate. I treasured those words that God wanted me to know.  If I want to be a mother after God's heart that means I have to spend time filling my heart and mind with God's word.  I'm thankful for the quiet moments with my Savior and being able to love Him all the more for letting me cling to Him desperately this past week. 

Garrett is the most incredible little baby.  I call him my 'sweetie pea'. :) ..and when he has a messy diaper he is my 'stinky pea' but still oh so very cute!
It's weird how 3 hours of sleep is something I am rejoicing over these days! Last night was the first time that we had long stretches of sleep! That was a blessing for this sleep deprived mommy. 
He is one week old and each day we are learning more and more about each other and our new worlds. He is an easy going baby so far. We had a few bumps in the road with breastfeeding because he was tongue-tied and couldn't get his tongue out.  Tuesday morning he had a small procedure where they snip under his tongue to help. (Yes, I cried for him!) having that done actually helped a lot! We are working on weaning him of the 'nipple shield' and that's getting better each day. 
I am feeling better myself each day.  It takes time to heal and recover after giving birth but i'm doing great! I LOVE how my stomach is going down, thanks to breastfeeding I think? I have to be careful when I start feeling good because then i'll get up and do too much and am feeling crummy again.  Thankfully my mom scolds me and tells me to sit down. 
Speaking of my mom..She has been wonderful! For the past few weeks she's been here helping me out and walking me through uncertain moments with a newborn.  What a blessing it's been having her here.  She was able to see Garrett being born. :) This week she has cleaned, cooked, baked, been a support, and loved her daughter by being completely selfless! Being a mother never stops...and i'm blessed to call her my mom.  She has put in a ton of work friends, and i know that she misses my dad a lot! I'm going to really miss her when she leaves this sunday morning..i'll probably be in tears but i'm sure she is ready to get back to her life! 
Darren can't get enough of his baby boy.  I think that seeing them together was everything and more that I hoped it would be.  He is a great dad and I really do mean that! I'm not just trying to make him sound good :).  He loves on that sweet child of his as much as possible.  The man wakes up with me in the middle of the night to change a diaper or hold him when i'm ready to pass out.  He is aware of him and showers the boy with sweet kisses.  Garrett is blessed to have him as his daddy, and i'm blessed to call him my husband. 
I've had many tear filled moments this first week (I'm on a roller coaster of emotions! lol) but God has tended to my fears by reminding me to TRUST Him.  I can't explain how comforting this week has been in the midst of the craziness. Each day gets sweeter and sweeter and I fall more and more in love with my baby boy and husband.  There are moments I feel helpless and unsure but God is faithfully walking me through every step of the way. 
I'm treasuring my newborn baby and not getting too caught up in the routine of feedings, diaper changes, and sleep.  This time will fly by and i'm soaking up this time in our lives! 
Well someone is stirring...The birth story will be coming next! Thank you for all the compliments, prayers, and encouragement friends! It's getting me through :)
Laura

Hey friends!

I'm sure you are stopping in to see if Garrett has arrived but he's not here yet.  :/ He has four days left until his due date but it looks like he may go passed it.  I'm praying he'll come friday though!
I had a doctors appointment today and the only progress was that i'm now 2.5 cm dilated :).   I've had contractions on and off but nothing regular yet.  Yesterday evening I thought, 'this is it' so I got ready but then the contractions faded away.  (That can be extremely discouraging)  My poor mom is probably tired of these false alarms! She's been awesome and has taken great care of me.  We went out to a quilting shop today and then to lunch.  She told me not to be anxious and relax because he will come and she'll wait to see him. 

I am dealing with some sinus junk with a sore throat unfortunately. I came home and thought maybe if I took a nap it would help make me feel better. However it was the kind of nap that you wake up feeling even more sick.  So i'm laying on the couch in my jammies watching HGTV and the FOOD channel with my mom. :)

Well that's the pregnancy update for you :). 
I've been thinking a lot about my sisters lately and how I miss them terribly. 
It makes me laugh to look back on the times melissa and I would be fighting and end up pulling each other's hair out one minute to laughing the next, or when I used to sneak into Nicole's room and drink her leftover sodas. (yuck!)  They used to give me the bad toys to play with because I never stayed long enough to play.  I remember how Melissa wouldn't let anyone hurt me growing up. Only she could be mean to me :).  Nicole was fun to hang around and I loved when she would let me in her room to hang out. 
My sisters are now my best friends.  I love talking to them and catching up.  There's no hard feelings when we don't talk for a week at a time, you just pick up where you left off.
I know without a doubt that when I go to either one of them with a problem they'll be honest with me even if it's not what I want to hear.  When you walk away from a conversation feeling refreshed and inspired, well there's something special in that! God didn't have to place me in a loving family.  He did though and I don't  want to take that for granted.  I have two sisters to share life with and grow closer to God alongside of.  Even though we live states away, we've become closer as we get older.  
When I found out Darren was leaving for c-school, it crushed me. Having both my sisters quickly contact me to share in my hurt was God's way of comforting me.  I love knowing them. 
As I enter into this next stage in my life..motherhood...I'm excited to do so with my sisters there for me.  They both have made this time in my life exciting! They're beyond excited to hear Garrett is here and can't wait to see him.  Garrett has the best aunts (my sister in laws included!)
Melissa is a nurse/new mom and a great one at that! She is an endless source of answers for a young mom :).  Nicole is a mother of four and a source of wisdom and encouragement.  I respect each of them and thank God for giving me two friends for life.  Here's a few pictures to share. :)

Melissa and I

Nicole and I

Melissa and I :)

Nicole and I :)

Thank you Nicole and Melissa for loving me well these 22 years and encouraging me to be the woman God is calling me to be. I love you both very much!

(I've been writing letters to Garrett in a journal for awhile and thought it'd be fun to share one! It's a mushy gushy sort of mom thing to do so feel free to pass on this post if you're not into that  :) I will not be offended!)

Dear Garrett,

Today Daddy and I went to a childbirth class that lasted 6 hours!  As the instructor explained pushing you out would be the hardest thing I'd ever do I turned to Dad and said, 'I changed my mind, I can't do this!'. :) haha Don't you worry sweet baby of mine, I'm going to be fine! I am still very nervous but i'm trusting God will bring provide the best nurses and doctor for us.  Grandma and Daddy will be there awaiting your arrival and i'm so thankful for each of them helping me deliver you into this world.   

Tonight we finished packing the hospital bags and they're ready at the door.  :)  I can't believe that you'll be here and how close we are.  Do you remember when you were a tiny peanut? I do! Now you are fully grown and just developing those strong lungs.  We can't wait to take care of you and shower you with love.  God blessed us so much with you already and we are excited to raise you in a family that loves Him.  It's not always going to be easy and i'm probably going to make mistakes but don't ever doubt how much I love you! 

Dad is nervous but mostly excited for you to come! He did a wonderful job today learning how to coach me during the labor hours and delivery.  My favorite thing that we did was having dad lightly rub my belly.  I haven't been that relaxed in awhile! He whispered funny things into my ear that made me laugh, he's so wonderful...lets see if I still find that humorous during a labor contraction. :) He loves us both very much! I should warn you...he can't wait to watch sports with you and teach you how to play a few xbox games..don't say I didn't warn you!  I know you'll be relieved to hear his voice and we will do everything we can to make you feel safe in this new world. 

I am anxious for your arrival but treasuring all of our last moments while you're still tucked safely inside. You treated me great during my first pregnancy and I'm thankful for that!  

Your birth state is going to be Virginia but don't get to comfortable because in a few years we may be moving on! Dad is in the United States Navy and our life is going to be full of adventures and along the way we'll be meeting the greatest people.  It will be hard sometimes when he has to leave but we'll shower him with fun boxes and letters and we're going to be blessed as our attitudes stay positive. Remember that because of what Daddy does mommy can stay home and take care of you, and you'll be able to see family that lives far away during long deployments.  Dad will make every effort he can to be a part of your life, trust me!  He's soo excited for you to be here.  

Right now your Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and our friends are waiting for the news that you've arrived! I want you to know how loved you are already and how excited we all are for your life.  God has already placed people in your life that are incredible and you're one blessed baby! Don't ever forget how loved you are by God and your family.

I have been feeling harder contractions since last night and today but nothing too regular that causes me to think you'll be here in the next day.  However, if you would like to come that'd be fine with me!  I Can't wait to meet you Garrett and we love you so much!  

love,

Mommy 

Getting back on the roller coaster....

Darren is home! ..and it's so wonderful to have him here again. 
Today was full..and I mean that in a bittersweet way.  As I look at the title of my blog, 'the life of a young navy wife' I feel both pride and sadness.  Throughout this journey as a navy wife there will be times I hear 'bad news' that cripples my spirits.  Today was one of those 'bad news' days....

Darren came home and I was plain old happy as can be! He was sitting on the bed and had that 'look' that something wasn't good and I knew something was coming.  He let me know that he was chosen for a c-school that would start in may and last 3 months.  It felt like someone punched me right in the gut as the tears welled up in my eyes.  Friends, I feel stretched by God this past year.  I hated having to watch my man leave for a deployment and then have another 3 week period of time away after that.  It was wonderful to imagine having him home for a 1+ year! That was like gold to this young heart.
I cried and let myself be sad because my heart ached.  (That's perfectly acceptable) If I didn't feel bad there would be something wrong with that picture. :) I love my husband very much and it's hard to be split apart for any amount of time.

We talked and figured out during the weekends he will most likely be able to come home and be with Garret and I.  It's a great thing that he was chosen to go to this school and i'm proud of him for that.  I prayed a lot today and finally came to grips with God's will and letting go of Laura's will.   I know that as God stretches me some more it's for a reason and I'm trusting Him right now.  Soo..we are getting strapped back into the roller coaster because we're headed back out for another ride.  I think it's safe to keep the harness on from here on out!
God has provided this past year in many ways and I don't doubt for one second that he'll stop.  I had to pull out my list of blessings today and be reminded of all the wonderful things the navy offers us.  This is the life of a navy wife and all around me there are wives that are hearing the 'bad news', and whatever that is we have to learn to accept it eventually and be a support for our husbands.  It's hard to get over the hump of feeling crushed but God puts people in your life who lift you up and hold you through difficult situations.  
I often have people ask me, 'laura, how do you do it? I could never be a military wife'.  I can only answer by saying I can do this because of the hope God gives me.  That he allows me to see in a perspective of a certain situation in a positive way.  I read this verse today and it brought comfort to my achy soul;

 "You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You" (Isa 26:3, NKJV).

I actually have this posted on my computer and haven't read it for awhile but after I had come to terms with what was going on and was back to smiles I came across this verse.  How awesome is that! God will bring you peace and provide strength to walk through anything when you trust Him.  I have had the sweetest day of prayer and i'm thankful for that.  I needed my Savior's comfort and the direction only He provides.  I hope that as we walk through this next chapter that God will continue to mold me and I will be able to share with you how great our God is.  It's going to be hard but I'm going to treasure the few months we have together and then the moments Darren will be home during those three months.  Garrett and I will be surrounded with friends during that time and I know we'll be blessed even more so! 
If you could pray that i'd continue to trust God that would be wonderful! Thank you friends for walking with me as I don't always know what i'm doing but i'm striving to honor God today and support Darren.
Laura

I love this picture :)  Life isn't always going to be easy but God will not abandon me..